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AIBU?

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Original poster

Lateral flow testing before visiting my new baby

207 replies

Neleh91 · 28/10/2021 13:07

Hello, I’m thinking ahead I know but lots of people I know just seen to be getting covid recently.
My partner and I have decided that once baby is here ( due dec ) that if anyone wants to visit, we would ask them to do a home test first just to protect baby. My family and his would have NO issues with this but some of my friends are a bit strange about the vaccine.. testing etc.. I mentioned to one of them and she thinks it’s not fair to ask people to do that. Just wonders what everyone thinks? Is it too much.. I just feel like it’s safer for baby.

OP posts:
scarpa · 28/10/2021 19:38

@daisypond

Where do you get these tests from? How much are they? I’m very vulnerable with chronic, life-shortening conditions, and work full time in an office, travel by public transport daily etc, am in and out of hospital, and no-one has suggested that people need LFTs while visiting me on my sickbed, where I currently am. It’s never occurred to me. I didn’t think they were for things like that. I’ve had two PCR tests - for hospital admission - and that’s it.
Free from the NHS website. I've been doing 2 a week as recommended, and because my job involves a lot of out and about with other people and I have vulnerable relatives - got through a lot!
covetingthepreciousthings · 28/10/2021 19:39

’m not familiar with doing covid tests, lateral flows or official ones, our household hasn’t had any symptoms of illness during the pandemic thankfully so we don’t have any experience of testing

You can order lateral flow tests from the gov website very easily, it's worth getting a pack to give them a go as it's a very similar process for the PCR, so worth trying so you know what to do / expect. All adults should be testing weekly anyway but I know not everyone does.

Sprostongreen21 · 28/10/2021 19:45

@whatswithtodaytoday

Tbh, if there were a readily available home test for flu/RSV/various other illnesses, I would happily do that too. No-one wants to get ill when they have a newborn or have a sick baby, and Covid is incredibly prevalent at the moment.

Personally I wouldn't take a tiny baby to a restaurant either, though I understand some people think it's fine and of course the main risk is going to come from siblings in school/nursery, so that probably only applies to first-borns.

This!! I’ve worked with so many poorly babes from ordinary viruses. During lockdowns in hospital we didn’t see this because the contact tiny babies had was minimal so less exposure.

Covid is a virus it affects people differently. It may not affect a baby like RSV or flu in most cases however no one can say for definite ‘they won’t be affected by covid.’ Some children do and can get quite sick with covid. It may not be headline news/deaths but it’s a virus that can affect everyone. Parents have a right to be cautious if they want to.

@Neleh91 I already test twice weekly but if I meet anyone vulnerable and anyone with small children I do this anyway. Most people would understand. It isn’t a PFB issue it’s a still in a pandemic where the U.K. is letting it run and it’s easier to pretend it’s not happening.

Dandymax1 · 28/10/2021 19:49

It's a simple at home test. 30 min wait and then advises on what to do. Best safe than sorry in my eyes 😀

LemonKitten · 28/10/2021 20:19

Your baby, your rules. My granddaughter is due in January, I'm double vaccinated and would have no issues taking a test before seeing her.

ColinTheKoala · 28/10/2021 20:23

@daisypond

Do people regularly do lateral flow tests? I’ve never done one. I’m double jabbed and had the booster jab, though. I’ve had a few PCR tests, though.
I've not done any tests either (LFT or PCR). I work from home, haven't had symptoms and can't bear things either up my nose or down my throat (I think I'd rather have a smear test and that's saying something). I've chosen holiday destinations where I didn't have to test.

Baby should have immunity from its mother for a good few months but if you asked me to do an LFT I'd just come to the front door, wave at baby, hand over a present and go.

Suspiciousmind20 · 28/10/2021 20:25

Respiratory illnesses are rife in children at the moment so this sounds very sensible to me. Pre pandemic we asked people not to visit with colds. We wanted to wait until DCa bit bigger before exposing to germs.

We always agree with overnight visitors that we all do LFTs beforehand. It just seems sensible.

I still caught from primary age DC though. Can’t stop the flow there!

HikingforScenery · 28/10/2021 20:31

No problem with it at all

Lizlou85 · 28/10/2021 20:38

I think that if you have to ask people to do this, do you really want them in your house? I'd happily take a Lateral flow test to visit a new born without being asked because parenting is hard enough without you or Other half catching this or something else along with sleepless nights. I'd also like to think that my friends and family wouldn't visit if they had a sniffle, head ache, didn't feel right.
We meet a pregnant unvaccinated friend recently and I messaged to say we'd done the tests and negative, she was shocked someone would think like that, but appreciated it.

Original poster
Neleh91 · 28/10/2021 21:05

I’d just trust that anyone who was close enough and wanted to visit would do the rest and be honest if it wasn’t negative

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 28/10/2021 21:07

I think it’s perfectly acceptable, sensible even. If anyone doesn’t want to come and visit for such a stupid reason, really, they’re not friends.

OnTheBoardwalk · 28/10/2021 21:13

Absolutely reasonable to protect you and your baby

I do a test before socialising or visiting elderly relatives then another a few days later. Takes no time at all and puts my mind at ease

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 28/10/2021 21:14

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect sick people to stay away from a newborn, as you would’ve hoped they would have done already. I do think it’s unreasonable for you to expect that healthy people have to constantly prove they’re not “sick”.
Plus there’s the fact that of the 200 or so respiratory viruses that affect humans, covid is really far down the list of ones that babies need to concerned about. Something to do with lack of ACE receptors. They’re at much greater risk from flu and RSV.

hotelharibo · 28/10/2021 21:24

Definitely NOT unreasonable

Even if people don't believe in doing LFT they should do it to protect your newborn and help you feel more comfortable

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/10/2021 21:25

SweetBabyCheeses99

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect sick people to stay away from a newborn, as you would’ve hoped they would have done already. I do think it’s unreasonable for you to expect that healthy people have to constantly prove they’re not “sick”.
Plus there’s the fact that of the 200 or so respiratory viruses that affect humans, covid is really far down the list of ones that babies need to concerned about. Something to do with lack of ACE receptors. They’re at much greater risk from flu and RSV.“

Was Covid about when yours were newborns?

KT727 · 28/10/2021 21:29

I think you're being completely reasonable, particularly if you have unvaccinated friends!

KT727 · 28/10/2021 21:31

Oh and my friend's baby caught Covid at 4/5 weeks old and was quite poorly with it, which makes me think it's definitely sensible.

Flittingaboutagain · 28/10/2021 21:57

I've had no issue with people being told they couldn't cuddle my prem baby at all and only the grandparents have been allowed to cuddle the baby; with masks on and negative LFT. I just couldn't live with the potential outcome of exposing my baby to Covid because someone 'fancied a cuddle'. Your baby your rules. People have got the rest of their lives to get to know baby.

neverforgetyourdreams · 28/10/2021 23:12

@daisypond

Do people regularly do lateral flow tests? I’ve never done one. I’m double jabbed and had the booster jab, though. I’ve had a few PCR tests, though.
Me. Never done a LFT and not had a PCR either.
moita · 29/10/2021 07:51

I've got a three year old and four year old and my family and lots of my friends all test before we visit and have playdates.

I would test without needing to be asked as its such a quick thing to do.

YANBU.

DogCatRabbit · 29/10/2021 08:20

I would have done one without being asked. We do the same before we visit elderly grandparents. Anyone who gets the hump about doing something so sensible is an idiot and I wouldn't want them in my baby's life anyway.

DecadentlyDecisive · 29/10/2021 08:38

@godmum56

Its simple....your babe, your house, your decision. Visiting you and your new born is a privilege not a right.
GrinGrinGrin

A Privilege!

Love it....

YukoandHiro · 29/10/2021 08:42

Completely reasonable request - of course you should ask people.

Nobody should be visiting a newborn with any cold or illness symptoms at all anyway.

Notdoingthis · 29/10/2021 10:43

I'm sure people would be honest if there was a positive. Not sure they wouldn't say 'negative' and not do a test though.

SamuelWhiskey · 29/10/2021 11:07

I don't think it's a problem for anyone to do one - why not? Although as others have said it's probably more to stop the parents getting covid, your baby isn't at much risk but having covid with a newborn could be unpleasant.

I'd be more focused on asking people not to visit if they have cold symptoms though (although you'd hopefully expect this to be obvious to potential visitors!). Bronchiolitis is pretty rife at the moment and more of a problem to a baby than covid.