Why aren’t you obese?

[Spottyphonecase24]

A bit of a weird one but I have just got off a zoom call with my therapist. We were talking about my weight (I am obese).

Why isn’t everyone else obese? What stops you? I don’t seem to have an off button. I remember going from a 10 to a 12 and thinking that’s it I’m not going to get any bigger but I did and now I am in a size 24 and they are getting a bit tight. I’ve read lots about how people have their light bulb moment to lose weight and that has not happened to me, or maybe it has and I’ve ignored it.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I honestly don’t know the reasons why people don’t eat more. Is it will power, feeling full?

I echo this. Succinctly put.

I’m far from ‘skinny’: my BMI is around 22-23. I’m right in the middle of a healthy weight for my height. I love food and would happily eat huge meals several times per day, snack endlessly. But I don’t because I value my health and liking the way I look much more.

Barring the very few health issues that can contribute to obesity, obesity at its core is a side effect of a lack of self control (if being a healthy weight is important to you that is, if you couldn’t care less then it’s an abundance of indulgence!). It can be the consequence of an eating disorder. It quite literally is disordered eating to eat so much more than your body needs, consistently, to balloon up to such a size, with the attendant health problems and risks.

Ultimately even if I didn’t care about my appearance I feel I owe it to my child to be as healthy for him as possible, he needs me around for as long as possible. I have treats and don’t always eat the healthiest food every single day, but I don’t smoke, rarely drink, exercise moderately and maintain a healthy weight. I wouldn’t touch a cigarette since having a child as I feel I owe it to him to not take such foolish risks with my health and obesity is the same. A lot of people with obesity are in denial about the impact of their size on their loved ones in many ways. It’s about priorities and I prioritise being a healthy weight over eating as much of whatever I want.

I really feel for people raised obese, it must be awful to enter teen years or adulthood already with a battle to go to get to a healthy weight, your body is already impacted by the excess skin, and it’s what feels normal to you. There have been cases where parents have had their children removed for failing to provide for their needs and causing them to become morbidly obese. But as an adult it’s in your hands.

I like being slim

For me I just don't like the feeling of being too full, I enjoy food, takeaways etc and goodies but i just find myself stopping when I am nicely full and generally not eating unless I'm hungry. When me and my husband have a takeaway, we share a curry etc

I am definitely a binge eater, I can easily eat a huge bar of chocolate or a takeaway pizza in one go. Then I feel sick and disgusted with myself. The more sugar I have the more I want and it makes me tired and constipated after a while.

I tend to go through phases of doing this a couple of times a year, and when I feel my clothes getting tight I get a fright and manage to stop.

The best thing for me is just to never buy any junk food as I know if it's there I will eat the lot. I also don't eat ready meals as I don't like the taste. I'm not interested in savoury snacks like crisps either.

When I stick to my normal healthy eating I feel comfortable, more agile and enjoy the way my clothes look. It also makes me happy to cook healthy food for my kids. Ultimately those things are all more important than the 10 minutes of pleasure I get from a chocolate bar

I'm a recovering Bulimic, who has developed a Compulsive Overeating Disorder. I've gone from a size 10 to 16/18 this year. The reason? Because I hate myself and 'punish' myself with food.

Learning about the very clever marketing tactics and the dreadful lobbying of the sugar industry etc. I am determined not to damage my health to make someone else rich. That’s been really influential. Not buying it in the first place. Junk food is designed to make us want more. I struggle to resist that urge. Also learning that I comfort eat. I still do sometimes but I’m aware when I do it.

I think it’s a mix of reasons genetics, lifestyle and how you feel about food. I take after the thin side of the family, I’m always busy, and I just eat what I fancy when but I have never fancied a whole tub of ice cream or biscuits in one go.
I eat frequently throughout the day and snack but only small portions

The problem is that for most of us who are overweight or obese we can't eat until we're full because we rarely or ever feel full. We just don't recognise that stop point.

I can't imagine being able to get to a BMI of below 25 let alone maintain it. It's just not possible unless I starved myself for the rest of my life.

The problem is that for most of us who are overweight or obese we can't eat until we're full because we rarely or ever feel full. We just don't recognise that stop point.

That's interesting. Hasn't there been some research on this?

I don’t eat it cause I care about my looks, it’s total vanity.
I will run to lose weight.
I will weight myself every morning.
When I do eat, I stop because I don’t want to have to buy new clothes and feel shit about myself.
It’s self discipline

That's interesting. Hasn't there been some research on this?

Quite a lot -- the role of leptin and ghrelin and the balance between them is a pretty hot topic at the moment.

I've often wanted to ask an obese person how often do they eat the following sorts of foods:
Pizza
Take away curry
Fizzy drinks
Crisps
Ready meals
Chocolate
Drinks like those coffees or milkshakes with cream piled on top
Cakes/biscuits/puddings

All of the above are hugely calorific and contain almost no nutritional value at all.

I rarely eat any of the above. It's not because I don't like them but I know they have no health value, and the nicest food for me is tasty, nutritious, not greasy.
I also hate to eat huge amounts of food, it is not something that feels physically pleasant at all for me. So never just keep eating.
To not be obese my first step would be to cut out all of those above listed foods and find alternatives that are enjoyable to eat.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

Two things:

1. I take responsibility for myself. Nobody is going to pay the price for me doing those things other than me. Nobody and nothing is forcing me to eat this or that. I can choose not to eat those things, and I do.

1. I was raised well, and life has been good to me. I benefitted from a good education, and have always had the resources to live a healthy life. So it would never occur to me to eat an entire tub of ice cream. I’m aware it’s an option, but it’s such a preposterous one that it just wouldn’t occur to me (equally, why would someone eat an entire raw cauliflower for dinner? It’s an option, but it tastes gross after a few bites, would make you farty, and after the fifth bite would just be boring and not at all beneficial).

The two things are probably linked, at least to the extent that #2 makes #1 natural. There are a vanishingly small number of people who are genetically predisposed to obesity no matter what. It’s mostly nurture, environment, socio-economic status and luck in terms of life events (not DNA).

CantStartaFireWithoutaSpark and I also like eating lots, so I eat a massive lunch and then don't eat dinner. It doesn't bother me but might be seen as unhealthily. I'm planning on trying to split lunch and dinner (have always hated breakfast food). But it works...

I think in some ways if you are not obese it's easier to remain slim. At this point you have so many cells crying out to be fed. Also as I've always been slim no food is contraband. It's quite a normal thought process for me to think, oh I might have those cookies for elevenses, then forget, and then it's almost lunchtime so I don't bother. But I think the ability to not fixate is likely due to knowing I can have them whenever I want?

Because I only eat once a day, I seem to be able to eat whatever I want?! Happy to accept that this isn't a good idea if anyone takes offence, but it works for me.

Make a meal plan for the week. Eat vegetable heavy meals that we cook from scratch. No added sugar. We don’t buy ‘snack food’ with the weekly shop so then if you do want a treat you have to make an effort to go and get it. Or make it from scratch out of what’s at home. Drink water instead of eating as usually not hungry just thirsty

For me, I think it is a question of both luck (genes) and habits.

I don’t have to stop myself from eating an entire tub of ice cream or several chocolate bars in a row, because it simply wouldn’t occur to me do that, and I would want it anyway. It’s lucky for me that sweet things mostly come portioned in some way - I do not have the same attitude towards pasta or curry.

I go on a diet when I reach 74kg (although my limit has stretched to 78kg over the last 10 years). I use my fitness pal to track my food and am very disciplined to get down to my target weight of 64kg. It takes a good few months and reminds me of my love for healthy food, reduces my cravings and generally resets everything. The weight stays off another year or so and then starts to creep back. This has been my pattern since I left home at 18. It’s basically 2 - 2.5 years the. 3 - 6 months diet and then another 2.5 years of normal eating.. If I didn’t reset every few years I’d be HUGE.

I prefer to be slim than overweight and so I...

Only eat between 12-8pm
Count my calories
Eat small portions
Run 10-15 miles a week and go the the gym

I like food but don't think about it 24/7 and don't crave chocolate, crisps, etc. If I fancy a biscuit then I'll have one but never feel the urge to eat the whole packet.

I have never had a big appetite. However tasty the food, I cannot continue eating once I am full. I have never allowed my stomach to stretch past this point.

I enjoy being a size 10. I have no intention of moving up to even a size 12.

@Twattergy

I've often wanted to ask an obese person how often do they eat the following sorts of foods: Pizza Take away curry Fizzy drinks Crisps Ready meals Chocolate Drinks like those coffees or milkshakes with cream piled on top Cakes/biscuits/puddings

All of the above are hugely calorific and contain almost no nutritional value at all.

I rarely eat any of the above. It's not because I don't like them but I know they have no health value, and the nicest food for me is tasty, nutritious, not greasy.
I also hate to eat huge amounts of food, it is not something that feels physically pleasant at all for me. So never just keep eating.
To not be obese my first step would be to cut out all of those above listed foods and find alternatives that are enjoyable to eat.

I've been obese. The answer to how often I ate or drank any of those things is 'almost never'. Many of them I outright can't stand, the others would be a rarity. I don't consider any of them treat foods.

There are more than just a "very few" health conditions that contribute to obesity. There are an enormous number of conditions that contribute, both physical and mental, and pretending willpower is enough to overcome all of them is disingenuous at best.

I focus on how crappy the bad for you food feels after about 15 minutes. There is a reaction in your brain when you eat sugar/fat - at first your brain wants you to eat more and then later you get the full signal. It can help to eat slowly and wait for the other signal to kick in. If I do over eat I try to remember how crummy it makes my body feel next time.

I also don’t deprive myself, I eat three meals a day, I’m currently sat eating a Japanese cream roll, have milk in coffee (size 8). DH and I both eat ice cream A LOT. But we also buy high quality everything which is generally less likely to have fake chemical ingredients that make the food hyper palatable. So I’ll have a small bowl of ice cream and stop.

I also had a sports coach early on drum in how bad things like fizzy drinks are. We literally have no fizzy drinks, crisps or biscuits in the house, ever. I don’t miss them. DH doesn’t like alcohol so we tend not to have much in the house.

I’ve read a lot about the food industry and science behind why we want to eat what we do and I guess when I feel like eating loads of sugar, I remind myself that I don’t NEED the sugar, I’m just evolved to want it from back when it was scarce.

I gained about a stone when DD was about 1, got mega frustrated with myself and lost it over about 3 months over lockdown. Flat out refusing to gain that weight back.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

Knowing that I would feel ill if I ate that much.