Why aren’t you obese?

[Spottyphonecase24]

A bit of a weird one but I have just got off a zoom call with my therapist. We were talking about my weight (I am obese).

Why isn’t everyone else obese? What stops you? I don’t seem to have an off button. I remember going from a 10 to a 12 and thinking that’s it I’m not going to get any bigger but I did and now I am in a size 24 and they are getting a bit tight. I’ve read lots about how people have their light bulb moment to lose weight and that has not happened to me, or maybe it has and I’ve ignored it.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I honestly don’t know the reasons why people don’t eat more. Is it will power, feeling full?

I too never have any junk food in the house. I simply don't buy it or ever eat it. I also exercise a lot and find the slimmer I am the happier I am.

I don't buy into being skinny as in middle age it's not a good look but I do like being slim and toned, more than I like eating junk

For me a lot of it is a case of "out of sight, out of mind". I don't keep junk in the house as a rule, however, this rule has been bent in recent years because of Covid and scarcity of resources.

But when I do buy junk I try to get stuff which is pre portioned. So it's very easy for me to eat a tub of Ben and Jerry's; I don't like doing dishes so I'm unlikely to scoop out a portion. Therefore, I buy Magnum or a flake, so that I only eat that one portion instead of an entire pot.

Similarly, I will not buy a large chocolate bar, but I will but a multipack of smaller things.

Some things are just out of bounds except for special occasions or eating out: alcohol, fizzy drinks mainly.

I personally have an oral fixation, so I keep my mouth "busy" with a pomegranate or something equally fussy to eat as a snack/dessert. It's delicious, low in calories, and keeps me occupied for at least 20 minutes.

The other thing is having a set of simple go-to meals for dinner. Simple, healthy ish things like tuna pasta, an omelette, or rice and veggie sausages with broccoli. This reduces the likelihood of ordering takeaway. Follow the recommended portion guidelines, even though I think 70g of pasta is small and 50g of granola is a joke. I do use blue milk though, which helps.

Also, endless cups of hot beverages: black coffee in the morning, earl grey tea in the afternoon and herbal teas in the late afternoon/evening.

Going for a walk after dinner, before the food coma kicks in, is also good for you.

Another emotional over eater here , I do understand OP . I would agree with the PP , in that I don't buy crisps , biscuits, cake as I cannot trust myself . I'm a size 22 and curse my bad choices when it comes to buying clothes , as I always feel like a frump .

I think it's because I was brought up on three home cooked meals and no snacking.

Sometimes I was given sweets at birthday or Christmas, but never bought sweets just because, so they had to last. These habits have stayed with me.

More lately, I seem to have acquired a group of very active friends. So, for example, I've been out for breakfast today (the works) but we cycled 20 miles to get there! Moat of my social things now will include a run/walk/cycle or even a trampoline park, even if we end up in the pub or at a cake shop after.

I cook from scratch and don't overeat (I stop when I feel full). I limit sugary foods to small amounts and not every day. I don't eat after my evening meal, so I fast for around twelve hours.

Good luck Op.

I really like vegetables. I can eat them to excess and not gain weight.

When I snack I eat really rich-tasting foods like a few squares of 75% dark chocolate.

I don't have particularly good willpower, I just don't keep crap food in the house generally and have plenty of healthier snacks available - fruit, coconut yoghurt, nuts around the place.

I doubt this is normal but I feel guilty every time I eat and feel I shouldn’t be eating.
I know I can’t have any bad stuff in the house because I will just eat it.

It's a very good question...

I used to be able to eat whatever I liked until my late 30s, but whether I naturally ate in a way that kept my weight down I don't know.
Maybe not, given that it has changed and now I watch things a bit more and it's a conscious effort. I have a zone where I feel comfortable and don't want to go heavier, though that zone is about 7lb more than I'd like. Once I get to the upper end and struggling to squeeze into my jeans, I become more careful about what I eat.

I would feel sick eating a while tub of ice-cream and my taste buds seem to have changed away from sweet things to more savoury ..

One of the things I do is I tend to think about the value something is giving me. If I have one bowl of ice cream, will i enjoy the second as much as the first? Probably not what's the point? I might as well have the second bowl another time and enjoy it like I did the first.

Otherwise...exercise. I like food so if I want to eat an extra 300 calories I need to do that much movement. I don't watch it over the course of a day but in a week i will try to get some walking and other exercise in.

I try to make low calorie but filling choices some of the time so that I can have a cake with my coffee when I feel like it. I tend to eat more complex carbs, veg and protein (rather than pasta and sugar) and don't worry about eating fatty things.

My fear of being overweight and the health implications that can cause is greater than my want for food. I love food but eat within my calories to lose/maintain. I have family members who have obese related health iasues that don't look fun especially as they get older!
I want to do everything i can to be as healthy and fit as possible for my dc.

I dont really like eating.
For years of my life Ive just eaten as a necessary function of life. Im a bit better now but no foodie.
I dont buy that much food compared to most. Im not very fond of supermarkets and tend to ration.
I love saving money on food and feel a bit sick when I hear what most people spend weekly. Their £300 per week is too much imo.
Ive never been a foodie and while I go to restaurants quite regularly I dont lurve it like my friends. If anything I resent splitting the bill and would prefer to go to pub.
In a typical day I eat cereal with full fat milk, (sometimes do without this.) Lunch is cheese on toast/ omelette / homemade sandwich, fruit.
Dinner eg spag bol.
Sometimes in evening some choc - 2 or 3 roses type sweet chocs or a couple of biscuits.
Lots of cups of decaff tea, no sugar.

I dont eat between meals. It gives me no pleasure. I get pleasure and breaks, from cups of tea, or walks, or MN! :)

5'4, 9 stone.

I love food but don't have a huge appetite so don't often overeat. When I am tempted, I try to tell myself that a small slice of cake tastes the same as a large slice and mostly that works for me. Sometimes if I am hungry, I will have the large slice but don't worry about it too much.

Very interesting thread op...I have a similar mindset to you in a way. If I'm enjoying food I see no reason to stop unless I'm full to the point of feeling sick. I do stop myself at some point as I don't want to be fatter than I am now. I'm a size 14-16 and that is through sheer willpower

The only reason I’m not obese is because I don’t want to be obese. I could easily eat a family pack of crisps and a tray of doughnuts, but I don’t, because I don’t want to be obese. My desire to be slim overrides my desire to eat the things that I know will make me fat.
I don’t find this easy. It’s a struggle.

I have good days and bad days. My DH and DS have high metabolisms and sadly there are crisps / chocolate biscuits etc in the house. I have learned that i cannot eat one biscuit etc so best not to start. I am overweight an am trying to make healthier choices because I feel like shit when I over-indulge in sugary crap, and feel full of energy when I eat more fruit, veg and more nutritious meals rather than snacking. I hate feeling so full I feel sick

Interrobanger I wonder would you be able to signpost how someone who is morbidly obese can access specialist help?
We've tried GP, who are finally providing access to a mental health practictioner, but that is only 20 mins pw for 6 weeks, and is not an individual programme or a qualified counsellor/therapist.
My adult son is desperate for help, but it's actually really hard to find someone who specialises in overeating rather than anorexia/bulimia.

Because I really want to look and feel good. At 5ft 4, anything over a 12 (on me) doesn't look good and doesn't feel good.

I've got one life, I don't want to spend it feeling lethargic, having bad skin and not being able to wear lovely clothes.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I can't physically manage a whole tub of ice cream, I'm not fussed about eating chocolate so I don't buy it, and I'm not in the habit of eating crisps.

I eat three meals a day, and don't tend to snack.

Like others, if it isn't in the house I'm not tempted to eat it, and we don't live near any shops.

I also don’t really eat breakfast and only eat in the morning when I get hungry.

@ThePoisonousMushroom

The only reason I’m not obese is because I don’t want to be obese. I could easily eat a family pack of crisps and a tray of doughnuts, but I don’t, because I don’t want to be obese. My desire to be slim overrides my desire to eat the things that I know will make me fat. I don’t find this easy. It’s a struggle.

I promise obese people don't want to be

That’s another thing - people talk about “cravings”. I don’t understand that. Nor do I understand why people want to limit carbs. Probably much of my food is carbs - bread, pasta, potatoes etc - all eaten all the time. But I still won’t gain weight. I don’t drink alcohol- maybe that makes a difference. I don’t eat takeaways ever or have microwave or oven-ready meals. Maybe that makes a difference too.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

Because I don't want to eat that much. I couldn't eat that much without feeling ill, and too much of those foods make me feel rubbish anyway.

And, on a general level, I don't want to put on weight so I see those foods as an occasional treat.

Ultimately, for me at least, it is a choice.

If I eat breakfast, I’m eating for the whole day then so I try to wait until I am hungry to eat in the morning.

Mine's a bit of a weird one, but it's the same reason I gave up smoking in my mid-twenties: I get really anxious that I'm going to have a heart attack.

I have a real sweet tooth and I love sugary, carby food (not exclusively, I have an otherwise healthy diet!) but if I've eaten too much, the full/sick feeling makes me anxious and I feel like my heart is about to stop. Same thing when I smoked - I lived at the top of a very steep hill and I regularly thought I was going to keel over on my way home from work. Turns out that fear of imminent, premature death is quite a good motivator for behaviour change..!

Not sure health anxiety and general neuroticism is a normal way to stay physically healthy, but it's worked for me so far 😂

I honestly don't know - I presume I have an 'off switch'?

I like food, I like cooking, I like cooking for other people and eating with them, but I never 'crave' food: I guess I have always mostly seen food as fuel.

I don't like sweet food or alcohol at all - I eat cake about twice a year, and when I do, it'll be a piece a couple of inches square. I think sweet cocktails, Bailey's etc are vile.

It's not that I'm massively self-disciplined - I'm baffled by the concept of left-over wine, for example! - but I just don't feel that way about food.

I eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm full, and if I'm not hungry, I don't eat.

@Spottyphonecase24

Thank you for replying. So do you not crave it at all? Have you always been like this or is it willpower?

Basically I do think it s a combination of genes and will power. But you said you were a size 10, so I don't think this is just your genes.

In terms of craving, its a case of getting rid of them. I went through a patch where I got in the habit of having a choccie bar each evening when I sat and watched tele. Its breaking that habit though. It was actually really hard at first when I realised as soon as I sat down I needed that chocolate bar. So it took a couple of days of real willpower to get out of the habit. And after about 3 days I didn't crave the chocolate anymore, at any time.

If however I give in and have a bar then the next few days see me wanting one each day until I lose the craving again.

I don't buy anything in that I'd consider snacky now. Except the odd time at xmas for the kids and I just simply don't eat it except the very rare occasion. And because of this I don't crave it. I went from a 14 to an 8 by just cutting out snacks and eating generally healthily each day and cutting down my portions a bit. And by doing that I think my stomach shrunk a little each day and I was getting full on much less food than I was previously eating. I still have the odd pig out but it doesn't matter as its only very occasionally.

Its changing your habits. I think thats the key thing. Once you've done that for a few days it gets so much easier as you start to lose the cravings for those things.