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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lateral flow testing before visiting my new baby

207 replies

Neleh91 · 28/10/2021 13:07

Hello, I’m thinking ahead I know but lots of people I know just seen to be getting covid recently.
My partner and I have decided that once baby is here ( due dec ) that if anyone wants to visit, we would ask them to do a home test first just to protect baby. My family and his would have NO issues with this but some of my friends are a bit strange about the vaccine.. testing etc.. I mentioned to one of them and she thinks it’s not fair to ask people to do that. Just wonders what everyone thinks? Is it too much.. I just feel like it’s safer for baby.

OP posts:
minervas1 · 28/10/2021 15:21

Totally up to you, I mean that 100%. I would do the same. BUT I do think it means you can’t be at all annoyed if people don’t come and meet your baby.

My friend is requiring masks and everyone to provide proof they’ve had the flu jab, which feels a bit over the top for healthy adults, and means lots of people aren’t going to meet her baby because they aren’t planning on paying for a flu jab to do so. She’s a bit annoyed about it, which I think is extremely out of order.

whatswithtodaytoday · 28/10/2021 15:23

Tbh, if there were a readily available home test for flu/RSV/various other illnesses, I would happily do that too. No-one wants to get ill when they have a newborn or have a sick baby, and Covid is incredibly prevalent at the moment.

Personally I wouldn't take a tiny baby to a restaurant either, though I understand some people think it's fine and of course the main risk is going to come from siblings in school/nursery, so that probably only applies to first-borns.

WitchesInTheWoods · 28/10/2021 15:23

I think it’s completely reasonable! My DD was born last year and all of my friends did lateral flow tests before coming to meet her. I didn’t even have to ask, they insisted.

beonetomatter · 28/10/2021 15:24

Absolutely fair! Not fair for the little one to catch infection

TiredMummyZZZ · 28/10/2021 15:32

Your baby your choice - I had a baby last May in the height of covid. I asked people to do tests before visiting, turns out my MIL has covid and was asymptotic, she only found out before I made everyone test.

If she hadn’t have tested she could have infected my baby with it, so I say ask people to test - if they’re not willing to do a test to see your baby then surely they’re not really friends. And congratulations 🥳

Vbree · 28/10/2021 15:33

Not being unreasonable at all. I'd be fine with it.

lap90 · 28/10/2021 15:34

Ultimately, it's up to you... you're free to make such requests; some will be fine like your parents, others are free to decline doing so and thus meet the baby next summer or something.

irrate · 28/10/2021 15:35

Yanbu at all.. my nephew had no symptoms and got a txt saying a friend of his tested positive that he was with 2 days before I gave him one of my spare LFT and he was positive.
If people don't test then people don't get to see baby...stand your ground.

Saoirse82 · 28/10/2021 15:36

@daisypond

I think it’s a bit odd, personally. I suspect people just won’t visit.
All the better then. It separates the ones who don't give a shit about your newborns health to the ones that do.
Spaghettipie1 · 28/10/2021 15:38

Yes, people should do this anyway before mixing, I'd have no issue with being asked.

misskatamari · 28/10/2021 15:40

Yanbu to ask at all. If they don’t want to that’s up to them, but honestly doing a LFT takes minutes, if they have a problem with it, I find that weird if anything!

daisypond · 28/10/2021 15:44

@Saoirse82
I don’t think you have read my comments. I am clinically vulnerable and have a shortened lifespan. I did not know that ordinary people - not healthcare - could get lateral flow tests unless for work reasons. I did not know they were free or easily available. I work full time and do not do LFTs. I do not know anyone who has had a LFT unless for work reasons. I am double vaccinated and had a booster. People visit me and do not take LFTs - because they don’t know either. Now I know that, I may suggest it. I’m sure the people who visit me do give a shit about my health. I give a shit about it too.

MumofSpud · 28/10/2021 15:48

My DS and DiL are due in December and I was planning on doing LFTs before visits - even if they do not say/ask / request.
Why not? It will give me peace of mind!

Disintegration1985 · 28/10/2021 15:56

I think it's wild that there are people saying they'd refuse. The tests are free, easy to pick up and literally take minutes. Whether you 'believe' in them, or whatever your views on covid, if it makes someone you care about feel better, why wouldn't you?

ParmigianoReggiano · 28/10/2021 15:59

I think it's reasonable to ask people.

grapewine · 28/10/2021 16:01

I don't trust LFTs so I'd just stay away if asked. Too many people have had negative tests and then positive PCR.

sageandbasil · 28/10/2021 16:04

I'm also due in December. I'm asking everyone to do a LFT before they come in the house and people who aren't vaccinated I'm asking to do a PCR and LFT. If they refuse they won't see the baby

Saoirse82 · 28/10/2021 16:06

[quote daisypond]@Saoirse82
I don’t think you have read my comments. I am clinically vulnerable and have a shortened lifespan. I did not know that ordinary people - not healthcare - could get lateral flow tests unless for work reasons. I did not know they were free or easily available. I work full time and do not do LFTs. I do not know anyone who has had a LFT unless for work reasons. I am double vaccinated and had a booster. People visit me and do not take LFTs - because they don’t know either. Now I know that, I may suggest it. I’m sure the people who visit me do give a shit about my health. I give a shit about it too.[/quote]
Apologies at @daisypond I wrote that before reading the full thread.

BeenHereForAges · 28/10/2021 16:07

I would have no issue with this. It's a great idea.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 28/10/2021 16:21

I’m due in December too. I haven’t asked people to do this but we will do, especially as DH’s family will be flying in. Well also be asking them not to visit if they don’t feel well and to wash hands, no kissing of the baby. For me the lateral flows are mostly for us as I don’t want even mild covid while trying to deal with a newborn. The other precautions will be for flu for us and baby. I’ve been vaccinated against covid and flu, so hopefully baby has some antibodies but surely most people would understand that newborns don’t really have an immune system, even outside of a pandemic.

I don’t know why anyone would have a problem with it, even without the newborn in the picture, as it’s just making sure you’re not spreading it asymptomatically. However, we’ve done a lateral flow test before we go into the office, before hospital appointments, before NCT classes. We’ve done lateral flows before meeting friends and family and most of our friends and family have done them before meeting us.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 28/10/2021 16:23

@daisypond

Where do you get these tests from? How much are they? I’m very vulnerable with chronic, life-shortening conditions, and work full time in an office, travel by public transport daily etc, am in and out of hospital, and no-one has suggested that people need LFTs while visiting me on my sickbed, where I currently am. It’s never occurred to me. I didn’t think they were for things like that. I’ve had two PCR tests - for hospital admission - and that’s it.
They are free. You can order them on the nhs website. I'm clinically extremely vulnerable and don't have anyone in my home who hasn't been vaccinated and who hasn't taken a lft beforehand, including carers and family
covetingthepreciousthings · 28/10/2021 16:27

I wouldn't have an issue with this, as i do them twice weekly here for work anyway.

If it were me I'd also ask people to avoid visiting if they had any cold / winter bug symptoms either.

PinkiOcelot · 28/10/2021 16:42

I wouldn’t have any problem doing this at all to visit a newborn baby. Not that I think LFTs are that accurate anyway though tbh.

Chessie678 · 28/10/2021 16:42

Wouldn’t personally ask people this and would take being asked as a sign that you don’t particularly want visitors though I’ve no particular objection to testing. I’m probably influenced by having had a baby during the first lockdown and really struggling with the isolation but I’m pregnant at the moment and will take my newborn out and meet people as normal. I do have a DS in nursery who brings bugs home all the time anyway though so the new baby will be exposed to stuff no matter what I do.

I don’t think there’s much rationale for being more worried about covid than anything else in the context of a newborn though.

bluebeck · 28/10/2021 16:45

YANBU

I am shocked anyone would think it's OK to visit a new baby without doing a test.

If they choose not to come rather than do an LFT it's really no loss is it?

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