Why aren’t you obese?

[Spottyphonecase24]

A bit of a weird one but I have just got off a zoom call with my therapist. We were talking about my weight (I am obese).

Why isn’t everyone else obese? What stops you? I don’t seem to have an off button. I remember going from a 10 to a 12 and thinking that’s it I’m not going to get any bigger but I did and now I am in a size 24 and they are getting a bit tight. I’ve read lots about how people have their light bulb moment to lose weight and that has not happened to me, or maybe it has and I’ve ignored it.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I honestly don’t know the reasons why people don’t eat more. Is it will power, feeling full?

My health is what stops me. I don’t cope well with eating loads of sugar. I cope a lot better eating low carb and when you eat low carb it’s far easier to naturally manage your weight. I’m certainly not slim, but I think if I ate enough to be obese I’d pretty much cease to function.

I never diet or deprive myself of something I want, then it doesn't feel off limits or a treat as such.

I never eat until I'm stuffed, just until I feel full.

I rarely have a snack like crisps/ chocolate before 12pm.

I'm not hugely into exercise but I walk every day.

My job is very demanding and I'm on my feet a lot of the day.

I have a toddler that is extremely active.

I'm around 8 stone.

I was obese and now I'm just a bit overweight.

I was intolerant to a lot of food all once I stopped eating them I lost a lot of weight then the same amount once I started fasting and running. I've been poorly so haven't run for two months but I run for my mental health and also so I can have chocolate for sweets or crisps.

Honestly for me it's having food rules. I'm hugely greedy, I love food, I'm only short but can eat huge amounts of food. I can eat a whole dominos large pizza to myself in one sitting for example. So for me I don't buy anything unhealthy from the supermarket (no cakes, sweets, biscuits, chocolate etc) I don't snack at home apart from fruit at 10.30am when I WFH. I eat big salads for lunch most days. Cook from scratch most of the time and have relatively healthy dinners e.g. home made curries, lots of fish and veg.

Then when I see friends either at home or out I eat whatever I want. I also allow myself one unhealthy lunch per week. I also do a decent amount of exercise as I have a horse and also do other exercise e.g. swim/run/climb 2x a week.

I'm top end of normal BMI/a few pounds into overweight depending, but I'm broadly happy with my weight and lifestyle. Importantly (I think!) I'm 33 and I can still wear clothes from when I was 18.

Other friends don't eat processed carbs unless it's a special occasion. It is a constant battle of willpower for me. So the easiest way is have set rules, I can't eat 2 biscuits and put the packet back, so I just don't have them in the house!

I've been obese several times in my life. If I eat whatever I want, my weight seems to settle at about 14 st 7 (I'm 5'4). I'm a healthy weight at the moment (10 st 3) because I'm consciously eating sensibly. My 'obese' diet would be something like this on a typical day:

Breakfast - large bowl of cereal
Mid-morning - Cup a soup with 2 slices of bread
Lunch - cheese on toast, bag of crisps
Dinner - steak and chips with mayonnaise
Pudding - bowl of ice cream
Evening snack - bag of Maltesers

Drinks - Diet Coke

My healthy diet is more like:

Breakfast - apple
Lunch - Mackerel fillets and salad
Dinner - home made chicken and vegetable curry with small rice portion

Drinks - black tea or water

I appreciate my food more when I'm not shovelling down whatever I fancy but if I let myself there's no doubt I would be back at fourteen odd stone within a year.

@HereWeGoAgains

I just can’t relate to sitting in the evening and eating a whole pack of biscuits, especially as a normal, everyday habit.

Neither can I. I think you have hit the nail on the head re it being a habit. It isn't a habit I have got into. We eat our main meal of the day any time between 6.30 and 7 in the evening, and I am then not hungry for anything else until the next morning.

Tonight we are having chilli with baked potatoes and salad.

@midnightpopcorn

I'd be really interested to see a week of food for the thin people who say they eat loads of unhealthy food but dont gain weight. I just don't understand it scientifically... I'm convinced they're actually not eating much or they're really active.

So for example if I'm unchecked, not in the zone diet wise and eat what I like, I'd say it's: bacon, eggs, sausage and buttery bread, crisps x 2, 3 portions cereal (looks like nothing in the bowl), chocolate bar, tuna Mayo sandwich (whole tub of sandwich filler meant for 3 sandwiches), then a takeaway (pizza or curry), or a meal from the freezer like pie, chips, beans. Then maybe a bottle or 2 of wine and another bar of chocolate.

This kind of thing every day for weeks.

That's not how the thin people are eating is it?

No it's not. I rarely have meals as such. In a day I would usually have the equivalent of half a share bag size of crisps, a standard bar of chocolate, a small quantity of sweets (a pez roll or a dozen cola bottle sized sweets),two or three pints of full sugar cola, and, some days, cake - either a doughnut or eclair, just standard size. I have a bad relationship with food due to constantly craving sugar as a child/teenager and not having access to the things I wanted so badly. I don't touch alcohol or coffee. I do a lot. I'm on my feet most of the day due to caring for my disabled husband, our children, and the dogs. I also work. It's not healthy and it's probably not advisable but you are correct, slim people who live on "crap" food more than likely do not just eat all day.

What an honest post OP. For me a few different things:
I get full and stop enjoying the food.
I tend not to snack and I stick to 3 meals a day and am satisfied after them.
I don’t buy larger clothes. If my size 10s get tight, I do 5:2 to lose the 7-10lbs extra. I’ve never got larger than that(apart from pregnancy) and I’m 50.
Also, I like fruit and veg, not really into sweet stuff or pastry.
I do have a weakness for crisps so I tend not to buy them.

I'd also add that I don't have a massive appetite and neither does my DH. If we were to order a takeaway for example, we would share a pizza or share a tub of rice and some chicken korma.

I’m far from slim and battled lots over the years. It gets more difficult the older you get too. I just look at foods on tv or such and try to get repulsed by it. I’ve never eaten a tub of ice cream in one go but have done with a packet of biscuits. I know what I need to do it’s just doing it. Best of luck xx

I think it's being mindful everyday about what you eat and planning three meals (or however many you eat) so that you don't snack or binge eat when hungry. I lost weight recently (mostly lockdown weight) by joining a slimming club and counting calories on MyfitnessPal. It feels really good being able to get into clothes that I had grown out of. Unfortunately only watching my calories will maintain the weight loss. I am resigned to that plus getting as close as possible to 10,000 steps a day.

I wish you every success in your own journey!

When you say in your OP a large ice cream or a small bag of crisps, that’s the thing right there - I don’t eat either. Small or large. I realise there are far more complex reasons behind obesity, but you’ve asked, giving that example. So maybe that’s one reason.

@ImJustNotMeAnymore yeah I think that's kind of how I imagined it. As you say, it's not healthy but it's not hugely calorie dense or masses.

I love food but hate the stretched achy feeling of being too full so I only eat small amounts of anything. I'm still overweight though because those small amounts are the wrong things. I love high fat foods like cream and butter and fatty meats. If I eat something lean like steak or turkey I will surround it by (small amounts) of mashed potato with extra butter, spinach in a cream sauce and a super crispy, super fatty roast potato plus greens with butter on top and maybe a side of home made hollandaise sauce. If I have a dessert it will be a tiny portion but absolutely drowned in double cream.

I've recently discovered I have high blood pressure so am trying to eat more healthily and lose a little weight. So far the answer has been to avoid my trigger foods like butter, cream and taramasalata completely and focus on fruit, veg and beans. I'm not even buying my fatty favourites at the moment. That's easy enough to do. If you do have a big appetite I can see it must be very hard to cut back.

I’m just cooking a noodle and veg stir fry to eat with grilled salmon. That will be eaten at 6ish and I’ll be full, have a cup of tea about 9pm but no biscuits. DH will have a biscuit or 2. I think a lot comes from habits instilled by parents. I was always taught not to eat more than my fair share, of anything.

Because I don't want to be and have to be very very strict with my diet so I don't become obese. I am about a stone overweight and want to lose it.

Typical day of eating looks like this:

Breakfast yogurt, oats, tsp of honey and raspberries
Lunch half a carton of tomato or chicken soup and some chopped raw veg
Dinner always home made so I know exactly what's in it. Tonight is fish pie with veg.
I only drink water and herbal teas, 2 coffees a day with skimmed milk. No snacks.

I have one "cheat meal" a week, usually a takeaway or out for dinner. I have 3 or 4 alcoholic drinks on a Friday night, usually a spirit like vodka with a sugar free mixer. And a treat of coffee and cake out with DS on a Sunday.

My motivation is looking at photos of my 20 year old slim pretty self! I'm 31 and keeping weight off is so much harder now.

If I spend a sedentary day I feel sort of guilty. Just the way I was brought up I think. You had to have something to show for your day and other than eg doing your tax return, it included exercise - a walk, some yoga, big cleaning session......

I also have cravings but hate that over stuffed, over sugared feeling. So I've never been able to eat mars bars, just too much. But love choc biscs but one or occasionally two.

Honestly? I couldn't eat that much I'd feel sick.
I really do get full.

I think the simple answer is that although I may occasionally overindulge, essentially eating too many rich and especially fatty foods makes me feel sick. And also lethargic and down if I were to persist. No big food rules but my body largely stops me from eating, like you suggested, a large tub of ice cream after a filling tea night after night...

I wish I knew! I love food. I love eating. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm stressed. I plan my day around what food I will eat next and when I will have an opportunity to eat. If there is not a clear opportunity to eat, I get very panicky. I don't understand people who can forget to eat. I am trying to change my ways. I am a size 12 but edging very close to a 14 and I'm not prepared to make that leap so I'm trying to cut down on refined carbs which are my big downfall. I do like healthy food so that's good but I never feel really sated until I've had something really filling and usually sweet. I'm 'lucky' to be quite tall so people don't usually believe how much I weigh as I hide it well but I know my body far is too high and I know I need to do something about it but it's a huge challenge.

Health.

I know we need good health throughout our lives.

I value health.

Because food is boring. I dislike feeling full up so only do the necessary.

Going out for a meal is my idea of hell, because it's dull watching people eat for an hour.

Husband despairs because he's a proper foodie and likes to cook and I'm an ungrateful wife for not appreciating the effort. Give me a plain chicken breast or one faffed on with. The response is the same. Fuel.

It's not a case of eating a smaller bar of chocolate or less ice-cream.

Most slim people rarely eat those things. they are an occasional treat. they are not real food.

We have been brainwashed by the food companies into thinking we should have access to food as a hobby

I do crave sugar, really badly, but it gives me migraine so I keep a check on it. The less of it I eat the less I want to eat. I find this with all foods, the more takeaways we get the more we want, if I get in a habit of cooking from scratch with lots of veg that's what I want. I find I sleep much better when I eat healthily, I suffer from terrible insomnia and eating carbs / takeaway / sugar / caffeine makes me so much worse.

Ive always been slim but I think that is a combination of genes and doing a lot of exercise as a child, so I was always starving and always eating. I had really good muscle tone even when I was pregnant with ds1, it's the reason the obstetrician said no one noticed he was breech.

I used to eat tons more than my friends at school, I was much shorter but would burn it all off. It's only since reaching my 40s I've recently gone from a size 8 to a 10 and I hate it. For a long time I wouldn't buy larger clothes, would just squeeze into the 8s which is a good reminder not to scoff tons of food. I have now bought a couple of size 10 jeans and a few tops but Im not going to buy a whole wardrobe so I need to lose weight. I'm trying to get back into the gym and finding weights are really helping, much more than cardio type stuff.

In the past if my weight went up I'd just cut back and eat healthily for a few weeks and that was enough to keep it under control.

If you crave food all the time there may be another underlaying problem: physically or mentally. I had a time when I was overeating and craving lots of sweet stuff, then I got an analysis of the root of my hair and found out I had candida (it is the bad bacteria which feeds on sugar); this triggered a hyperthyroid problem which made the over eating worse. The more sugar you eat the bigger the more out of control the bacteria gets and kills the good bacteria.
I started controlling what I ate, taking probiotics, doing yoga, meditation and have not had the problem ever since.

I do not keep sweet junk food in the house like juices, soft drinks, cookies, ice cream, crisps, cakes or chocolate bars. I do treat myself to a sweet occasionally or a scone or small ice cream, o cake when we go out but just a small one or share with DH; not every day.