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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you view someone differently if they swear?

354 replies

Speckledhem · 24/10/2021 10:22

I don’t really mind the odd swear word - I swear myself from time to time, but why do people swear inappropriately as in normal sentences or use the C word? Its not that it offends, It’s just really quite repulsive both spoken or written down, I just switch off and lose any respect I would have had for this person.

Is it a regional thing? People just don’t talk like that in my area

OP posts:
MegSpace · 24/10/2021 11:43

Depends on the context, I usually just accept that it is part of who they are or how they are able to express themselves as long as they are not actually swearing at me, I wouldn't hang around if my children were with me though.

Silenceisgolden20 · 24/10/2021 11:43

How do you mean view someone differently OP? How would you view someone who doesn't swear, would that person be a better perosn in your eyes?

SarahBellam · 24/10/2021 11:44

I fucking love swearing. You like to judge, so really me swearing makes us both happy.

liveforsummer · 24/10/2021 11:47

@Speckledhem

I don’t really mind the odd swear word - I swear myself from time to time, but why do people swear inappropriately as in normal sentences or use the C word? Its not that it offends, It’s just really quite repulsive both spoken or written down, I just switch off and lose any respect I would have had for this person.

Is it a regional thing? People just don’t talk like that in my area

Possibly regional - you'd not get far with those feelings living in Scotland 😆
Sofiegiraffe · 24/10/2021 11:47

@zigzag56445

It's all about the context.

This.

Disfordarkchocolate · 24/10/2021 11:48

I only judge those who don't know how to gauge their audience. I don't want swearing in front of small children, and I think a lot of older grandparents don't like it either.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 24/10/2021 11:49

Yanbu. I swear every now and then. I love a good For Fucks Sakes when appropriate.

But I have no time for people who use "fucken" or "cunt" every other word. Amber from Love Island sticks in my mind particuarly for this for some reason. She had a lot going for her but it was a proper turn off.

Woeismethischristmas · 24/10/2021 11:50

@WomanStanleyWoman

I judge people who don’t swear. I just know I’m going to find them a bit pious and po-faced.
Same!
Silenceisgolden20 · 24/10/2021 11:51

Oh I re read your original post, you mean you lose respect for that person.

Doubt they give a fuck to be honest.

What a stupid thread

alloalloallo · 24/10/2021 11:52

General sweariness, no I don’t.

My DD has Tourette’s with coprolalia so I don’t tend to notice it any more. I’m used to ignoring it so it doesn’t really catch my attention if you see what I mean.

Depends on the context I guess. If someone is behaving like an intimidating arse, swearing at someone or something like that I do

WomanStanleyWoman · 24/10/2021 11:55

@QueenofKattegat

I rarely swear nor does anyone I mix with. If someone swears in my company I will pull them up and ask them to not use such foul language for which there is no excuse

You'd honestly attempt to chastise an adult for the words they choose to use? Please do it and let me know how many different ways you're told to fuck off.

I bet it works though. I’m sure these people never swear in her company again.

Granted, it’s because they do everything they can to make sure they are never IN her company again, but I suppose the end result is the same…

Moonface123 · 24/10/2021 11:59

A lot of the time l think it's unnecessary, it doesn't offend me as such, l just find it boring. I have found some people swear and talk a certain way they normally wouldn't, just to try and fit in, or for attention.
I don't surround myself with people who swear a lot as l find their conversations very dull and limiting.

SpookyPumpkinPants · 24/10/2021 12:01

I don't like it in a couple of the examples above where it's every second word in every sentence.

I can be quite sweary depending on who I'm with & the situation, but like most adults I know, I can 'read the room' & moderate my language.

What I never do and cannot stand is swearing AT people. I don't mean 'shut the fucking door!' I mean 'you're a stupid bitch'. & it's more the aggression than the words I think. Or swearing at children in any situation such as 'pick up your fucking toys' but 'shut your fucking mouth' is FAR worse.

I prefer not to be around people who say they never swear & especially not people like the poster who says she'd pull people up on it , sanctimonious twat!

Capricornandproud · 24/10/2021 12:01

For those of you who have never been to Ireland and judge swearing… brace yourself!

Sofiegiraffe · 24/10/2021 12:01

@Capricornandproud

For those of you who have never been to Ireland and judge swearing… brace yourself!

Or Newcastle..... 😂

merryhouse · 24/10/2021 12:03

I'm not sure how the word "cunt" is "really quite repulsive both spoken or written down" - it's just four letters and means a "contemptible person" - and most people say it regularly without realising it (by using words like "country" or "Scunthorpe" - although the latter is quite offensive, of course).

@HarrietsChariot Seriously? You have no idea why the word cunt has come to mean a contemptible person? Or why it's felt to be a huge insult for a man? Or why those two facts together make it seem aggressive and offensive to women?

(Also, you don't say it in Scunthorpe. Country yes I'll grant you - Shakespeare takes advantage of that a couple of times - but the t in Scunthorpe is part of the digraph th.)

Alwayswantedasmegf · 24/10/2021 12:03

No I don't think because someone swears it tells you anything really. What do you think it reveals OP?

LindaEllen · 24/10/2021 12:04

It depends entirely on how they use the words. There's a difference between saying 'for fuck's sake that's so rubbish' when someone tells you a bad joke (i.e. with a wry smile on your face and the other person is grinning too) and calling someone a stupid fucking cunt with venom in your voice. A huge difference.

thing47 · 24/10/2021 12:07

If someone swears in my company I will pull them up and ask them to not use such foul language for which there is no excuse.

I don't need an excuse. I am a fully grown adult who can use whatever words I choose. If you don't like how I speak you are free to fuck off Grin

icedcoffees · 24/10/2021 12:10

@Cryalot2

I rarely swear nor does anyone I mix with. If someone swears in my company I will pull them up and ask them to not use such foul language for which there is no excuse.
Do you have nothing better to do with your time?
Bettybantz · 24/10/2021 12:11

I want to know where OP lives that people don’t swear

Gilead · 24/10/2021 12:25

I rarely swear nor does anyone I mix with. If someone swears in my company I will pull them up and ask them to not use such foul language for which there is no excuse
I’d be telling you to grow up and to read a few essays on coprolalic language.
People who have the bloody cheek to ask adults not to swear in public are mealy mouthed and full of faux prissiness. It’s a nonsense.

pointythings · 24/10/2021 12:34

I judge people who get pearl clutchy about other people swearing. I haven't got time for that at all, it's just words. Swearing at people is usually unacceptable (unless in cases of severe provocation) but otherwise it isn't a big deal.

JaneJeffer · 24/10/2021 12:34

@Capricornandproud

For those of you who have never been to Ireland and judge swearing… brace yourself!
Indeed Grin
Smashingspinster · 24/10/2021 12:35

There seems to be a shift where things that people would say only in certain situations (explicit talk about sex for example) are also ok to say around other people. I was on a train the other day and had to sit in a group of 6, 4 of which were a group of young men in their 20s. The conversation they were having was disgusting. And there was a young family sat behind me who could hear every word. The whole I will say and do whatever I like and tough if you dont like it has gone too far.