Why aren’t you obese?

[Spottyphonecase24]

A bit of a weird one but I have just got off a zoom call with my therapist. We were talking about my weight (I am obese).

Why isn’t everyone else obese? What stops you? I don’t seem to have an off button. I remember going from a 10 to a 12 and thinking that’s it I’m not going to get any bigger but I did and now I am in a size 24 and they are getting a bit tight. I’ve read lots about how people have their light bulb moment to lose weight and that has not happened to me, or maybe it has and I’ve ignored it.

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I honestly don’t know the reasons why people don’t eat more. Is it will power, feeling full?

I enjoy my food, drink far more wine than UK official guidance, and whilst I have an active-ish lifestyle it's nowhere near what I enjoyed in my younger days when I was playing competitive sport. I'm not rake-thin, but I'm far slimmer and fitter than an average person of my age.

I've never really given it too much headspace, for which I'm grateful, but the one thing which has occurred to me from reading previous threads on here about ultra-processed food is that - with the exception of booze - the calories I do consume are almost all in the lowest two NOVA classifications for the degree of processing. When I'm full I know it, not just because I can see what I've just eaten, but because I feel physically stuffed.

A lot of 'sin' foods are ultra-processed: the ice cream, the cakes, the biscuits, the plastic white bread. I can eat, say, a whole tube of Pringles and not feel full because - according to the original Brazilian research by Carlos Monteiro - my body simply doesn't recognise them as calories. Have the same amount of calories in a plate of rice and beans and you stop.

I have no idea! Except I:
Don't have a car, so I have to walk/lug everything around
Loosely intermittent fast - basically just don't eat breakfast
Do some kind of workout 3-4 times a week
Genuinely like vegetables

I do binge - popcorn at the films, an entire bag of Doritos - so I don't know why I'm not heavier than I am!

Probably a mixture of genetics and the way food makes me feel to be honest. Also jogging.

I eat a lot of sugar I feel a bit sick, it just doesn’t give me a good feeling.

Eating bread sends me to IBS town and I don’t need that.

Probably portion sizes too. I don’t use the massive standard size plates.

I had to stop buying the "bad" stuff because no matter how sure I was I could moderate myself I couldn't. They were gone in a blink. But luckily I was too lazy to go out and buy them when I craved them. Then cutting out added sugar and eating low-carb fixed the cravings anyway. Plus accepting feeling hunger doesn't mean I must eat right away realllly helped.

I used to be obese two years ago, but when I got to a size 20 my mobility was really badly affected, my ankles really hurt, I was breathless going upstairs and I hated having no choice in high street clothing shops. I am 64 and I also became aware that all the older people where I live who were out and about enjoying life were slim. None of them were overweight. It was a wake up call. I lost four stone and I've kept it off. I do I weighing myself frequently and by eating the way slim people eat! Small (actually, normal) portions, treats limited not constant. Loads of fruit and veg instead of choc cake bisc.

I work in a warehouse doing about 13 miles a day and have an eight mile cycle commute on top of that, plus all the heavy lifting.

I haven't read the whole thread yet, sorry.

It helps to keep in mind that there's a biological basis for you not having an off button when it comes to being full.

If you get down to a healthy weight, your body will be much better at helping you control your intake/appetite.

At the moment if you're obese your body is working against you (in this aspect)

So stick at monitoring your intake, know your BMR (you can use a calculator) and use it to make sure you stay within the calorie range.

Get used to being hungry.
when you lose weight, your appetite is stimulated (cruel isn't it?!)

I literally load up my plate with what I want and then put most of it back!

What stops you eating a tub of icecream or picking up a large bar of chocolate instead of a small one or one bag of crisps instead of a family size bag?

I don't buy them. Crisps are my downfall so I just don't buy them. If they're here I'll eat the lot.

Chocolate is a bit different. I bought some "treat" chocolate from M&S weeks ago and its still here.

Ice cream (and crisps to a point) makes me feel sick if i eat too much. Not at the time, I love it, but about 15mins later I realise I should have stopped way before and I hate that feeling.

I also think, and please don't think I'm being horrible, that some slimmer people have a different idea of what "full" is compared to overweight people. Slim people are "full" when they're not hungry anymore. Overweight or obese people i know eat until they're "full up" and have "no more room". Some friends look in horror at my dinner and say "that couldn't possibly fill me up", but I eat to stop being hungry, not fill my stomach to capacity, and that dinner manages to keep me from being actually hungry again for 16hrs as I do 16:8 so it can't be that bad.

Again, really hope that doesn't come across as mean or too blunt.

The idea of over-eating (myself) repulses me. I associate it with feeling full and bloated and unwell. I also worked in the food industry when I was younger and learnt a lot about food in general which means that I associate being overweight with conditions such as heart disease, diabetes etc.
For a while I trained as a fitness instructor and was very fit and toned. I'm now miles away from that, but I can still conjure up the memories of how I felt then, and it motivates me to try to eat healthily and keep exercising.
I do seem to have good willpower too though. If I buy a bar of chocolate DH will keep going to it and it will be gone in 24 hours. I'd be able to have a square then leave the rest for weeks later!

For me I think it was genetics plus a childhood where everything was home grown or very simple fare. We never got breakfast cereal - you got porridge and that was it. Fizzy drinks or squash were never in the house, milk or water or as a treat, orange juice. Lunch was home made bread with cheese, an apple and milk from our cows. We didn't even have sliced pan. We lived near the sea so there was lots of fish in our diet as well - very little processed food, almost never any frozen pre-made meals and as adults we tend to gravitate towards home-made and fresh rather than frozen or pre-prepared.

If I'm mooching around the kitchen it's usually from boredom, but also I'm more likely to peruse the salad drawer of the fridge rather than the treat cupboard that's heaving with chocolate. I can't however, keep crisps in the house. If I know they are there they just sing out to me until they are gone. I will even eat them knowing they belong to someone else. So the only alternative for me is to only buy them at the weekend and only enough for my Saturday night treat. And I'm too rural to just pop to the shop.

My brother has a very sweet tooth even though he was reared on the same food but he's also got a similar compulsion for alcohol so when he saw the similarities he just quit all sweet stuff and alcohol entirely.

Hitting my mid-to-late forties, my metabolism has slowed down, so I'm just doing the things I do good, more. I've cut out sugar in tea and coffee, ramped up my water intake and need to get on the exercising again, along with cutting out booze on a school night. But I'm still a size 10-12, 5ft so it's really only me that feels it in my clothes. I want to tone up and just be healthier though.

I changed my mindset over food only once I was happy with myself how I was. I accepted my body and shifted to trying to fuel it for the things I need to do - walking, exercise, running around after kids, lifting heavy things. I still enjoy food (a lot!) but I find myself just naturally making my dinner a smaller amount of pasta and a lot of vegetables, for example, rather than the other way around. I don't diet or count calories or deny myself anything but I've become one of those people who can say no to a cake or whatever if I don't fancy it right now, and I don't get annoyed if someone takes more than I have of something or feel like I have to finish what's on my plate - I'm OK with eating until I'm satisfied and then stopping. I honestly used to think those people were deluded but now I'm one of them, ha!
I thought I was an "all or nothing" person and I went through periods of giving up all sugar etc but that never worked. It turns out I can be an "everything in moderation" kind of person.

Regularly exercising helped me love my body and set the whole thing in motion, seeing small muscles develop even under the fat is such a great feeling. It took me a long time to find that motivation though.

For me it’s because I’ve got arthritis in my SI joints, spine, hips, knees and pelvis, I am very immobile, in a lot of pain and don’t want to exacerbate that by adding extra weight to the equation.

Pure willpower
I have all those foods in the house but I’ve trained myself to stop.
So one packet of crisps and stop. One square of chocolate and stop.
I used to gorge but all it did was make me feel disgusted with myself.
I have over time just trained myself.
And I also eat lots of healthy food so I’m rarely
Hungry

I hate the feeling having overeaten. I'm not skinny by any means but that feeling stops me stuffing myself too much. Interesting question as I'd never really thought about it. Usually ask myself why I'm not slimmer not why I'm not fatter!

Look up persistent metabolic adaptation. So to those obese people at the buffet there is genuinely a stronger drive to eat and when they do eat the food actually gives them a higher reward. Weirdly it's caused by dieting!

It's a good question.

I struggle with a huge number of obesity risk factors - chronic pain with limited mobility. PCOS and hormone imbalances which make me put on weight extremely easily. Along with this, I live with our good friends Depression and Anxiety. I'm also pretty sure I've inherited my family genes of having zero self control when there's food around.

However, I'm a size UK8-10 and 65kg (5' 10).

It's CONSTANT work to maintain my current weight, but it's work that I decided to do. I spent months counting calories, and now have the knowledge and planning to eat around 1200 calories a day, as I discovered this was my metabolism's "magic number" whether I liked it or not. I go to the gym twice a week. I walk everywhere when I can. I treat sugar like poison. I make this choice every day. There's no magic wand and, yes, some days it sucks!

Basically, I stopped making excuses. I decided I was going to be responsible for being overweight, or responsible for being slim. For me, the impact on my mobility, overall health, and appearance was/is worth the work.

Some people have different priorities regarding their weight/food habits, and they are no less valid than me.

Honestly? Only monitoring my calories on an app & ensuring I eat enough protein keeps me from becoming obese. I aim for approx 1800-2200 calories per day (net).

Honestly

pure dumb luck/genetic lottery

I do occasionally eat more than I should but feel grubby afterwards. But that’s got fuck all to do with me being slim.

See above. It’s luck and genes.

Exercise and movement. Not just going to the gym but every day activity.
Walking up the stairs rather than the lift.
Walking up the escalator rather than standing.
Training for something, anything - a short park run, a sponsored swim, a sponsored long walk - will help because you then start to look at food as fuel for your activity rather than a comfort aid.

If you are trying to fit in a training swim before or after work, it means that you will drink less alcohol the night before, not eat a heavy lunch and so on.

I get full. Very quickly

I’ve always had a really fast metabolism. Even to the point where painkillers and sedation don’t work correctly.

But other than that. I get bored of eating. I’ve never enjoys eating any don’t eat because I enjoy food. But because it’s a necessity. My children are the same. As is my mother. It must be a taught thing.

We’re all tiny. I was a size 4 till I was 30. I’m now a size 8 at age 42. I’d love to be curvy. But alas. I’m a straight up and down.

I hope this isn't offensive as I don't mean to be but for me I don't want to be overweight. I do have to be very strict as I have a very sweet tooth and love junk and could quite easily eat and eat and eat. But ultimately I want to be slim and feel healthy so have to limit the amount of unhealthy food I have in the house or I'd be in trouble

Because I know the health implications of being obese and I also have seen my mum spend the last 30 odd years obese so I know that it becomes harder and harder to loose the weight because a normal weight is so far away.

I don't have unhealthy stuff in the house.
Also exercise 4-5 times a week, it's become part of my routine like going to work and I don't question it anymore.
I always want unhealthy food though, and think about it throughout the day but just don't eat it. I'm probably a bit too obsessed with being slim though so thats enough to stop me.

I do agree some people get a higher reward from food. I remember saying to a friend once about how lovely that buzz is when you have a massive burger or a large glass of wine and she genuinely had no idea what I meant. If you get that buzz it makes it much harder to say no to