Stop teaching child that it’s okay to refer to someone’s skin colour

[CannotThinkOfName]

Calling someone - a random person you don’t know - black is racist. I don’t care if your personal friend or your family member or someone else you’re close to doesn’t mind being referred to like this because they’re speaking for themselves as individuals.

Pointing out someone by skin colour is rude at best and at worst a form of racism. This is because

1. Skin colour that I was born with is brown.
2. Skin colour that I was born with does not define anyone. It doesn’t define your traits, characteristics, hobbies, goals, ambitions or anything else that truly defines who a person is.
3. It’s a form of racial harassment to start bothering someone at random and bringing up their race and colour for no real reason and singling them out by it.

I’ve seen people say there’s nothing wrong with their child referring to people by skin because they are just “saying what they see”. This is wrong because as a child, I never ever saw myself as “black” or described myself “black”. This is taught as a way to refer to people, it’s not simply a child “saying what they see”.

Please stop teaching your child that it’s okay to refer to people that you don’t know this way. If you do know someone and they’ve told you to call them black then that’s their choice as an individual. They don’t speak for anyone else but themselves.

If you don’t know someone’s name, - just ask them what their name is and call them by their actual name. Not “that black girl” or “the black woman” or “that black lady”.

@SprayedWithDettol

I agree with your position OP. By saying ‘the black lady’ suggests that the standard is white and the person being discussed deviates from the standard. I don’t ever hear the ‘white lady’ as a descriptor. I am white and I think it is racist.

I suspect it depends on the area you live and the people who you are around

My father grew up in an ethically diverse neighbourhood - he said his family were the only white family on the street, so he was 'the little white boy' (the big white boy was his brother)

The only thing that's racist is the belief that being called black is a negative thing when it's not. I personally believe black is beautiful. I think the real issue is you need to be comfortable in your own skin.

I think that is true @alexdgr8 but Americans do seem to cling to the smallest amount of Irish identity and extrapolate from it.

When I lived in Mexico my dc were the non Latino dc at school and were often described as white as were DH and I. Not because people were being racist but because it was a clear physical difference.

I have however come across people who objected to the term black before so I am aware that some people find it a problematic term.

Thanks to everyone who commented on this thread though. Clearly there is a wide variety of viewpoints here so

OP I do actually feel I learnt something on this thread, so thank you. I do think the words we use are very important. I’m an English teacher, so I’ve very little patience with the ‘It’s just a word’ retort because I’ve heard it so many times from lazy teenagers… Very few words are ‘just words’.

@Carrotsandbroccoli

OP I do actually feel I learnt something on this thread, so thank you. I do think the words we use are very important. I’m an English teacher, so I’ve very little patience with the ‘It’s just a word’ retort because I’ve heard it so many times from lazy teenagers… Very few words are ‘just words’.

I agree. It's been a good thread, regardless. I'm glad MNHQ let the thread stand. People just run to report threads for no reason instead of either engaging reasonably or hiding the threads so others who wish to engage will do so.

[quote mustlovegin]While recognizing that racial conceptualizations had a real impact the ultimate goal was to deconstruct them

You cannot whimsically 'deconstruct' elements of reality to suit a rhetoric.

Some scientists believe race (or ethnicities) can be tracked down to genes, hence does exist , who are those who believe it doesn't?

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4170574/[/quote]
Race and ethnicity are not the same thing. A black man from Ethiopia and a black man from the Kalahari desert and a black man from Boston are all the same race, but certainly not the same ethnicity and may be as different genetically as any one of them is from a person of Scottish ethnicity.

Grouping them all together makes no particular sense. So yes, it's quite possible to deconstruct that. Many societies in the past didn't have a construct of race like that.

Yes, exactly this. LobsterNapkin

I agree. It's been a good thread, regardless. I'm glad MNHQ let the thread stand. People just run to report threads for no reason instead of either engaging reasonably or hiding the threads so others who wish to engage will do so.

Was there a threat of that? I admit the thread went a lot better than I thought it would which is quite nice. Maybe there is some hope after all..

Huh? Should I also avoid saying someone has blonde hair or is tall? It’s a physical feature. There are no negative (or positive) connotations. It’s just describing someone.

Was there a threat of that?

Yes there was. I assume it got quieter once the reports were in but nothing came of it (rightly so), and a couple or so of troll hunting posts here were removed too.

Many societies in the past didn't have a construct of race like that

Which ones and in what context?

It's very evident how think tanks/academia go to great lengths to develop theories to erode or challenge reality or science nowadays, and this is no exception

I'm mainly interested in the medical aspect when people proclaim that 'race does not exist', just to be clear

Hi, OP.

I think I (kind of) get what you're saying? Is it because we are described by our colour, rather than our race?

For instance, if you were on about a Chinese or Spanish or Indian person, you wouldn't, necessarily, use their skin colour as the main descriptor?

If I'm way off the mark, I apologise.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose I think if some people wish to call the OP a troll on a thread, the OP has the right to defend herself here (OP shouldn't have reported the thread but I doubt that it will be taken down. Few posts about the OP, may be but not the thread itself).

The thing is a few people on that thread have said basically what the OP is saying here so I'm not sure why the OP is getting some people's backs up...is it because it's posted on the main board and not there? Not everyone wants to be relegated to one board in order to talk about things. Some people are fine doing it anywhere it pops up. It surely doesn't make someone a troll. I think it's just bizarre.

Also, the OP never said she doesn't approve of the bmn board, she actually said the opposite. So that's a false statement but it's what happens when someone reads a word or sentence, refuses to read further and wants to shut down the conversation.

[quote SrownBkinGirl]@AccidentallyOnPurpose I think if some people wish to call the OP a troll on a thread, the OP has the right to defend herself here (OP shouldn't have reported the thread but I doubt that it will be taken down. Few posts about the OP, may be but not the thread itself).

The thing is a few people on that thread have said basically what the OP is saying here so I'm not sure why the OP is getting some people's backs up...is it because it's posted on the main board and not there? Not everyone wants to be relegated to one board in order to talk about things. Some people are fine doing it anywhere it pops up. It surely doesn't make someone a troll. I think it's just bizarre.

Also, the OP never said she doesn't approve of the bmn board, she actually said the opposite. So that's a false statement but it's what happens when someone reads a word or sentence, refuses to read further and wants to shut down the conversation.[/quote]
Because she still hasn't offered an alternative.

She asked us to stop using black.
She said that anyone using black is racist.
She still hasn't said what she would prefer or be more appropriate besides her name.
Oh and she referred to black people(when talking as a collective) as black, and that's suddenly ok?

Also if i started a thread that prompted a very interesting and nice/respectful discussion on FWR board for example and then a day later someone showed up on AIBU and said "stop using x or you're all mysoginistic and sexist" I (and other posters) would probably question the motives of that someone.

Maybe I'm more cynical than most.