@Ciaobaby92
The only thing that's racist is the belief that being called black is a negative thing when it's not. I personally believe black is beautiful. I think the real issue is you need to be comfortable in your own skin.
This. I'm not black, but I have no issues with people trying to identify me based on my non-white appearance, because it is how I look, and I'm not ashamed to be Chinese. It makes me me.
I will admit the term Asian gets my back up, unless it's uttered by an American (in which case, I know it's meant correctly), but I'm happiest with Chinese and I'll accept East Asian (it's easier than narrowing down which type of East Asian if you don't have a lot of experience in being around different ethnicities). I'm not fond of BAME because it makes me feel othered, but fine, I know it really just means non-white and some white people have a problem with saying non-white because they worry they'll offend someone.
I will accept being called the wrong type of East Asian if there was no malice involved. As other posters have said, it's not necessarily a big deal, you just calmly and quietly correct the person and move on. As long as they move on with you, no harm done.
I went to a very white school. There were no other Chinese people. If someone with a similar background thought I was Korean, of course I'd forgive them instantly, because how would they know better? They haven't had exposure to diversity and by meeting me, they're starting to widen their world. If I shout at them about getting things wrong, that just makes them less inclined to talk to people who don't look like them.
As I've said before, and I will say again as the OP hasn't acknowledged this and I think it's a point worth making: if you have lived experience of racism, it's very easy to tell the difference between someone with malicious intent and someone trying their best. And if you don't have lived experience of racism, you're bloody lucky.
People describing me by the colour of my skin or the shape of my eyes to differentiate me from a bunch of white people in a predominantly white environment is no big deal.
I mean, I'd rather be the Chinese lady with the short hair than the fat one. As far as factual descriptors go, there are far worse ones than ethnicity!
As far as colours go: yeah, I do use the colour yellow personally. But that's in the context of me reclaiming the word, and I wouldn't really accept it from anyone who wasn't East Asian. Asian at a push. For some reason, white and black have no negative connotations in this country, but both yellow and brown do. I know plenty of Indians who are trying to reclaim brown. We don't typically share our colours - they don't typically call me yellow, and I don't typically call them brown. Although we have a similar fight in some ways, it's still not the same one, and it's more respectful to keep our own colour reclamation projects separate.
But Chinese? East Asian? Not offensive in the slightest. You can all use my race to describe me without causing offence to any reasonable person.