Are there any jobs without gossipy and bitching staff?

[Romantique]

Sometimes feel like there aren’t, I know it’s also due to my lack of assertiveness and potentially the fact that I’m quiet.

In one job, I had a girl who kept making comments that I was ‘posh’ just because I don’t have the local accent I think, but for instance once I swore as something had exploded in the room, and she said ‘Wow, I thought you’d be too posh to swear’ or ‘I thought you were too posh to use that word’

In my current job, there is a girl I work with every so often. She was talking about a colleague of ours saying “Don’t you think she smells really bad.” I genuinely hadn’t noticed and even if I did I wouldn’t say something like that about someone so I said I didn’t know. She kept trying to goad me and saying come on, you must have noticed it.

I have short hair and like to change the colour and style often. She asked me if I were somebody who liked to experiment with different hairstyles. I said yes and she said “So is that why you’ve not got any hair left?”

She seems to mention every time that clients are ‘really happy to see her’ and I think it’s an insecurity thing really.
I may be overly sensitive but there are people like this in most jobs I’ve had, usually quite young.

I have to work closely with these people on occasion so ignoring them is difficult. Am I being overly sensitive, does anyone else have this ?

You said ‘considers himself an academic’, though? Is he? I ask because having multiple degrees is a base requirement for actual academics, and isn’t going to impress anyone as a ‘proof of intellect’.

@Leavisite

Yes you are right, I didn't word myself so well perhaps. He is an academic in the literal sense, but on the surface he has a massive superiority complex even against other academics, so you can imagine how he is with others. He's definitely improving though.

@Ameanstreakamilewide

I work with mostly men and they tend not to do this, but then again, they're not always sweetness and light either.

Swings and roundabouts, i'll be bound.

I was going to say exactly the same thing.

@RockinHorseShit

I work with mostly men and they tend not to do this

I disagree strongly that it's a female thing, it's a personality thing & men are often the worst in my experience

Yep, gossip, bitchiness and bullying it totally equal opportunities.

My colleagues aren't bitchy or gossipy; too busy getting their work done I expect. I work in finance OP.

Some workplaces are worse than others. It's do with the atmosphere and that's set at the very top. In some place bitchiness, even bullying is subtly encouraged, in others it's the opposite. Bad management of staff (ie encouraging competition, not making it clear who does what) can also make it worse.

@Starseeking

My colleagues aren't bitchy or gossipy; too busy getting their work done I expect. I work in finance OP.

No nice chatting either then. Pretty shit workplace if there's no chat .

@Leavisite

I’m an academic who’s worked at different institutions in several countries and have never found them bitchy or gossipy environments (toxic, yes, in some cases, but not for that reason). I don’t see that it’s to do with being highly-educated — though it probably is the case that you’ve worked hard and long to get to even the most junior position, and it’s not a field where there are lots of opportunities to move jobs, which means you invest in where you are without thinking you can sod off elsewhere easily.

It’s probably partly that, apart from meetings, it’s quite solitary — you’re doing research, often alone in libraries and archives, teaching, applying for funding etc — and often have an office to yourself. I do co-edit and run conferences with people, but a lot of my work doesn’t involve my colleagues.

A lot of the scenarios that reference bitchiness and gossip on here seem to involve open-plan offices, for instance.

I've known academics be bullied. You don't have be in an open plan office. It can be done when people do see each other, it can be done by email and it can be done by things like excluding people from meetings they should be invited to.

I work in a sector with mainly women. I rarely have had any colleagues being gossipy or bitchy.
I suspect it is because the sector you work in. The care sector is struggling for staff so has to take whoever it can get.

@RicherThanYew

Hmm, possibly a groundskeeper at a cemetery?

Some ghosts are nice, some aren't. I wouldn't star that job tomorrow night anyway.

"But I find you usually get out what you put in!"

That's victim blaming.
Some people are nice, some aren't and also, as I've explained above, there are toxic workplaces and collaborative ones and everything in between. You've been lucky, that's all.

HGV driver? Plenty of opportunities at the moment, I believe.

"He is an academic in the literal sense, but on the surface he has a massive superiority complex even against other academics, so you can imagine how he is with others."

Is he called Sheldon?

Talking about the superiority complex, a friend worked in a civil service and the office changed into open plan. One man who used to have his own office thought he was too important to be in the open plan and so refused to say hello to the colleagues/subordinates who worked right next to him.

@Gwenhwyfar, but the topic was ‘jobs without bitching and gossiping staff’ — absolutely, I’ve known bullying situations in academic departments. One of the places I referred to as toxic was so for that reason. It was a couple of senior admin abusing their power over juniors, though, rather than anything that arose out of general gossip.

@RicherThanYew

Hmm, possibly a groundskeeper at a cemetery?

[quote Leavisite]@Gwenhwyfar, but the topic was ‘jobs without bitching and gossiping staff’ — absolutely, I’ve known bullying situations in academic departments. One of the places I referred to as toxic was so for that reason. It was a couple of senior admin abusing their power over juniors, though, rather than anything that arose out of general gossip.[/quote]
But isn't bullying being bitchy?

I don't engage with bitchy colleagues or gossip. Unfortunately, I work with some really weird people. I try to ignore them too.

You work with them you don’t have to be friends. Just brush it off.

Former teacher here. I agree with the PP who is a teacher. There were still bitchy colleagues, but usually they didn't get to me in quite the same way as in other jobs, as the main focus has to be the children, not your colleagues. And you can stay out of colleagues' roads for much of the time.

Now that I am self-employed, I avoid the bitchy ones completely.

My self-employment has been getting rather quiet (probably a result of both COVID and Brexit) and I'm thinking of volunteering myself for work down at the local COVID vaccination centre. The only thing that's holding me back is that old fear of bitchy co-workers once again. If I'm not getting paid to tolerate it I'm certainly not going to put myself in the way of it on a voluntary basis.

I know it’s also due to my lack of assertiveness and potentially the fact that I’m quiet.

There's your answer, work on your assertiveness. I'm a really nice colleague but anyone who works with me knows never to pull any of this type of shit with me.

I work in Media and have very rarely encountered anyone bitchy luckily. I have had a couple of unpleasant managers, but my colleagues have all been lovely. I feel v lucky as I have made life long friends at most of the places I worked. So, no, it isn’t true of all jobs.

@KatherineJaneway

I know it’s also due to my lack of assertiveness and potentially the fact that I’m quiet.

There's your answer, work on your assertiveness. I'm a really nice colleague but anyone who works with me knows never to pull any of this type of shit with me.

No, don't victim blame. Some people are nasty, it's not OP's fault.

@Gwenhwyfar I didn't realise that not having bitchy or gossipy colleagues must mean that there's no nice chat Perhaps that's the case in your workplace, but not in mine.

My colleagues and I have lovely chit chat conversations, and the office is a decent place where I spend the majority of my time.

[quote Starseeking]@Gwenhwyfar I didn't realise that not having bitchy or gossipy colleagues must mean that there's no nice chat Perhaps that's the case in your workplace, but not in mine.

My colleagues and I have lovely chit chat conversations, and the office is a decent place where I spend the majority of my time.[/quote]
You said they didn't bitch or gossip because they were too busy. So obviously, the reason is not that they're too busy, but because they're nice. I was going on exactly what you said in your post so don't give me the confused face.

@Gwenhwyfar, no, not in the least in the situations I’m thinking of. I’d be surprised if an unpleasant word was spoken by the bully/bullies, it was more things like influencing committee/review decisions about career progression, unfair workloads, sidelining, exclusions from meetings at which something key to their work was discussed etc.

Yes @Gwenhwyfar, they're too busy to engage in unproductive, mean conversations, we don't have that kind of workplace culture. They've got time to have chit chat to pass the time of day though