Why aren’t you obese?

[Spottyphonecase24]

A bit of a weird one but I have just got off a zoom call with my therapist. We were talking about my weight (I am obese).

Why isn’t everyone else obese? What stops you? I don’t seem to have an off button. I remember going from a 10 to a 12 and thinking that’s it I’m not going to get any bigger but I did and now I am in a size 24 and they are getting a bit tight. I’ve read lots about how people have their light bulb moment to lose weight and that has not happened to me, or maybe it has and I’ve ignored it.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I honestly don’t know the reasons why people don’t eat more. Is it will power, feeling full?

@beingsunny well done on your loss, that's brilliant!

I have zero desire to eat a tub of icecream or a family bag of crisps. Sounds like torture to me. I would feel so unwell. A couple of scoops of icecream is ideal. I had a normal sized bag of walker's crisps yesterday and regretted it as I felt a bit sick afterwards and I knew it hadn't done me any good.

Some people are less interested in food than others.
Some naturally like healthy foods.
Some are into health/fitness.
Some restrict diet.
Some do lots of exercise or have a hectic job/home life.
Some have a good metabolism.
Some people never feel full.
Some emotionally eat.
Some eat when bored.
Some have il health.
Also throw in age, gender, life style choices.
If you are happy and not in bad health accept yourself but if you want to change you will need to do the work x

@OrinocoGlow

Genetics is often mentioned and there could be something in that- whether it makes you more or less pre-disposed to gain weight easily. I wonder if genetics also affects your appetite, how you react to stress or attraction to certain foods. For some people, creamy foods or sweet foods don't appeal and others crave them. I don't know the answer, just thinking having read some of the comments which show how different we all are.

I was 9 1/2 lb at birth and short so chubby from the word go. I was a short, slightly chubby (but never overweight or obese child). My mother is nearly eighty,, so born during the war and there was rationing until she was practically a teenager. She was 9 1/2 lb at birth and a chubby child. In photos of us as children, taken a little over twenty years apart, we could almost have been the same child. I lost the puppy fat as I reached my teens and was slim until I had my last child. After that, the genetic hormonal conditions kicked in and l have struggled with my weight ever since. As I said earlier, I am now at a weight and size l am happy with. My mother has struggled with her weight her entire life and both of us say that we are conscious of every mouthful we take. I think for many of us it is a case of battling against genetics and taking responsibility for ourselves, unfortunately.

@Spottyphonecase24
look up Jason Fung on YouTube.

For me intermittent fasting works but ever so often I forget the principles and lose the plot.

I was down to 59kg in June just with eating a balanced OMAD OR TMAD but the summer parties proved to be tricky and seemed to have gained nearly 5kg since. Desperately trying to lose it again.

I try to avoid having treats in the house but with kids it’s not that straightforward. Sometimes I designate items as for someone else so not allowed

It’s a constant battle

Good luck

The 'naturally slim' people I know just aren't into food. They eat for fuel, not because they particularly enjoy eating. They can leave half a sandwich, won't even bother with things like biscuits, will just have a couple of chips off a plate and leave it at that. They just don't eat very much, they can take it or leave it.

I like being thin too much.

Well I used to be bulimic so that worked for a while. As it is now I go from 8st to 9.5st every couple of years and then lose it again and repeat. Probs not the best method. I'm probably not a good person to give eating advice out. I don't keep anything like biscuits, sweets, crisps in the house. I'll eat them all if I do.

The bulimic comment was tongue in cheek btw was NOT a recommendation.

Also check Dr. Becky Gillaspy

Honestly I'm not sure the posts from the people who say they couldn't eat, for example a tub of Ben and jerry's are helpful. You aren't going to be overweight as your body makes you feel sick/stops you. I can happily polish off a full tub of Ben and Jerry's after a decent sized meal and feel absolutely fine. No uncomfortableness, no sickness etc. At that point I feel full. During a normal month I probably feel full once or twice when I have a meal out/large takeaway and eat what I want. I don't ever feel full from the normal/healthy food I cook and eat daily, but I know that's what I need to eat to remain a normal weight. For me food is life, I'm hugely greedy and I love food. It's purely willpower that I don't want to be fat that keeps me a normal size. If I did any kind of intuitive eating I'd be the size of a house. But for someone who is a normal amount of hungry but maybe eats because they are bored, that can work really well.

Not-fat people come in 3 categories in my opinion. Those who aren't fussed/don't like eating much food, those who do a lot of exercise and those who restrict their food intake in some way. If you aren't type 1, you need to either find ways to restrict your food intake or exercise a lot. Food wise for some this is portion sizes, or low carb or cooking from scratch, or no snacks in the week etc. It's different for everyone. Try some lifestyle/diet changes and see what's easiest to stick to!

My main reason for not over indulging all the time is my childhood. My parents were constantly commenting on my weight and body shape so I always thought I was fat, even though looking back at photos, I was always absolutely tiny.
So if I ever feel my size 8/10 clothes feeling tight, I cut back on food until I’ve lost a few pounds.

Also I don’t have food such as biscuits/cake/crisp is etc other than on special occasions, it’s f I’m hungry between meals I eat fruit.

Following things work for me, my mindset, and morals etc:

1. family size things eg ice cream tubs are for sharing. Only get them out when you are actually sharing. Eg after a meal with a guest, or family if you live with them. This includes family size chocolate Bars etc. I might want to in a fantasy world eat a whole cake (ice cream not my thing) but I would feel greedy and would know it was greedy, so just wouldn't do it.
2. I engross myself in other activities. Eg walking, reading, sewing, music, watching a film etc. These activities do not need snacks. Eating is not a hobby. And if it is, replace it with a new one. I have decoupled eating from other activities. Take up knitting if you need to do something with your hands. Take fruit to work, and don't buy snacks
3. realising eating crap food is about triggering a reward signal. Find other things that do that and re-educate your brain. Realising you're not powerless - this helped me.
4. I brush my teeth early evening when I get the munchies. Then I'm programmed to not eat again until Breakfast 5)I also find eating similar meals every day helps. So eg same museli for breakfast, similar baguette for lunch (sensible size to fill me but not slathered in mayonnaise etc) and then evening meal varies more.
5. expect to build an appetite by mealtimes - it's normal to be hungry by then and that's a good thing. 7)deciding to reign it in when my clothes start becoming a little tighter. Easier and cheaper to shed a few pounds than buy a whole new wardrobe.
6. realising that there will be goodies available other days too. Its OK to stop, and it's OK to pass up on offered biscuits etc. This can stem from childhood - if treats were rare, or there was competition for leftovers, or of money was tight. But it's not doing you any favours to finish the whole pizza when it's really designed for 4 people. I realised this for me .

HTH.. the power is within you. Not to say you need to lose weight, but you can have control over all of your decisions. Good luck!

Oh, and I don't drink alcohol.

I am overweight because I eat too much, and have PCOS which makes it hard to shift it.

I exercise regularly, eat a lot of healthy food and let myself eat chocolate occasionally.

I have lost weight this year by increasing exercise but it takes ages. I feel better when I exercise, and my sport of choice is easier when I am a bit lighter.

When I want to snack on crap I eat a pack of Skips, Quavers or similar as they have less the 100cals a pack and are better than a family pack.

.

[quote beautifullymad]@secretbookcase my husband was diagnosed as a diabetic with quite severe blood sugar. We looked into ways of reducing blood sugar naturally (plus medication) and fell upon this way of eating. Two years on we have lost 8 stone between us and feel a lot better.

I think the closest way of eating is a low carb diet. I'm not ultra low carb as that would be 20 carbs a day. I'm 40 as it's easier and doesn't make a lot of difference to me.

I joined a reversing diabetes Facebook group and my knowledge grew from them.
[/quote]
Very interesting post. Would you mind outlining what you typically eat each day please?

@Konstantine8364

Honestly I'm not sure the posts from the people who say they couldn't eat, for example a tub of Ben and jerry's are helpful. You aren't going to be overweight as your body makes you feel sick/stops you. I can happily polish off a full tub of Ben and Jerry's after a decent sized meal and feel absolutely fine. No uncomfortableness, no sickness etc. At that point I feel full. During a normal month I probably feel full once or twice when I have a meal out/large takeaway and eat what I want. I don't ever feel full from the normal/healthy food I cook and eat daily, but I know that's what I need to eat to remain a normal weight. For me food is life, I'm hugely greedy and I love food. It's purely willpower that I don't want to be fat that keeps me a normal size. If I did any kind of intuitive eating I'd be the size of a house. But for someone who is a normal amount of hungry but maybe eats because they are bored, that can work really well.

Not-fat people come in 3 categories in my opinion. Those who aren't fussed/don't like eating much food, those who do a lot of exercise and those who restrict their food intake in some way. If you aren't type 1, you need to either find ways to restrict your food intake or exercise a lot. Food wise for some this is portion sizes, or low carb or cooking from scratch, or no snacks in the week etc. It's different for everyone. Try some lifestyle/diet changes and see what's easiest to stick to!

The Op asked the question though and its a valid answer. For some reason the " full" signal is faulty in those who overeat. We arent denying ourselves the tub of ice cream , it would be almost physically impossible and I would probably be sick. Just the thought of it is horrible. So thats one reason why .

I think there is 4th category of people are slim and thats those who have healthy diet that meets all their nutritional needs.

Oh, OP. Sending love to you. I think, for me, it’s that I genuinely like eating fruit and vegetables, as well as things like cake and crisps. I believe in balance: so, I have a kind of barometer inside me that makes me feel like I need to do exercise everyday, and I’ll think to myself something like, ‘I had crumble and custard for pudding at lunch, so I’ll just have fruit for pudding this evening’. I do always eat big portions though, and finish everything on my plate.

Two other things: I remember reading somewhere once that if you think you’re hungry, have a big cup of tea and an apple and then see how you feel after that. That generally does the trick.
The other - I remember my mum saying when I was really young ‘ooh, I’m really craving some vegetables this evening’. Small comments like that I think really helped my mindset, and made me think of vegetables as something delicious and a treat - I still think of them like this, and feel really odd if I don’t get at least 5 a day.

I think you need to give yourself a lot of compassion. Please don’t feel bad. Sending you a big hug, and I hope you get where you want to soon.

I think there is 4th category of people are slim and thats those who have healthy diet that meets all their nutritional needs.

I would class myself in that category, because I certainly don't fit in the first three categories.

Food doesn't taste nice if you aren't hungry when you eat it.
It's a travesty to eat food when not hungry.
That's how to miss out all the flavour.
Why would you do that unless you didn't want to actually enjoy your food. Or maybe can't enjoy it. Not really. Reminds me of my alcoholic cousin who said -- "Oh, is drinking supposed to be fun? Never felt fun to me!"

I like fruit and vegetables, too. All their flavours & textures. Probably I easily fill up on them.

I am. And I remember having conversations in my teens “if I ever get to a size 14 I know I need to diet”.

Now about a 20.

I overeat. I eat when bored. I enjoy too many ‘bad’ things.

I had trauma therapy. EMDR to be precise. Has your therapist attempted to discuss potential triggers with you?

I don’t have the desire or the capacity for that amount of food anymore. Binge eating and those huge cravings can often be a trauma response to something. Also, traumatic experiences aren’t limited to war or being involved in a major incident.

Might be worth thinking about OP 💐

I'm a skinny midget with no real interest in food. One meal a day would easily do for me. I could go without just the same. Eating is often a chore I have to do to not feel like shit. I get annoyed when I have no appetite but need to eat.

@Thefartingsofaofdenmarkstreet

The 'naturally slim' people I know just aren't into food. They eat for fuel, not because they particularly enjoy eating. They can leave half a sandwich, won't even bother with things like biscuits, will just have a couple of chips off a plate and leave it at that. They just don't eat very much, they can take it or leave it.

This is me except for one thing... I really love the taste of food I like and will savour it but I wont eat much. So usually I only eat half a sandwich at a time and will save the rest for the next day. I dont snack. If I am hungry I will eat but I will stop when I have had enough.