weird text from lady on facebook marketplace. Now I don't know if I was U?

[Sneezecakesmama]

I couldn't find my umbrella so decided on buying one off FB marketplace.
Found a nice Joules one for £15 and asked to buy it.
At 09.12 am had the conversation via messenger and agreed to buy. She said it would be on the doorstep and put the money through the letterbox. Fine by me.

I asked what time was convenient and she replied no later than 12.15 as she was going out and gave me the address. I said I would be there at 12.
At 11am I found my umbrella (DH had it) so messaged her at 11.12 am to apologise and say I didn't need it after all, but thank you very much.
She replied
Is this a joke I have changed my plans plus taken item off eBay!!!?
I am fuming reported and informed police as you have our address plus our plans!! Very odd

It was literally 2 hours so why take it off eBay? She hadn't changed her plans and why that level of aggression?

Was I really being as unreasonable as she says? Genuinely confused!

YANBU, you are entitled to change your mind about a purchase and you let her know. A lot of people would have just not bothered to turn up and she would be left wondering. She sounds unhinged. Ignore.

The police aren't going to care at all but I can see why she was annoyed.

Once you'd agreed you should have just gone ahead with the purchase.

YABU to spend £15 on a second hand umbrella

I get that she has been mildly inconvenienced. Although given that she was out at the time you were supposed to call suggests that she didn't have to wait in for you or anything like that so I would suggest that the inconvenience was very minimum. At least you messaged her; most people would just have not turned up.

As for suggestions that the OP shouldve bought the item anyway out of kindness or altruism, why should she? It's a financial transaction not a charitable donation.

I worry about the mental health of people who claim to be "fuming" after such a minor inconvenience. How do such people cope when real bad things happen to them?

If you sell on second hand platforms like FB and Ebay, you have to accept that there will be a certain amount of inconvenience, mad buyers and pisstakers and adopt a zen approach. Her reaction was actually ridiculous and I hope the police told her to piss off.

You should have just bought it but yeah her response was ott.

Having wasted a significant proportion of my morning snoozing time reading this thread, I'm pretty sure that agreeing to drive for an hour to get a second hand umbrella (presumably in the rain) because you couldn't find yours, then finding yours and cancelling on the seller, then making a post about them on a public forum to ridicule them, whilst claiming not to even be bothered, by the seller or by anyone who disagrees with you, is more unreasonable than being irritated because you've been messed around by a FB buyer and sending them a private message to express that.

@PetriDisher

Sofiegiraffe You have completely misunderstood the law of contract, what does and does not constitute a legally binding one (spoiler - one can absolutely be created via FB Messenger, or indeed verbally) and what happens to that contract in the event of misrepresentation, faulty goods or one person "changing their mind". I don't propose to set out a full correction because it would be long and is not the point of this thread, but I just wanted to put that marker down for anyone who might think your post is accurate advice - it is not.

Please do point out how a verbal exchange or FB message creates a legal obligation to buy??

It is not very odd at all.I can totally sympathise with the seller.There is nothing so annoying then timewasters on Ebay and FB.You also have her address and this would concern me too.there are some weirdos on these sites.I would have bought the brolly.the seller has obviously made an effort to give you your bought item and you totally disreslected her effort.

You also have her address and this would concern me too.there are some weirdos on these sites

Why do people keep saying this? OP would have had the seller's address regardless of the sale completing or not. How does OP changing her mind about the purchase increase the risk to the seller in terms of awareness of her home location? OP would have still known it after collecting the brolly (had she done so)

You didnt do anything wrong, people are allowed to change their mind. Her problem for taking it off ebay, obviously you don't do that unless the item has sold and been collected. I've had people change their mind on items they were going to buy, it wouldn't occur to me to be annoyed. Its just one of those things.

Sofiegiraffe At very high level - in England to create a legally binding contract you need offer, acceptance, consideration (which can simply take the form of exchange of promises - 'I'll pay you £1'/ 'I'll give you this item') and intention to create legal relations (a pretty low bar and subject to certain presumptions depending on whether, for example, the context of the other three elements was in a domestic familial setting (presumption against) or - like a FBM setting - a commercial context (presumption for)). Those elements can be present verbally or in any written form. Writing is not required for a contract, it just makes its existence and the terms of it easier to establish if one part seems to enforce later.

It's very easy to create a legally binding contract in a way people would think of as 'casually'. Certain terms may be explicit or implied (e.g. about quality), and misrepresentation can affect your obligations but if you have created a contract and there is no legal 'out' identified, you have created obligations for yourself.

In reality is anyone likely to try to enforce those obligations against you for something agreed for sale in FBM for £5, or even suffer compensateable loss if you back out it? Probably not. And there will be plenty of nuance in every situation that could affect the analysis of the basic principles.

If anyone find themselves in an uncertain legal situation around contracts and sale of goods they should seek proper legal advice rather than relying on any basic internet outlines of general principles by me or anyone else.

But my basic point is, please don't state your personal moral reasoning and opinion as though it were actually the law, because it may mislead people.

YANBU. She sounds pretty unhinged. Its always best to meet at a neutral place. I do this unless i know the person.

And threatening to inform the police shows she’s an odd cookie.

@PetriDisher

Sofiegiraffe At very high level - in England to create a legally binding contract you need offer, acceptance, consideration (which can simply take the form of exchange of promises - 'I'll pay you £1'/ 'I'll give you this item') and intention to create legal relations (a pretty low bar and subject to certain presumptions depending on whether, for example, the context of the other three elements was in a domestic familial setting (presumption against) or - like a FBM setting - a commercial context (presumption for)). Those elements can be present verbally or in any written form. Writing is not required for a contract, it just makes its existence and the terms of it easier to establish if one part seems to enforce later.

It's very easy to create a legally binding contract in a way people would think of as 'casually'. Certain terms may be explicit or implied (e.g. about quality), and misrepresentation can affect your obligations but if you have created a contract and there is no legal 'out' identified, you have created obligations for yourself.

In reality is anyone likely to try to enforce those obligations against you for something agreed for sale in FBM for £5, or even suffer compensateable loss if you back out it? Probably not. And there will be plenty of nuance in every situation that could affect the analysis of the basic principles.

If anyone find themselves in an uncertain legal situation around contracts and sale of goods they should seek proper legal advice rather than relying on any basic internet outlines of general principles by me or anyone else.

But my basic point is, please don't state your personal moral reasoning and opinion as though it were actually the law, because it may mislead people.

I'm sorry, but are you new?

I mean, you come on here, with your reasonable tone, your well-constructed sentences, knowing what you're talking about - what's your game, sunshine? It's exactly this sort of rationality and expertise that can cause irreparable damage to Mumsnet specifically and social media as a whole. Is that what you want? Is it?

It's a disgrace. Bloody tree-hugging commie.

@callmeadoctor

Cant get past the fact that it would have been an hours drive, for an UMBRELLA!!!!!!!!!!

I missed that

An hour ?

Again drive to local poundshop for one for £1

@PetriDisher

Ok, I'll rephrase. There is no criminal law broken by changing your mind about a purchase before monies are exchanged and the involving of the police malarkey is ridiculous. If that were a legal issue the police would be being called every time someone got to the checkout in Tesco and said "sorry changed my mind about that item". That's what I meant. It's the seller's reference to the police that is ridiculously OTT.

I think you were committed to buying. As nice as joules are, you could have bought a cheaper one elsewhere.

However, she did overreact.

WalkingOnTheCracks This made me laugh! Thanks for the "reasonable" rather than "pious" which I can easily see me straying into!

She sounds like a classic Mumsnetter to me!!

I've had people cancel, I much prefer them to the one's that just don't turn up.

Block her on FB & leave her to froth.

@Pancakeorcrepe

YABU and she’s not the weird one here. I would have just still bought the umbrella. What you did was annoying and selfish.

Really?

See, I think going out and buying another umbrella you don't need because you've found yours would be weird.

OP did the right thing - at least she told the seller she was cancelling!!

sofiegiraffe Agreed, no crime!

Though I believe that the reason the seller threatened to contact the police was not because the OP pulled out of the sale as such, but because she was concerned that the OP was a scammer trying to find out when her house would be unoccupied.

Paranoid? Probably. Would the police actually do anything proactive about her concerns? Probably not. Did the seller actually call the police? Doubtful. But I don't think the part about the police was about the OP not ultimately buying the umbrella.

I'm sorry, but are you new?

*I mean, you come on here, with your reasonable tone, your well-constructed sentences, knowing what you're talking about - what's your game, sunshine? It's exactly this sort of rationality and expertise that can cause irreparable damage to Mumsnet specifically and social media as a whole. Is that what you want? Is it?

It's a disgrace. Bloody tree-hugging c*ommie
Well said. Get out of here and come back when you can suggest the OP chases the seller down the street with a striped yet also floral brolly.

See, I think going out and buying another umbrella you don't need because you've found yours would be weird.

It's no weirder than driving for an hour to buy an umbrella.

I'm truly sorry, I will learn the rules of the game and do better next time!

£15 and an hour’s drive for a second hand umbrella? Never mind the (undoubtedly twattish) decision to pull out of the deal at the last minute, YABU for that alone.

Nice try with the carbon footprint excuse though - as if you give the tiniest of shits about that 😂

@PetriDisher

So we are at cross purposes them, as opposed to me talking rubbish. I'm referring to criminal law whilst you appear to be referring to consumer law. Either way, the police aren't interested. Ridiculously over the top reaction.
And yes, seller is beyond paranoid to assume that. She's given her address out willingly online regardless so 🤷‍♀️, if you do that; you accept that another person knows where you live.