Are there any jobs without gossipy and bitching staff?

[Romantique]

Sometimes feel like there aren’t, I know it’s also due to my lack of assertiveness and potentially the fact that I’m quiet.

In one job, I had a girl who kept making comments that I was ‘posh’ just because I don’t have the local accent I think, but for instance once I swore as something had exploded in the room, and she said ‘Wow, I thought you’d be too posh to swear’ or ‘I thought you were too posh to use that word’

In my current job, there is a girl I work with every so often. She was talking about a colleague of ours saying “Don’t you think she smells really bad.” I genuinely hadn’t noticed and even if I did I wouldn’t say something like that about someone so I said I didn’t know. She kept trying to goad me and saying come on, you must have noticed it.

I have short hair and like to change the colour and style often. She asked me if I were somebody who liked to experiment with different hairstyles. I said yes and she said “So is that why you’ve not got any hair left?”

She seems to mention every time that clients are ‘really happy to see her’ and I think it’s an insecurity thing really.
I may be overly sensitive but there are people like this in most jobs I’ve had, usually quite young.

I have to work closely with these people on occasion so ignoring them is difficult. Am I being overly sensitive, does anyone else have this ?

My current one. Although tbf I might not notice gossip as I'm always way out of any loops. There's one colleague I find tricky and nit picky but absolutely no bitching, and no gossiping. It's a friendly and supportive place with an awesome manager and good colleagues. It's rare though, and God knows I appreciate it.

Mrs. Hr is recruiting atm, they've just let 3 people go because they seem to think work is an extension of their social life, or they like to live in a 'Hello' magazine.
One actually complained to the manager, 'Why are you leaving me out of the chat', she then kept intimating to another colleague across the office floor, 'We'll talk later'.

She was dismissed during her probation period days later.

People need to STFU and do the job they're being paid to do.

try being self employed maybe

It's everywhere, I've experienced a lot of bitchiness over my working years. I can agree with a pp that working with more men is a lot easier. Saying that, the two women on my very small team are really lovely but they are few are far between. These ladies I work with are the quiet reserved hard working types. They are also very kind and empathetic. It's the gobby ones who tend not to have a nice word to say about anyone . It's human nature to talk about others but there's no reason to be horrible unless there's a good reason.

I’m an academic who’s worked at different institutions in several countries and have never found them bitchy or gossipy environments (toxic, yes, in some cases, but not for that reason). I don’t see that it’s to do with being highly-educated — though it probably is the case that you’ve worked hard and long to get to even the most junior position, and it’s not a field where there are lots of opportunities to move jobs, which means you invest in where you are without thinking you can sod off elsewhere easily.

It’s probably partly that, apart from meetings, it’s quite solitary — you’re doing research, often alone in libraries and archives, teaching, applying for funding etc — and often have an office to yourself. I do co-edit and run conferences with people, but a lot of my work doesn’t involve my colleagues.

A lot of the scenarios that reference bitchiness and gossip on here seem to involve open-plan offices, for instance.

@Idony

Retrain into something high skilled and with high pay. Surround yourself with educated people, not schoolyard thickos.

Cruel but true. I've done dimwit office work surrounded by people who can't spell, and moved into a highly skilled field where people are not only clever, they're working hard. There isn't time to be childish because there's actual, real work to do and other intelligent people to cooperate with.

Ha this is hilarious. I have worked with intelligence educated people who have been the biggest gossips ever and people not so intelligent who have been lovely. I think it’s more of a personality thing.

I've found it better if it's a more professional environment where you need some qualifications. When I've worked in care, shops, admin, banks there has always without fail been one or more people who bully others and make the environment unpleasant for everyone else. Care was particularly bad for it.

I disagree strongly that it's a female thing, it's a personality thing & men are often the worst in my experience

I don't think either is worse, they are the same. I agree though that it is a myth that bitching, bullying and side-taking are predominantly in female groups, it is common in both genders and I say that as a heterosexual man with mostly straight friends before people say ''it's only gay men''.

Hmm, possibly a groundskeeper at a cemetery?

Ha this is hilarious.
I have worked with intelligence educated people who have been the biggest gossips ever and people not so intelligent who have been lovely

this education has no reflection on the virtue of character.

It's absolute utter nonsense that people with better education will not be catty/bitchy/spiteful.

I totally agree with this, it has nothing to do with education. One of the biggest bitches I know, does so because he considers himself an academic, he is straight male & has several degrees & looks down on everyone else who doesn't have more bits of paper to prove intellect than him. He's very insecure though, always clearly very anxious in company & my pointing that out to him, had him suddenly see me as his equal, despite my creative career making me a bimbo prior to that. He now messages me constantly for my opinion on all sorts & is actually better with people in general than he was & is working on the insecurities that turns out to come from an abusive childhood. I do suspect he might also be on the spectrum, but it's not obvious unless you look closely.

Teaching - too busy to gossip! However the students can say nasty things about teachers (and each other) but they're only in the room a few times a week & it's easier to ignore

I strongly disagree with this. I have been in teaching for nearly a decade and would say it is 1 of the bitchiest professions going. So many staff have not left the school yard mentality in that they are as bad as the students.

It's very common unfortunately. I think it starts from the top. If managers dont challenge gossiping then people think it's ok to do

only often managers are as bad or in the clique.

@RockinHorseShit

I work with mostly men and they tend not to do this

I disagree strongly that it's a female thing, it's a personality thing & men are often the worst in my experience

I agree! I usually WFH, self employed but occasionally clients insist I work in their office. It's always the men who try to freeze out one of the perfectly normal and innocuous fellow workers, or who bitch about the size of female co-workers.

I’ve never worked anywhere that’s gossipy and bitchy – most of my work before the current job has been in very male-dominated environments which might make a difference, but more likely that they have been professional environments. I also don’t use work as an extension of my social life – I get on with my colleagues but at the end of the day I don’t socialise with them, I’m not interested in being “friends” and I have no interest in gossip. To be honest I am so busy at work that I rarely have time for long chats/gossips!

My office is great although a new colleague recently asked us who she should watch out for and was quite surprised when we said no one!

I’ve been teaching 27 years. Never really bitchy, mainly supportive.

@RockinHorseShit

It's absolute utter nonsense that people with better education will not be catty/bitchy/spiteful.

I totally agree with this, it has nothing to do with education. One of the biggest bitches I know, does so because he considers himself an academic, he is straight male & has several degrees & looks down on everyone else who doesn't have more bits of paper to prove intellect than him. He's very insecure though, always clearly very anxious in company & my pointing that out to him, had him suddenly see me as his equal, despite my creative career making me a bimbo prior to that. He now messages me constantly for my opinion on all sorts & is actually better with people in general than he was & is working on the insecurities that turns out to come from an abusive childhood. I do suspect he might also be on the spectrum, but it's not obvious unless you look closely.

You said ‘considers himself an academic’, though? Is he? I ask because having multiple degrees is a base requirement for actual academics, and isn’t going to impress anyone as a ‘proof of intellect’.

I’ve never worked anywhere where there aren’t gossipy and bitchy staff.

Try to ignore them, if not ,say after covid we are lucky to have a job!

I only came across this in very early jobs I did as a kid, shop work and waitressing etc. Not in my career. Are your colleagues very young? Certainly sound immature.

I work in an office with 90% women. Everyone is lovely, so polite and helpful. One woman sometimes sends me DMs that skirt bitchy (“I see Tracey is looking for jobs but she closed the screen when I walked by”). I just ignore, I hope everyone else does too. It’s the nicest work atmosphere I have ever had!

I've had a couple of jobs with no bitching. One was in a lovely nursery which had to close due to parents not paying.
The second was in retail where the department was mostly men. I generally think men are less bitchy thought (obviously there are exceptions).
Unfortunately where I work now is vile. Lots of bitching and complaining. I do my best to keep out of it and talk to the non bitchy people.

I don't think I've worked anywhere with horrible people in the last 3 or 4 jobs. But I find you usually get out what you put in!

It’s in care work, there also seems to be all this ‘oh X client loves me’ which is a bit pathetic. Some really nice colleagues, but I’m planning to leave early next year. I’m worried about ending up in another place like this