To not get DS4 bday present because of class party

[Olivegreenstrawberries]

My son's birthday is mid December, this year he will have a class party. His class is 35 pupils so I guess about 25 to 35 will come. I'm already getting overwhelmed by the thought of that many presents, especially right before Xmas.
How long will it take for him to open them all?!

I'm thinking that there's no need for me to get him a present too for his birthday. Is that awful?

You have to let children have presents. Presents are more important than parties.

Is your house very minimalistic? Its awful to not let children have stuff.

@Plantstrees

I had a friend whose birthday was on Christmas Day. Her parents always celebrated her 'half birthdays' in the summer and had a party then as it seemed so unfair for her not to have a proper birthday celebration.

My parents never allowed my siblings to open their Christmas presents until I had opened my Birthday ones. We also always had Birthday cake after Christmas dinner. My family also give me gifts on their birthdays.

What's the poor little sod going to think when he goes to other kid's parties and sees them getting bundles of presents when he didn't get any?
Even worse when he realises it was because his Mum told his friends not to.
Don't have a big party if you can't "cope" (really?!) with the guests bringing presents for your child. It's just how it works.

Get your child a decent present. Make a planof what to do with all the other gifts

It's horribly unfair to penalise him for having a December birthday. Dsd has a birthday a few days after Christmas and she has had to deal with family members combining Christmas and birthday presents basically eliminating the existence of her birthday, she's now an adult and doesn't mind if it means she gets one more expensive nicer gift but hated it as a child. We have a D's due in early January and he will be having seperate birthday and Christmas gifts plus parties when he's old enough. We have already had grandparents talking of combining Christmas and birthday gifts for him even though he's not even born yet, they have been told that's a crap attitude and if they do that then they can't give anything to our august born D's on his birthday either. You know your D's has a birthday close to Christmas so should budget for that each year. You wouldn't not give a summer born child a birthday present or ask their friends not to give them presents so why do it to a December born?

I would just say no presents or can you request everyone buys him a book? You can never have too many books and if they’re naff or he gets bored of them just take them to the charity shop.

What shitty parenting.

Of course you have to get him a present - you're his mum & he's 4yrs old - not a baby who won't realise!!

Big class parties only happen a couple of times - let him enjoy it while it lasts! Just don't do the party on the day of his actual birthday if you don't want him overwhelmed by gifts. Or, if it bothers you that much, don't do a big class party in the 1st place!

🤷‍♀️

I would go for something practical. Eg scooter or bike if he needs one. If you know he will need one in the summer get him something small for his birthday, and then get him what he needs in the summer.

How old is he? Is he old enough to understand a deal that his present is the big party?

CatsArePeople

How old is he? Is he old enough to understand a deal that his present is the big party?“

This. Did he even have a choice?

this HAS to be lazy journalist syndrome.

True

@gingerbiscuits

Of course you have to get him a present - you're his mum & he's 4yrs old - not a baby who won't realise!!

Big class parties only happen a couple of times - let him enjoy it while it lasts! Just don't do the party on the day of his actual birthday if you don't want him overwhelmed by gifts. Or, if it bothers you that much, don't do a big class party in the 1st place!

🤷‍♀️

This. I don't like throwing big parties so I'm not going to. I use our small house as an excuse. I'd take a couple friends with them for a fun outing and get a present.

One year as an adult, everyone said happy birthday to me except my dad. My dad is the only person I thought about that day. You should get him something...otherwise he's going to think you just don't care (even though this isn't true)

OP

Depending on how old your son is could you do the 'half birthday' present? So nothing now but in June he get a big present.

It would mean he could have something summary like a bike, trampoline, scooter.

Summery obviously

@Terminallysleepdeprived

Yes you are unreasonable sorry.

A present doesn't have to be an item. It could be a trip somewhere he would like, theme park, theatre, museum etc.

You have chosen to do a class party so you cannot imo then punish your child by not getting him a gift

This, a subscription is also good.

If you can afford a class party you can afford a thoughtful gift. At 4 he could have something he will use for a while - a bike, a trampoline, a bookcase, new bedding, nice pyjamas, a kids cookbook?
The party invites can say 'no gifts', no problem. I did the same for my 3yo once. Some people still being them but it saves on a lot of rubbish.
But if they do bring gifts, likely they will cost no more than £10. You can spend a bit more.

We've got 8! Class parties coming up for DD - if I give a £10 toy shop voucher (as that seems to be the minimum you can buy) then that's £80 I've got to shell out before Xmas. If everyone at the party in same boat as me then that's over £300 in likely vouchers for the bday child to spend (and I imagine the party cost half that - I've looked at prices!) so the parents are at least £150 up in terms of bday so I'd maybe just get something small-ish

I used to look around and buy £5 type kits when on sale. 3 for 2 at argos etc. I aimed 5-7. Rdcent buys were a slime kit (checked sith parents first!)

Often the range does cheaper craft kits too.

Ok I needed this. Thanks everyone. I will be getting him some presents.

A present idea for you OP is find a huge cardboard box and fill it with those plastic balls (or balloons) and hide some small wrapped presents in eg chocolate, bubbles, plastic tat. My DS loved unwrapping his “massive” present and then diving for little presents which actually cost me about £5.