Was I wrong to touch her child?

[WhatDoYouDo1234]

At a famous London attraction today with my 4 year old. She was playing on one of the interactive exhibits. There was a long queue behind us. Another little girl about 3 kept running up and putting her hands on what my daughter was doing. Think an interactive drawing, so each time she touched it the screen cleared and my daughter’s drawing was lost. There was no parent anywhere near. First time I said gently “No, it’s not your turn, it’s this girl’s turn, you have to wait.” Or something to that effect. By the fifth or sixth time my daughter was getting increasingly cross, no matter how much I told her to be patient and try again, or how I tried to ask the other little girl to stop, and the kids behind us were getting cross too. I’m trying to prevent my daughter from loosing her cool. So I actually removed the girl’s hands and gently lifted her back saying “It’s not your turn. You have to wait.” A mum then came storming up shouting at me “Not to effing touch my child again!” To which I said something like “Well maybe if you were watching her you could have sorted it.” So my question is not if I was unreasonable, I probably was, but what do you do in that situation? With hindsight I’m thinking I should have called out for someone to come and get their child? But it was all quite quick! What would you do?!

I would have used my body to block the child from interfering

To those saying she should have moved her own daughter (who was doing nothing wrong and putting up with a lot), that's how we end up with girls who don't feel able to set their own boundaries. We tell them to put up with stuff, and to change their own behaviour (often at their cost), to accommodate something that is clearly not ok.

Not a problem for me, although possibly it would be better to block the child's way rather than take her hands and lift her. Although I can imagine her crying/hitting out at you if you did that.
I might alternatively have called out 'Who is this child with?'

to act like a bouncer against a 3 year old is as embarrassing as it is counterproductive.
You've come across some pretty ineffectual bouncers if you think they act like the OP did

@LittleMissMe99

I would have used my body to block the child from interfering

Was just about to say this. While I don't think there's anything at all wrong with touching another child in that situation, to prevent an unreasonable outburst from the inattentive parent, just putting your entire arm between the two children would have done the trick.

WhatDoYouDo1234 After the 2nd time I would have called out.

Don’t fret about this @WhatDoYouDo1234 A looong time ago, we were at a pub with a big wooden activity thing, my DS was about 4 so I was with him the whole time. Another boy, slightly older, came to play & that was fine except there were hanging ropes to climb down that my DS could do with assistance. The boys mother sat in the pub window & did not in any way, shape or form supervise his safety on this equipment. Obviously he wanted to descend the ropes too, I said you can’t ask your parents, he waved at them pointed but they didn’t shift. He then attempted to do it by himself & I managed to reach & break his fall. The mother came out then, no sorry, thank you nor any acknowledgment that if I’d not been there, he’d have hurt himself. Now, it just so happens that this was a relatively famous actress, who I understand has subsequently had two more children who were sadly put into care for neglect. Surprised? Not one bit.

sorry that should obviously say ‘you can* ask your parents.

you did nothing wrong, funnily enough had this discussion only last night as yesterday my husband took our kids to the park, and this 7/8 yr old lad had climbed to the top of this helter skelter slide, and was on the roof, and stuck.
The boy was quietly crying and my husband could see the panic in his face, he looked around but couldn't see any other adult nearby, so he climbed up, helped the lad down, but the boy almost fell (he was very shaky) so my husband picked him up and carried him the rest of the way down.
Cue the screams of this mum who had been off walking her dog to 'get the f&^ off my son now!'
My husband almost laughed seeing as the lad could have been so hurt. He explained what had happened and the Mum was still huffy but begrudgingly said thanks as she stormed off.
Unreal. I get why people panic, but then, if you DO give a c&p about your kids, stay in sight of them!!!!

NBU

Yanbu the parents should’ve been supervising it

You were complete in the right. IWBNFA. I am sick, tired and fed up of out of control kids wreaking havoc, and pathetic parents doing zero to deal with it. I had a child trying to take food from my plate once, and I held her hand before she could grab the food. The "cats bum mouth" parent stormed over and accused me of "assaulting" her child. "So I should just have let her take it, then?". "It's just a few chips", she answered.

She then threatened to call the manager and the police. I told her "Be my guest", and she stormed off back to her table, glaring at me throughout the remainder of the meal. I was heavily tempted to wander over and take a few of her chips from her plate as well.

I couldn't help noticing that she hadn't actually bought anything to eat for her daughter, which may have explained why she resorted to stealing from complete strangers.

These are the kind of people who contest school exclusions for physical violence "because the child he/she assaulted gave my daughter a dirty look". Frankly, the daughter could have done anything and the mother would have made an excuse for her. Heaven help her in adulthood

Children are so self entitled these days and it's not your fault that other parents don't like to parent their own children. It's a mega problem in society at the moment it really is! You did the right thing tbh!

@LittleMissMe99

I would have used my body to block the child from interfering

Frankly, I think the hysterical mum would have kicked off about that as well. Your daughter should, of course, have abandoned her activities and let this entitled little madam have free rein - according to the mum

I would have moved my daughter to be honest. You don’t touch other children for behaviour reasons. There’s only a few times I’ve ever moved a strangers child. Once was a little girl who ran out of a shop as I was leaving. I grabbed her and pulled her just inside the door and a lady ran over and thanked me. Another was a boy at the top of a slide (quite large for the age of the other children in the playground). He was perhaps 7 years old and playing in a toddler section. He was pushing in the queue on the slide and coming down without waiting. He went to go as my daughter was still midway coming down the slide (she was 1.5 years old) and he would’ve squashed her! I put my arm out so he couldn’t go until she was off. His Dad ran forward and I said sharply “your son needs to wait his turn or he’ll injure someone” and the dad went red and moved the boy to the next slide.

I would of said watch your fuckin kid then mother of the year.

I wouldn't have touched the brat, but I would have yelled "Go Away" an inch from her face.

Don't worry about it, you are right if the mother was actually watching her child then you wouldn't have had to touch her child, mother seems so rude... that's probably why the child is the same! Uncalled for, you didn't do any wrong!

I think everyone should be equipped with a giant butterfly net for trapping and controlling other people's spoilt brats without the need to touch them.

No you should not touch another child. You should shout " whose kid is this, before I call lost kids?". As others have said, block her contact and yell for her parents. Bawl them out. But don't touch.

People saying it was ok, I appreciate op meant no harm and you want to reassure her but it's not ok.

You moved her hand, not drop kicking her across the room in front of everyone.

If she can see you moving her kids hand then she could see what was going on before, it’s always them shit mums that let their kids ruin things for everyone that kick off, but never see what their little darlings are doing.
You didn’t do anything wrong and the people saying you should have queued up again 😂 Probably the same type of people that let their kids run riot to ruin others days out!!

No. You do not touch another child. You should have acted as an ADULT, and either have stood between your child and the screen or accepted that this wasn't going well and moved on, enquiring where the person responsible for this wretched child was hiding themself. And if you were worried about your daughter losing her cool and whacking another child then you really need to look at your own parenting skills tbh

@Elisemum

I can’t believe people said you were meant to move your daughter. Why? She was playing and it was her turn to play, why would you ever move he becouse another child was ruining he fun? You did the right thing and you were very good not to actually do more than that. That child’s mother was an idiot.

This.

I'd have done the same op because If I had tried to move DS instead of the other child at that age while it was is turn he'd have had a massive meltdown and also would probably have hit the other child.

He would have been fine coming off when his turn was over as I'd have explained in advance and given him count downs but removing him before his turn was up and before he had a chance to have a proper go because another child was preventing him... Well let's just say that that would have resulted in a fallout that was much worse than another parent being annoyed at me that I had touched their child.

It’s fine.

Walking to my local shops earlier this year when distancing was more of a 'thing' than now, a mother and two children were ahead of me on a fairly narrow pavement.
Mum stopped to attend to her child in a buggy and the other child, aged about 6, stood on the edge of the pavement meaning I had to walk in the road to pass them.
As I stepped around the boy he, not looking behind him, flung out his arm with some sort of toy in it and I, not wanting to get run over by moving further out, out my hand on his head, quite lightly whilst stepping around him.
In a very loud voice he said to his oblivious mother, 'Mummy, that lady touched my head.' He repeated it several times as I walked on and it made me feel really awkward.
In the OP's position I would have blocked the child and let mine finish the drawing but I also agree with other comments re calling loudly for the mother to keep control of her child.
5 times would not have happened. Twice max then more.