Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lateral flow testing before visiting my new baby

207 replies

Neleh91 · 28/10/2021 13:07

Hello, I’m thinking ahead I know but lots of people I know just seen to be getting covid recently.
My partner and I have decided that once baby is here ( due dec ) that if anyone wants to visit, we would ask them to do a home test first just to protect baby. My family and his would have NO issues with this but some of my friends are a bit strange about the vaccine.. testing etc.. I mentioned to one of them and she thinks it’s not fair to ask people to do that. Just wonders what everyone thinks? Is it too much.. I just feel like it’s safer for baby.

OP posts:
Kite22 · 28/10/2021 16:54

Your baby, your choice, but I would take it as a sign you are being very very cautious and probably, in reality not wanting many visitors, so I probably wouldn't visit (I mean, unless you were my sister or something).
The lfts, are a comfort to some, but known to not be very accurate.
I am double jabbed and I wfh, I wear a mask if I need to go into shops etc, and consider myself pretty low risk. I don't think a lft would give any more guarantee that I didn't have it.
Ultimately it depends on what my relationship was with you and therefore how much I wanted to visit.

lavendon · 28/10/2021 17:08

I'm due in May and it's not something I'd ask visitors to do, but I'll be getting my booster in the second trimester so my baby will be born with antibodies anyway, and children under 12 are at very low risk generally.

I haven't visited any newborns during the pandemic, I'd do a test before visiting if asked to and wouldn't have any problems with that.

How will you be checking it? I've been asked to do tests before visiting venues but they only way they can check is if you register the LFT with the gov website, but anyone can just check the box saying it was a negative result (even if it was positive, or if they didn't even take the test at all).

DroopyClematis · 28/10/2021 17:09

Protect yourself and your baby.
Newborns are much more vulnerable as they haven't had the chance to build up their own immunity, they are relying on any immunity that you have passed on to them.

If visitors won't do a LFT then that's their problem and so shouldn't visit you or your baby in the early days.

purplesnowman · 28/10/2021 17:11

I would be happy to do this. My friend actually made me meet her in the garden and I had to see her baby through the patio door window as her dh held him up. I didn't care one bit was happy I got to see the baby and totally understand when your beautiful shiny new baby is so precious you do whatever you want to!

bunnybopbop · 28/10/2021 17:26

I have a lockdown baby. Ive also had a covid infected baby when she was 6 weeks old.
It floored me and DH, she had a cough for a few days and was fine. I would probably be more concerned being new parents of your health as having a newborn when you have covid is very, very hard.

I probably wouldn't ask people to do so, because they're so inaccurate. My parents have my 2 brothers at home and one of their girlfriends. All of them caught covid and only 2 showed up on a lateral flow. All positive PCRs.

Colds, coughs, RSV, any viruses / infections are horrible and covid is just in the mix of them all.

If lateral flows were reliable I would maybe ask while the baby is a few weeks old. A lot of it is common sense. If you feel poorly or think you're coming down with something, don't come!

But with lateral flows being so inaccurate, and anyone can be on the brink of a cold, cough, flu etc. I wouldn't ask. I wouldn't object if someone asked me to do one to see their new baby though, if I was asked to do one, I of course would.

Covid is everywhere and not going anywhere for a while. Someone doesn't have to hold your baby to pass it over. So you can catch in shops, cafes etc. The risk is smaller, but you still can.

We all caught covid from DH's step mum, she didn't make any physical contact with any of us and didn't hold the baby. Maybe if she did a lateral flow before it may have showed up. But from personal experience they're too flawed to take much notice of.

BetsyBigNose · 28/10/2021 18:00

@Chelyanne

They just won't come visit.

I've not asked this of anyone and most people have stayed away rather than meet our now 11wk old. People have dropped gifts at my parents house instead which I find odd.

That's really sad @Chelyanne - but congratulations on your new addition! It wouldn't be a problem for me or most people I know. I agree that deciding that taking a quick LFT is too much hassle if you want to see your friend/sister/neighbour/auntie's new baby is odd.

I'm CEV and spent most of the first year of the pandemic at home, not venturing anywhere. We were incredibly careful about everything and DH and I both received our first vaccines in Jan. Despite being 'double jabbed', when Covid swept our DDs' senior school in September and they brought it home with them, both DH and I became very unwell. I already have respiratory issues, so having Covid on top was one of the scariest 10 days of my life. We're both still suffering the effects a month later (although our DDs are both back to normal, thank goodness).

Our eldest DD is having a Halloween 'get together' (apparently it's not a party...) with a few friends at ours this weekend and she was the first to suggest they all did LFTs the morning of, to be on the safe side. Her friends (aged 14/15) have all happily agreed. I find it odd that children are quite happy to do LFTs (in fact, we've been asked by school to do them daily for our Yr8 and Yr10 DC), whereas some adults are reluctant despite the danger it could pose to a newborn.

I wouldn't let anyone who hadn't had a negative LFT that day visit my newborn either, I think you're quite right OP; your baby - your rules!

Em45634 · 28/10/2021 18:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

djt87 · 28/10/2021 18:50

Our baby arrived in august and we asked everyone to do so. No one had a problem and to be honest if they did then they must not want to see the baby badly enough and they'll just have to wait until you are ready and baby is a bit older.

Dandymax1 · 28/10/2021 18:55

I tested my household without a request before visiting my best friend baby back in March. I have school aged kids but even if I didn't, I still would have done it. I'd never forgive myself if baby caught something from me. So yanbu.

Notdoingthis · 28/10/2021 18:57

Are you going to ask to.see the results?

Cantthinkofaname21 · 28/10/2021 18:58

We already as a family do this before meeting up (we all live far away from each other)

We all risk asses I work in London often travelling on public transport, only two of us can WFH the rest all have jobs (warehouse/visiting families) so we all aware we have contact with lots of people.
I can’t imagine being offended with doing a LFT if a friend asked? Such a simple thing to do.

JMKid · 28/10/2021 19:02

I think it's very OTT and unnecessary. You could pick it up yourself from going out shopping. Are you going to ask them for actual evidence as well???

poweredbyplants · 28/10/2021 19:06

YANBU
I'm due mid-November and planning on doing the same.

PiesNotGuys · 28/10/2021 19:08

I’m not familiar with doing covid tests, lateral flows or official ones, our household hasn’t had any symptoms of illness during the pandemic thankfully so we don’t have any experience of testing. If you asked this of me I’d be happy to look into testing but I would need to find out where and how to get tests, get them, and carry them out/learn the process, I’m assuming on my whole family. Which I’m not imagining to be a particularly onerous process as I know many people do them, but it would be a learning curve, and it might be tricky on the younger children, as I’ve heard friends children disliked the testing.

None of that is particularly a problem especially for a close friend or family member but its a fair amount of processes to get through to get to the end result and I can see how it might reduce your number of visitors. That may be the aim of course! I’m assuming to someone doing testing daily they wouldn’t bat an eyelid but to those who haven’t been through the testing process before it’s a bit more of an ask.

shylatte · 28/10/2021 19:18

Your bubz your rulz hun, but you as a pregnant mother in the last trimester are at much higher risk than a newborn. Are you asking people to do a test before visiting you?

NellieBertram · 28/10/2021 19:29

@JMKid

I think it's very OTT and unnecessary. You could pick it up yourself from going out shopping. Are you going to ask them for actual evidence as well???
Do you usually cuddle and kiss people when you go shopping? If you had to worry about someone lying about their results to the point you needed to ask for the evidence, surely you wouldn't invite them to meet your newborn at all Hmm

I really don't get the argument that "babies are at a low risk of dying from covid" so therefore it's fine to risk infecting a newborn with a potentially nasty respiratory infection.
Surely most people would do what they could to avoid making a newborn baby sick, even if they are unlikely to be hospitalised or die?
My mum didn't visit one of my newborns for a week (pre-covid) because she had a cold and didn't want to risk giving it to him. I had assumed most people felt the same way about newborn babies but apparently not!

FETOCT2021 · 28/10/2021 19:29

Totally fine. I would not dream of visiting a newborn without doing one.

snackess · 28/10/2021 19:29

Think this is entirely reasonable. I'm pretty relaxed about covid. I'm not at risk, double vaccinated and testing regularly for work. I've worked throughout pandemic and not too bothered about it all.

Absolutely wouldn't want my newborn to get it though and would be asking the same.

If they don't like it they don't have to visit

FETOCT2021 · 28/10/2021 19:31

@PiesNotGuys it’s ridiculously easy to obtain free lateral flow tests for your local pharmacy. It’s also a very easy test to take.

Dangermouse80 · 28/10/2021 19:31

It is a simple request. We always do a LFT test before visiting grandparents. True friends would have no issue with this.

PinkBuffalo · 28/10/2021 19:32

If I was your friend I would be more than Happy to do this
I already have to test when I see my mum (nursing home) and I tested when I see my sister the other day as well cos I not want to pass anything onto her cos she is unwell.
I would have thought most people would be happy with that

Tigger85 · 28/10/2021 19:33

I'm due in early Jan and will be asking visitors to do lfts until our baby is atleast a few weeks old. My works policy is currently for pregnant women to shield from 28 weeks which I am currently doing and also asking visitors to do lfts now. I am quite happy to not have visitors at all tbh.

TakeMe2Insanity · 28/10/2021 19:37

I’d happily do it I was visiting a baby or someone asked me

scarpa · 28/10/2021 19:37

I do an LFT if I'm visiting my friend with a 6 month old baby, or my aunty with lots of health conditions. I know they're nowhere near completely accurate but it's a bit of extra caution.

If your friends don't care if they catch covid, that's up to them. Plenty of people don't now. But your newborn doesn't get the option to wear a mask or distance themselves, so you're using the available resources to reduce the risk. They either follow your rules with your baby - like how plenty of new mums don't allow smokers nearby, etc - or they don't visit.

If not taking a test is more important to them than seeing your baby, then you know where you stand with them.

MilduraS · 28/10/2021 19:37

I'd do it out of courtesy anyway. More people I know have had covid in the last couple of months than throughout the entire pandemic. Thankfully all mild but no need to risk it around a newborn.