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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

weird text from lady on facebook marketplace. Now I don't know if I was U?

262 replies

Sneezecakesmama · 28/10/2021 18:34

I couldn't find my umbrella so decided on buying one off FB marketplace.
Found a nice Joules one for £15 and asked to buy it.
At 09.12 am had the conversation via messenger and agreed to buy. She said it would be on the doorstep and put the money through the letterbox. Fine by me.

I asked what time was convenient and she replied no later than 12.15 as she was going out and gave me the address. I said I would be there at 12.
At 11am I found my umbrella (DH had it) so messaged her at 11.12 am to apologise and say I didn't need it after all, but thank you very much.
She replied
Is this a joke I have changed my plans plus taken item off eBay!!!?
I am fuming Angry reported and informed police as you have our address plus our plans!! Very odd

It was literally 2 hours so why take it off eBay? She hadn't changed her plans and why that level of aggression?

Was I really being as unreasonable as she says? Genuinely confused!

OP posts:
callmeadoctor · 28/10/2021 21:47

Cant get past the fact that it would have been an hours drive, for an UMBRELLA!!!!!!!!!!

Youreacockarentyou · 28/10/2021 21:55

LOL imagine that phone call to the police - crazy woman.

Youreacockarentyou · 28/10/2021 21:56

But yes YABU to consider driving an hour for a second hand umbrella.

Sofiegiraffe · 28/10/2021 21:57

Her reaction was extremely OTT. Yes this is a mild irritation, but doesn't warrant that response. I also never remove an item or list it as sold until buyer has physically collected it - it's just "pending sale" until that point, in case it falls through. So yeah, what you did was mildly annoying. But she was a bit premature in removing it from sale IMO and her reaction regarding police etc is utterly strange.

Sofiegiraffe · 28/10/2021 21:58

*It’s a bit weird the way some people on here seem to think agreeing to buy something on FB marketplace is akin to signing a contract in the blood of your first born.
*
Laughed a bit too much at this 😂

ShirleyPhallus · 28/10/2021 21:59

2 points:

  1. Why would you spend £15 on a second hand umbrella?
  2. How do so many people still misuse bought and brought?
Sofiegiraffe · 28/10/2021 22:00

its the address thing which would be make me anxious. had lots of people in the past pull out of sames after being given my address. now i only give the address when they are in my suburb. once they text they can have the street and number.

But they still have your address whether they turn up to purchase item or not? I'm not sure how a no show increases the risk - you've given your address to them either way.

ShirleyPhallus · 28/10/2021 22:00

@callmeadoctor

Cant get past the fact that it would have been an hours drive, for an UMBRELLA!!!!!!!!!!
Esp when she said it was an environmental decision to buy a second hand one Grin
Sofiegiraffe · 28/10/2021 22:01

Yes, they've been round, battered my door down, cuffed me and only released me after I accepted a caution for wanton breach of an umbrella contract.

😂😂

Sofiegiraffe · 28/10/2021 22:02

It isn't good etiquette to reserve something, if there is a chance that you might not want it. Hence she took it off as soon as a sale was agreed.

This was her mistake. Never do that until buyer collects. Nothing is contracted - people can and do change their minds!

AnitaMani · 28/10/2021 22:04

If she was leaving it on the doorstep I don't see how it would have inconvenienced her. You are genuine, there are more people like you than time wasters.

Sofiegiraffe · 28/10/2021 22:04

@SnackSizeRaisin

It was her choice to tell you she'd be out. That was completely unnecessary! Anyway you still don't actually know if the house is empty - there could be other people home.

Complete over reaction. No shows are part of the territory with FB marketplace. If you don't like it don't sell stuff that way. Go via eBay and post it or give to charity.

Agree with all of this.

Lucyloo49 · 28/10/2021 22:05

Wow I can't believe some of the comments here.

You were absolutely not obliged to buy her umbrella. It's frustrating for her yes but that's just what Facebook marketplace is. If she hasn't asked for a deposit then you can't assume the person is going to buy the item until they arrive. It's just the type of selling marketplace is.

I would have done the same as you and given her over the top reaction I'd probably just block her. Common sense to not tell someone your plans for the day, maybe she has learnt some things from this x

Sofiegiraffe · 28/10/2021 22:07

At 09.12 am had the conversation via messenger and agreed to buy. She said it would be on the doorstep and put the money through the letterbox. Fine by me.

I asked what time was convenient and she replied no later than 12.15 as she was going out and gave me the address.

If she was leaving the item on the doorstep and happy for you post money through, why on earth did she need you to arrive before she went out at 12.15? Confused

Sofiegiraffe · 28/10/2021 22:07

Bold fail 🙄

OooohAhhhh · 28/10/2021 22:08

No you're not being unreasonable at all. You was interested, then found your umbrella so you let her know you didn't need it anymore. I don't see where the blame on you is 🤷‍♀️
You aren't obliged to pay or buy anything on FB marketplace or eBay for that matter unless you really want to and you want the item.
You would of been unreasonable if you wouldn't of let her know and just didn't turn up, but even then that's not a crime ffs! You let her know. I have shown interest on FB marketplace stuff before but then changed my mind and let the seller know. I certainly didn't loose any sleep over it and seller wasn't bothered.
Shame on her for wasting police time. It's people like that who take up valuable resources for someone that really needs it.

Violet869 · 28/10/2021 22:10

She does sound like a drama queen, yes it’s a bit annoying how people change their minds last minute but that’s life and it’s not as if you didn’t turn up, you still had the decency to let her know. I travelled to collect an item a few years ago on a selling page, the lady forgot I was coming, so wasn’t in when I came to collect, yes it was annoying but people make mistakes, she did offer to deliver it to me but I just arranged to re-collect when I was near her way again.

Sofiegiraffe · 28/10/2021 22:15

I have shown interest on FB marketplace stuff before but then changed my mind and let the seller know. I certainly didn't loose any sleep over it and seller wasn't bothered.

I've had a lady drive over an hour to my house to buy some brand new, in box and unopened trainers for an absolute bargain (bought for my Dd for Christmas but didn't fit her). Price was agreed etc, she said she was on way. She then turned up, asked to inspect them on the doorstep, attempted to jam her foot in them, then handed them back and said "sorry, wrong size" 🤦🏼‍♀️ The size was clearly advertised on the advert 🙄😂 I was part annoyed, part amused. Anyway... I definitely didn't threaten her with the police or anything. Nor did I remove them from sale just in case. C'est la vie. All part of online selling.

Crimsonripple · 28/10/2021 22:24

I think you had a good escape. I wouldn't buy a second hand Joules umbrella for £15. £10 maybe but brand new they're £27!

Massive overreaction! Why would you change your plans for someone collecting a sodding umbrella. Make them work around you.

FreshFancyFrogglette · 28/10/2021 22:39

The fact still remains, if you are banking on that money, and altering your plans in order to have it, it is a massive blow to be let down.
I know that the op hasn't broken a law, it is still extremely upsetting when this happens, if youare desperate for the money.

Maskless · 28/10/2021 22:46

YABU

you should have bought this one instead.

www.adulthumanfemale.store/product-page/umbrella-woman-definition

MyDcAreMarvel · 28/10/2021 22:49

She was staying in the make sure the umbrella wasn’t taken by someone else.
It was on the doorstep because covid.
Don’t see why that isn’t obvious to some posters.

FreshFancyFrogglette · 28/10/2021 22:54

I've reread and realise that the seller didn't change plans, just made plans.
I'm biased because Im thinking of times when I've sold on marketplace. Always when I haven't got two pennies to rub together, and have exhausted all options for borrowing. It's always been stuff that I didn't really want to sell, but am super grateful to get a buyer. Luckily they've always shown up (although once claimed to have lost the money on the way, until I said I'd walk with them to cashpoint, and they found it in their pocket).
Marketplace is strange. I once agreed a sale on opened perfume, then was offered double the asking price, I messaged the original buyer to see if they'd mind if I took the better offer, and they were furious, threatened to report me etc, I ended up going with them because I felt bad. Gutted to know that I could have got more though.

Platax · 28/10/2021 23:31

Technically she could sue you, because you had a concluded, binding contract in place. However, it may well be difficult for her to demonstrate financial loss, assuming it's the sort of item that sells fairly easily.

Platax · 28/10/2021 23:32

It was literally 2 hours so why take it off eBay

Why wouldn't she take it off eBay once she had a firm agreement to sell?