Why aren’t you obese?

[Spottyphonecase24]

A bit of a weird one but I have just got off a zoom call with my therapist. We were talking about my weight (I am obese).

Why isn’t everyone else obese? What stops you? I don’t seem to have an off button. I remember going from a 10 to a 12 and thinking that’s it I’m not going to get any bigger but I did and now I am in a size 24 and they are getting a bit tight. I’ve read lots about how people have their light bulb moment to lose weight and that has not happened to me, or maybe it has and I’ve ignored it.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I honestly don’t know the reasons why people don’t eat more. Is it will power, feeling full?

Thank you OP for asking this question. I've often wondered the same myself but couldn't articulate it enough to make sense!

@Spottyphonecase24

A bit of a weird one but I have just got off a zoom call with my therapist. We were talking about my weight (I am obese).

Why isn’t everyone else obese? What stops you? I don’t seem to have an off button. I remember going from a 10 to a 12 and thinking that’s it I’m not going to get any bigger but I did and now I am in a size 24 and they are getting a bit tight. I’ve read lots about how people have their light bulb moment to lose weight and that has not happened to me, or maybe it has and I’ve ignored it.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I honestly don’t know the reasons why people don’t eat more. Is it will power, feeling full?

I’m lucky as eat lots but stay slim… I know, really unfair. But what would stop me would be worrying about my health… surely you must think at a size 24 I am very likely to have a stroke or heart attack?! Doesn’t that scare you?

I know when I eat a lot I will feel rubbish after.
I know I feel healthier when I eat good food.
If I can’t be bothered to exercise I remember how much happier I feel when I do.
Ultimately, I think what motivates to make changes whenever I slip into bad habits is that I like and care about my body so I don’t feel disgusted with myself when I make bad choices which would probably lead to worse ones, instead it motivates me to get back on track and make healthier ones.

I would, and do, eat a lasagne with garlic bread and dessert, but I still wouldn’t become fat. I don’t think about calories or carbohydrates at all. I have never been on a diet. However, I find it very easy to skip a meal if I’m busy or preoccupied and just not notice.

What stops me is getting a sick feeling. I could eat a large bar of Dairy Milk and a whole pizza and half a stick of garlic bread in one sitting probably (OK definitely ) but afterwards I would feel over-full, uncomfortable, a bit sick and also guilty about the junk I have put into my body. I imagine it all chewed and mushed up together in my stomach and think about how all the fat will be making its way to my arteries, all the crap my liver and kidneys are having to deal with and how much my brain and skin would have liked some nutritious vitamins!
I wouldn’t have another pig-out like that for a while, because I’d remember the sick feeling. Eventually I probably would do it again, in another couple of months when I have a “oh what the heck I need a treat” moment, but not often enough to become obsese.

Same as @BlibBlabBlob, intermittent fasting because I have zero self control. At the minute I eat my evening meal and that is it, generally try and get plenty veg in it and the cals in the 700 range. I drink milk in my coffee all day though. I feel hungry sometimes but I've come to enjoy the feeling a bit now.

I've had a few weeks here and there off the wagon since Feb (sausage roll, pizza slice and 4 doughnuts in one sitting was a low point, see complete lack of self control) but I've lost 75lb so far this year.

Exercise. And balance - so if I eat a load one day or one weekend, I'll cut back the next day/week.

I also don't like feeling uncomfortably full, so although I'll sometimes eat too much of the wrong foods (i.e. high calorie) I don't generally eat till I'm so stuffed it feels uncomfortable.

I'll eat the large chocolate bar or full tub of ice cream, but I just won't do it regularly.

I generally eat fairly balanced meals, go out for a casual walk on lunchtimes etc.

I also find that drinking pints of water with a meal will make you feel full for longer.

Snacking on water-based fruits makes a big difference too. They fulfil that sweet craving and fill you up while consuming very few calories.

I must admit though that I've never been obese and I think it's much easier to maintain your weight than it is to lose it.

I eat real unprocessed whole foods which are hard to overdose on as you would have to eat ginormous amounts. And I simply don’t have sugary or processed foods in the house. If you stick to those principles it is pretty hard to get very overweight.

OP, I am partial to what I secretly call ‘bad food’, especially when I am busy, tired, pre-menstrual or my MH isn’t good. I love sugar and sometimes crave beige and processed foods.

However, when I eat a lot of that stuff, I start to feel physically shit. I don’t sleep well, I feel sluggish and anxious, bowel movements aren’t good! When I start eating better again, I feel much better- and it happens pretty quickly. Much quicker than you might expect (any weight loss obviously takes longer).
When I was younger, it was different- I could get away with eating crap as it didn’t really seem to affect how I felt physically. Now I’m 44 and my body is much more sensitive to substances such as sugar and alcohol.

I find that if I have a week with too much processed stuff, I start to crave green foods, tomatoes, chickpeas, avocados etc so I adjust my diet accordingly.

I am very much a work in progress in this respect. I haven’t yet found the balance that I would like to achieve. In the meantime, I’m not obese because I exercise 8-10 hours a week and don’t sit down very often.

I am planning to hugely cut down on sugar (currently on holiday so this will start after the holiday!). I know it’s going to be incredibly difficult because I am truly addicted. But what is motivating me is knowing how much better I will feel physically.

I just don't want to eat any more once i'm full. I wouldn't enjoy continuing and it actually makes me feel physically uncomfortable.

I don’t eat those things because I don’t crave processed sugar. I used to crave when I ate processed foods, but as soon as I cut them out I lost all desire to eat them.
People assume I’m missing out, but you can’t be missing out on something you don’t want.

This being the case, I don’t have to use any willpower and it’s easy to not eat those things because they’re no longer on my radar.

If you quit processed sugar (and don’t replace with artificial sweeteners) then after the first week (which is probably going to be shit), you’ll find the inherent desire to eat a box of donuts or a giant bag of Maltese’s will diminish.

There is nothing wrong with you. Your off switch is permanently on because processed food is the food version of a Venus fly trap. Once you’re in, it’s designed to keep you in by fucking up your hormones, keeping you hungry, keeping you craving for more.

The other thing that helps is not eating too quickly - and if I do, waiting a while before having seconds or pudding, to see if I'm actually full.

We eat as a family, and I either clear up and clean the kitchen after dinner or play with DS so I have time to start to digest my meal - then if I'm still hungry after DS is asleep I'll have a snack.

@Seaswell

I listened to an interview with Zoe Harcombe where she talked about carb addiction. Unlike with drugs/smoking/ drinking you can't just give up food. But she pointed out how when we binge, it's rarely on vegetables or eggs or meat/fish- they just aren't addictive in the way that carby/sugary foods are. So my answer to my own addiction was to go cold turkey on everything but meat/fish/eggs/ veg (except potatoes and beans) Even fruit is considered a 'gateway drug' to someone addicted to sugar. It took less than a week to lose the cravings (felt like shite for a few days mind!) I simply can't have just a bit of anything like bread or sweets or ice cream - like you I'm all or nothing.

I fall off the wagon every now and again but I know how to get back on it now.

I have done exactly the same thing and it's so much easier as I have no ability to limit carbs once I get going

I crave chocolate desperately and i'd love to have take aways every night. I calorie count using an app, I plan my day and won't eat more than that because I want the long term, delayed gratification of feeling slim, fit and healthy. I have small amounts of chocolate in the day, like tiny, 16 calories a piece. That gives me a flavour.

Stuffing my face doesn't actually make me feel better, even though i think it will make me happy beforehand. It actually makes me feel 10 times worse.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I just couldn’t eat a tub of ice cream. Part of it is quite severe emetophobia (fear of nausea and vomiting) so while I’m fine being full, I really hate the feeling of being over full. So I’d happily eat a bowl of ice cream, I would get no enjoyment out of eating more than that because it would cause discomfort and I’d worry it would make me sick (I think even without the fear of vomiting I just wouldn’t want to make myself uncomfortably full though). I know it’s not the healthiest relationship that I have with food, but it’s an obvious factor in why I am not obese - I am actually underweight but that predates the emetophobia so I think I’m naturally skinny, but that is then compounded by issues around food.

1. Good genes

1. I grew up on zero processed food. Was just not a thing where I'm from when I was little.

So even though I love food and have poor self control (I'm a 10/12 but should be an 8) I just dislike proessed, fatty, sugary food Things that I read here that people enjoy I find disgusting, like M&S ready meals for example. So that means I eat only mostly non processed good food.

1. Never ever eat after dinner and have breakfast lateish so have a decent fasting period at night. Not so long that it feels like I'm missing a meal but at least 12-13hours

I think a lot of it is just making a conscious decision to chose the healthier option. Stopping when full, not eating out of boredom or dehydration. I also regularly run in my evenings/mornings to get some exercise in. You know what the healthy decisions are. If you're not used to making the healthy choices even if you know what they are then I think it's about utilising your will power until it's ingrained in your lifestyle.

Ive been struggling because the medication Im on means that Im always starving hungry whatever and whenever I eat ! Its really horrible as Ive always got hunger pains.

If I’ve put on weight I rein back by eating smaller portions, avoiding sugary and processed food and cutting out alcohol. I also slow down my eating and chew my food more.

I could easily become obese. I love lasagne, garlic bread, cheese, chips etc. I limit myself to very few carbs, and make my own tagliatelle with Einkorn flour, which is better for me than normal flour as it doesn't spike blood sugar.
Often, when I think I'm hungry, I drink sparkling water that I make myself with a soda stream, and that is often enough to stop the cravings.

I don’t need willpower around food. It’s just an alien concept to me. If I want something, I’ll eat it - hence I’ll eat a big bar of chocolate. I’ll have chocolate most days. I never restrain myself and think I shouldn’t or mustn’t eat this or that. I can’t get my head around that. However, I do think I’m not very interested in food. Maybe that makes a difference.

Vanity, I don't want to be fat. I look way better thin and the thinner the better
I do eat a lot and loads of rubbish too but I don't eat before lunch and I often will have a small dinner so I can have more treats afterwards (so not healthy)

I think what helps too is that I used to be v good looking and don't want to "lose it" entirely.

Sadly I am obese. All these things people are saying about what they do/don't do obviously come easily to them. I find it IMPOSSIBLE. It's such a compulsion to eat.