Thanks for all the replies I will try and answer some questions.
Lots of people saying cmpa: if it was cmpa wouldn’t it be worse, at least a tiny bit, on Norma milk formula compared to breast? The cmp in breastmilk simply has to be less than in full fat milk? That’s why I’m not sure it is that, it stopped our first from sleeping too.
The reason both HV and gp gave said ‘don’t rock the boat’ is because he sleeps great for such a tiny human, that because he does go down for 2-3 hour stretches in the day and night he can’t be in that much pain. I tend to agree, with our first baby who had cmpa he could get to or stay asleep because he was so incredibly uncomfortable.
The birth was ok for him I think not ok for me. His head was engaged but his body was transverse and the cord was wrapped around his neck. Contractions and pushing did nothing so we had cat 2 emcs.
Lactose intolerance: in infants that’s called galactosemia and is a super rare genetic condition which is life threatening and would have been picked up before we’d even left hospital. Sometimes the body doesn’t produce enough lactase due to inflammation (solving whatever is causing the inflammation will fix it too) so coleif drops which contain lactase should solve it if it’s that.
His legs, ah another interesting point, they always are up squished and tight looks like he has trapped wind. But again he came out like that, his hips/ankles were checked three times because he looked so crumpled up. All ok. He still looks like it though, it makes nappy change’s difficult because they’re tight up and crossed across his genitals.
Lots saying cranial osteopath, with the positioning of his body/legs point to that working? We don’t have lots of money but we’re desperate to spend if it’ll work.
Re: leaving the baby to cry if fed/changed. I physically can’t do that, neither can DH, that’s why we get so frantic trying to help. New positions, new belly stroking rhythms, new heights bouncing around the room.. whilst awake we are constantly trying to soothe him it is exhausting mentally.
I know calling him it is sad, most of all for me, I grew him for 9 long months went through a major abdominal surgery to get him out, felt a rush of love and protective instinct the second I held him and … now.. I get anxious the moment he stirs, I can’t wait for DH to take him shopping/out or for someone else to hold him. It’s awful. I want it to change, that’s why we’re desperately trying anything anyone says.
I probably do have pnd, that’s why I called the gp about me, I’m just not sure I see much point? Medication takes up to a month to kick in, cbt waiting list is about the same length of time here. I do have bupa but I recently changed it to family cover which is more diagnosis rather than cure so can’t help with this. I have absolutely no doubt that if he just stopped crying our moods would improve enormously. We could then leave the house to exercise and get some fresh air. At the moment the day is spent swaying between anxiousness when he’s about to wake up to pure stress when he is awake. Like I said up thread we both get to the point where we’re sweating trying to soothe him we’re so stressed. Breathing techniques don’t work, we used those lots to help our first baby to sleep when he had cmpa, really helped calm him.
All of the otc medicine has been tried for > 2 weeks, except the probiotics that’s 5 days. Dentinox is great and he burps enormous man sized burps.
This morning for example woke up for food at 6:20 had few oz, burped, led down and cried until a moment ago when he dropped back off. In that time I tried rocking, shhing, tiger in the tree, bouncing around and swaying, tight cuddles skin on skin and nothing soothed him. Then I just sat there wide him draped over my leg rubbing his back and he eventually stopped crying and went to sleep.