AIBU to think my friend changed the goalposts

[StepCatsmother]

A friend needed to go into hospital for a small procedure and asked if I would be able to collect her after it and drive her home. I said I would, so long as when she had the date, I didn't have other arrangements already - she knew I had a week's holiday in October, plus a weekend away.

I hear nothing about it for a while, then on 7/10, while I am on holiday, she sends a message saying the procedure is in 6 days and that 'I have to stay with her overnight or she will have to stay in hospital'. This is the first time an overnight stay was mentioned.

I tell her immediately that I don't know if it is possible as the date of her procedure is the date my car has been booked for a service - this wouldn't have mattered based on the original request to pick her up as my OH was happy for me to use his car for this. However, it doesn't allow for an overnight stay as with only one car between me and OH, one of us wouldn't have been able to get to work on time the next day and being on holiday, neither of us could request the next morning off.

I tell her I will try to change the service date for my car, but remind her that I'm on holiday and may not be able to get a reply from the garage straight away (I reality, I think this bit was my mistake, I should have just said it wasn't workable at this point).

The garage could not move my service and I let her know that I cannot stay overnight. I offer to collect her from the hospital if someone else is able to stay with her. At this point it's 4 days before the surgery.

Long story short, she has a massive rant at my via message and is no longer talking to me. She says I am selfish and have let her down.

I do feel bad that I wasn't able to help & understand why she feels a let down, but that her reaction is OTT. I feel that giving someone 6 days notice of the need for an overnight stay when they are on holiday & can't really sort the necessary things out isn't entirely fair and she should have seen that herself really.

It feels like it should be a storm in a teacup but it's been a couple of weeks now and she is still not talking to me.

Am I a selfish cow? Have I gone totally wrong here?

@Bluntness100

That does not make a lot of sense, she’s local to you, so why couldn’t you just go home in the morning so your husband could have the car, or him taxi to you to get it.

Is that the issue, you’re local to each other ans she feels that th excuse of your husband not being able to access the car even though it would be local to him as not believable?

OP wouldn't be able to guarantee to her husband when she could get home as friend might have needed a lot of help. And there is no reason whatsoever why he should have all the expense of a taxi - not forgetting that OP also would have to take a taxi to get home in that scenario.

Apart from the fact that this isn't a life- long friend of the OP, and that the OP wasn't asked, she was told "you must do this".
The whole reason for the nhs saying that a patient needs to stay in overnight unless they have someone at home isn't so a friend stays overnight then goes to work as usual early the next morning. It's so the patient has someone there to look after them, usually for 24 hours. So on collecting her from hospital the "friend" may well have complained that the OP planned to go to work next day.

Honestly she sounds quite self-centred and inflexible . It's her way or nothing. Doubtless the OP has been a thoughtful friend during lockdown and the "friend" doesn't have anyone else to ask to stay overnight because other people know her a bit better and have shown their boundaries.

I bet the friend wouldn't comply if the OP had issued a "you must..." instruction.

What a bitchy person.
Terrible.
You were not in the wrong. She was.
Very much so
I would reconsider this friendship

OP, PlandeRaccordement has some very black and white views of the world in other threads, and in this case seems to have misunderstood the overnight stay element.

Please don’t feel you need to run around after your “friend” due to a very vocal minority.