Why aren’t you obese?

[Spottyphonecase24]

A bit of a weird one but I have just got off a zoom call with my therapist. We were talking about my weight (I am obese).

Why isn’t everyone else obese? What stops you? I don’t seem to have an off button. I remember going from a 10 to a 12 and thinking that’s it I’m not going to get any bigger but I did and now I am in a size 24 and they are getting a bit tight. I’ve read lots about how people have their light bulb moment to lose weight and that has not happened to me, or maybe it has and I’ve ignored it.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I honestly don’t know the reasons why people don’t eat more. Is it will power, feeling full?

It’s not will power for me . I feel better , more energised & healthier when I eat to nourish my body. I indulge when I want though . I find when I over indulge I just get sick of it. Today I bought some Cadbury bon fire logs. I ate 3 and felt sick of them. I don’t feel like anything sweet now at all . I might crave one again in a few days . For my every day meals I usually eat until I’m full and then stop. If I’ll still hungry I’ll have seconds or even thirds but if I’m full I don’t. It’s uncomfortable to overeat .

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

Because nothing tastes as good as slim feels. I exercise and eat healthily 90% of the time so my body feels fit, strong and well and I look good in clothes. I do have the occasional pig out but I keep it to occasional because I don't want to be fat. I am petitie and have had to watch my weight my entire life - it is normal for me.

I'd be really interested to see a week of food for the thin people who say they eat loads of unhealthy food but dont gain weight. I just don't understand it scientifically... I'm convinced they're actually not eating much or they're really active.

So for example if I'm unchecked, not in the zone diet wise and eat what I like, I'd say it's: bacon, eggs, sausage and buttery bread, crisps x 2, 3 portions cereal (looks like nothing in the bowl), chocolate bar, tuna Mayo sandwich (whole tub of sandwich filler meant for 3 sandwiches), then a takeaway (pizza or curry), or a meal from the freezer like pie, chips, beans. Then maybe a bottle or 2 of wine and another bar of chocolate.

This kind of thing every day for weeks.

That's not how the thin people are eating is it?

I am overrweight... stress eating got me there, what made me stop? The most stressful situation eased.

I have lost some weight recently, embarressed at getting weighed at the drs. also, weighed myself and put the wrong numbers in the calculator and scared myself that I was obese. A relative has had stomach surgery and I did not want to not be able to have a big takeaway again if I got to the point where I needed surgery. I needed to fit in my wetsuit on holiday. It was a bit beached whale. took two of us pulling and squishing to get me in the damn thing at the beginning of the holiday but I lost weight during the holiday walking down to the beach.

I am lucky. I can lose weight if I work at it. Some people can not because their stomach does not send out full/stop eating signals. (some hormone or other... )

In no sort of order: walking briskly for a couple of hours every single day, up and down hills. I always eat breakfast. Parking away from supermarket entrance. Moving a lot. Lots of fruit and veg. Only snack is at 4 o'clock. My downfall is chocolate so I leave that upstairs, fifty steps from the sitting room. I'm not slim but I am not obese. Traditional build!

MN always brings out the competitive under eaters so disregard those! Also the people who say oooh don't go above 1400 calories or some other arbitrary amount...well that would be complete madness for me as a tall active person, I occasionally log my food to understand how many calories I eat, it's generally about 2300 a day, I am not overweight. How much energy you need to fuel your body is really individual.

One thing that a lot of people comment on is about mindset to food and healthy food in particular. I think it is essential to not see unhealthy food as a forbidden treat, and also to see healthy nutritious food as a lovely act of self care to your body, or just neutral - as fuel - any mindset where something is being actively denied is not going to be fun or sustainable in the long run. It's about retraining your body to want different things and that is obviously in the mind too and involves unpicking what food means to you, what health means to you, how you feel in your own body.

I was and now I'm not - ditching low fat and exercising every day helped, plus intermittent fasting and reducing carbs but not low carb .. also so much more water and veg .. but the biggest lesson I learned was that low fat leaves you hungry all
The time - Google leptin and ghrelin - understanding the role of these two was life changing for me and I dropped 7 dress sizes

I weigh myself regularly. If I go over a certain weight I cut down on food. So I guess I’m a yo-yo dieter - I stuff myself with family size bags of crisps and cakes, gain 7lb then eat virtually nothing for a month or two to lose it again. If I didn’t have that weight loss blitz 2-3 times a year I’d just steadily gain weight till I was obese.

I am overweight, but one thing I notice as I get older is just how uncomfortable I feel if I overeat now. It's much worse in my 50s than it was in my 30s - this gives me hope that I might slim down eventually. I'd rather have a peppermint tea than pudding these days.

@midnightpopcorn

I'd be really interested to see a week of food for the thin people who say they eat loads of unhealthy food but dont gain weight. I just don't understand it scientifically... I'm convinced they're actually not eating much or they're really active.

So for example if I'm unchecked, not in the zone diet wise and eat what I like, I'd say it's: bacon, eggs, sausage and buttery bread, crisps x 2, 3 portions cereal (looks like nothing in the bowl), chocolate bar, tuna Mayo sandwich (whole tub of sandwich filler meant for 3 sandwiches), then a takeaway (pizza or curry), or a meal from the freezer like pie, chips, beans. Then maybe a bottle or 2 of wine and another bar of chocolate.

This kind of thing every day for weeks.

That's not how the thin people are eating is it?

Absolutely not how i am eating. But several of the things you mention are things I have never eaten so I do not feel deprived. Childhood diet may make a difference.

I have been overweight a lot of my life, but never bigger than a size 16. I certainly ate far too much, sometimes obsessively, but fortunately for me it never got to the stage of obesity - and I've never wanted to eat whole tubs of icecream or giant bars of chocolate, etc. Nothing to do with self-control on my part, just that my brain wasn't wired that way. Also, I have had a pretty happy, lucky and privileged life, which I'm sure must make a difference.
I haven't been overweight for the past several years and have found it much easier to manage my weight since I stopped being vegetarian.

I think I have an off button - both mentally and physically .

I'm not obese but am overweight , I think because I always eat a little bit more than my body needs to maintain itself but I wouldn't binge .

So for example I just couldn't eat a whole tub of ice cream or a family pack of crisps, or chocolate bar, mentally I couldn't do it, it would feel wrong to me, but equally I would feel sick if I did.

I could however, eat my tea, have a small bowl of ice cream as a desert and then maybe a small pack of crisps followed by a small chocolate bar later in the evening

We eat out/have takeaways quite often but I tend to have smaller dishes so I'm getting the extra calories in the restaurant meal (hence eating over my recommended allowance) but wouldn't/couldn't eat a massive plate .

Without sounding nasty, I don't know how someone ends up morbidly obese - even with mental health problems - how much does someone need to constantly eat to get to that size? I am not being goady because I have put on about 10lbs this past year. I could fee myself over eating. So how do people not put the breaks on when they feel it getting away from them?

I have been a size 12 pretty much my whole adult life. I went up to a 14 after I had my babies then back down to a 12 soon after. I went down to a 10 a couple of times but crept back up to a 12 quite quickly. I think that this is just my natural size, not skinny (I'll never have a washboard stomach) but not fat either, just slim but slightly overweight.

I eat whatever I want to eat. I wouldn't spoon myself out a portion of ice cream, I'll just get a spoon and the tub and eat as much as I want. When I've had enough I'll put it back in the freezer (DH and dc's have different ice cream ). It's the same with anything I eat. When I'm hungry I'll eat whatever I fancy and stop when I've had enough. I don't really feel the need to finish what's on my plate, on the rare occasion that thought pops into my head I say to myself "don't be ridiculous, you're full, you might end up feeling sick" and I stop eating. Also I only really drink water. I don't like hot drinks, might have some juice occasionally. I do drink alcohol about once a week but soft drinks just don't really do it for me so I suppose not drinking calories helps. I drink because I'm thirsty, or to get drunk 🤣

I have quite an active job, think 15k steps on a standard 6 hour shift. So that helps. I also hate driving, I can drive but I hate doing it. So if I need to go somewhere and can possibly walk instead of driving then I'll always walk. The thought of driving on the school run fills me with dread so me and the kids are walking it whatever the weather. I also really enjoy walking so choosing it over driving is never a difficult choice. I don't do any other exercise.

I'd really like to eat well, get more exercise and be a size 8 or 10 but I've tried it before and it's just not sustainable for me. I get really down and irritable. I'm not happy. I should probably just accept that I'm meant to be this size and carry on happily as a size 12 who eats chocolate whenever I want to.

@midnightpopcorn

I'd be really interested to see a week of food for the thin people who say they eat loads of unhealthy food but dont gain weight. I just don't understand it scientifically... I'm convinced they're actually not eating much or they're really active.

So for example if I'm unchecked, not in the zone diet wise and eat what I like, I'd say it's: bacon, eggs, sausage and buttery bread, crisps x 2, 3 portions cereal (looks like nothing in the bowl), chocolate bar, tuna Mayo sandwich (whole tub of sandwich filler meant for 3 sandwiches), then a takeaway (pizza or curry), or a meal from the freezer like pie, chips, beans. Then maybe a bottle or 2 of wine and another bar of chocolate.

This kind of thing every day for weeks.

That's not how the thin people are eating is it?

No not for me although I'm far from being in the size 8 category. I'm a size 12 but would never eat that much in a day. My typical day would be nothing apart from 3 cups of coffee with half a teaspoon of sugar in each until maybe 12 ish. Then a slice of toast and maybe a few biscuits,some cake maybe. Then maybe some Crisps at about 3 ish. Then dinner at 6.30 ish, fairly large portion but could be anything mainly includes veg. Then at night I can eat 2 chocolate bars, gateaux, trifle you name it. So I eat tons of sugar but not enough proper food

@nearly4o

Without sounding nasty, I don't know how someone ends up morbidly obese - even with mental health problems - how much does someone need to constantly eat to get to that size? I am not being goady because I have put on about 10lbs this past year. I could fee myself over eating. So how do people not put the breaks on when they feel it getting away from them?

Addiction

I’d say for me it’s years of conditioning.
I was a child gymnast and ballerina. From the age of 11, I would be weighed regularly, have my measurements taken etc and diet prescribed accordingly to put me into peak competition shape.
That obviously led to a very unhealthy relationship with food and exercise throughout my teens. Even after jacking in the gymnastics and ballet at 15, the damage was done. I then went into a very physically demanding job where I was burning more calories than I was taking in, so gaining weight was never on the cards.
I’m now in my late 20’s, have had 3 DCs, and I have a much better relationship with food these days - I don’t worry about calorie counting anymore, but do watch what I eat. Tonight for example: it’s been a really hectic day, so DH and I will have a takeaway pizza, and most likely ice cream. I won’t be worried about that, but I will make sure I eat 3 balanced meals tomorrow and go for a run.
It’s a bittersweet thing for me, because I wish I had never been subjected to such damaging body ideals as a child/teenager. I was lucky in that I got out of that environment before I became very ill. But at the same time, I feel like that experience has made me more body-aware than I otherwise would have been. I spent a lot of years viewing my body as a machine, and food as it’s fuel - and that’s a hard mindset to shake.

I used to eat until I felt really really full, often bingeing. I was putting on a lot of weight. So for a while I just noticed how I was feeling when I was doing these things and then started changing one thing at a time. I cut back on little things like stopping short by one biscuit. Slowly over time I noticed when I felt satisfied and stopped at that point.

Understanding your triggers or motivation is so important. Often I was eating because I was scared of feeling hungry or I might be hungry later so better eat now. Or just because I was bored.

Noticing all these things has really helped me. Now I don't weigh myself or restrict foods, I go purely on what my stomach is telling me eg. I'd better stop because I'm going to feel sick if I don't. These feelings have become much stronger the more I listen to them, whereas before when I was bingeing they were a whisper.

I don't buy foods I know I can't resist regularly, just occasionally for a treat and now I don't finish them in one sitting. I always make sure I have a healthy option in the house so if I'm feeling strong I can turn my back on the crisps.

I'm not skinny, but I'm ok. I've been doing this for over a year and feel so much better for it.

It's hard! I used to have a heavilly accented Austrian GP who without fail would insist on weighing me every visit, then wail "if I vas as heavy as you, I'd be vewy vewy fat" - I am fat, but she did the same thing every time without fail.

My current book comes from a book called "thin womans brain" - it hasn't worked yet, but I do have a tendancy to buy self help books, read a few pages/chapters and assume the rest will seep in ny osmosis.

duur - current user name, not current book

I just can’t relate to sitting in the evening and eating a whole pack of biscuits, especially as a normal, everyday habit.

It is about control and understanding if you eat certain things that are fattening you are going to put on weight.
I tend to put on weight easily around my middle which I really do not like.
I could ignore it and please myself but I know if my jeans are too tight and I have a roll of fat trying to burst out over the top I hate it.
I also understand if I over indulge then I need to cut back for the rest of the day or else I will put on weight. I also do not keep chocolate, biscuits or crisps in the house and try to limit my bread intake to one slice a day.

Like a PP, I could easily eat a huge lasagne, with butter-dripping garlic bread, followed by Icecream, cake and chocolate sprinkles - but I don't. i know that if i do, i'll get fat. So i'll have a small portion of lasagne, a bit of garlic bread, a bit of ice cream (tho I don't have a sweet tooth - I'd rather have a glass of wine than dessert)

I once saw a documentary on American overeaters, and boy they can overeat! There was a palpable outrage that they couldn't eat what the hell they liked, and stay slim.
Even some of them with gastric bands, stomach-staples etc still liquidised their burgers and chips and processed crap so that they could still get them in. Was bordering on mental health problems, I feel. They felt that it was their RIGHT to eat processed, sugary crap, A) being American, best country in the world yadda yadda B) it's available and C) they want to!

I think it's largely your eating style (grazing and excessive snacking is a big cause of obesity) and how in touch you are with your body's natural hunger and satiety cues. If you're in the habit of grazing you can eventually teach your body to ignore feelings of fullness and eat mindlessly. That done, it's very hard to not become overweight or obese without some serious willpower. If you are in touch with your body's cues, eat sensible meals with plenty of protein, and tend to only eat when hungry (there's nothing wrong with the occasional snack just for the sake of it of course - food is meant to be enjoyable!), you're much less likely to be obese. Lots of people become slightly overweight even on a reasonably structured diet (just because access to highly calorific foods is so much easier nowadays) but obesity generally goes deeper than that, and is more likely to be down to ingrained habits, unstructured eating, and there can be emotional factors too.

Most people couldn't eat a whole tub of ice cream or a very large bar of chocolate because your body usually tells you to stop before you finish by making you feel full, bloated or sick.

Hi I would like to share where I'm getting my motivation from right now because this is working for me it's great because
a)its not a diet
b) there is no exercise involved
I realised I shouldn't be concerned what weight I am but am I keeping my heart healthy