To not be able to cope with this?

[saveusernamee]

Newborn baby that just cries, all the time, I mean literally from the minute it opens it’s eyes from a nap/sleep to the second it goes back. It sleeps great to be fair but I am definitely struggling to bond, so is DH, we just can’t face looking after a tiny ball of rage anymore.

Toddler that screams and throws anything/everything. Climbs everything. Tries to hurt newborn every second of the day.

Tonight toddler cried from getting out of the bath to going to sleep so just shy of an hour (been whining since about 3) and baby cried from 6:30 - just now as I write this. Nothing would console either of them. What the fuck are we meant to do? Just live with this chorus of tears? It’s absolute hell.

In the end I just ended up crying the whole time the baby did and saying I can’t do this anymore, not that that means anything.. there’s nowhere to go, this is our life now. DH is on antidepressants and waiting CBT. I called the GP but didn’t see the point so didn’t go to my appointment. Everyone tells us it’s normal and not to wish the time away…. are they even serious? Have they not seen how bad life is?

[theremustonlybeone]

My youngest from the age of two weeks olds screamed and screamed , i was BF and my nipples were blistered as he would suckle all day. Turned out he had a severe tongue tie, got that snipped but then diagnosed with reflux but ranitidine was the wonder drug. I had a happy baby. My GP was supportive and told me a baby screaming all day was not normal an asupported me resolving it. I also had to take him for a scan to ensure their wasnt any issues in his tummy.

[Scotmum83]

Did you have a difficult birth at all? Wondering if there’s pain somewhere if everything else has been ruled out. My nephew was massive when he was born, got stuck and had a pretty horrendous forceps birth. Looking back we think he was in pain as he never stopped crying. cranial
Osteopathy is supposed to help
And maybe something to look at.

[silverbubbles]

This sounds really horribly hard.

Can you afford to get a maternity nurse to come and help you for a few weeks? Someone experienced to help you solve the issues and to allow you to get some rest aswell so that you are better placed to deal with he baby

I know they are eye wateringly expensive but it might be money well spent?

[MagnusMagnusson]

Have you tried a cranial osteopath OP? I had two C sections and was advised to take babies to cranial osteopath. Did so and it resolved some issues with the first for sure. The second not as much, she was still colicky but worth ruling out. Really sorry you are going through this hell. It doesn't matter that it will pass, it's horrendous living in it. xx

[positivity123]

My advice is don't try and cherish every moment because a lot of the time with 2 young kids is crap. Do take lots of photos as you'll remember the nice bits. Try and get outside every day. It will pass. Best of luck lovely.

[Babyroobs]

@AlbertBridge

Sorry, cross post.

Have you tried the cherry dummies? The ones Ruth the big fat round r DH's, not the thin ones?

A friend had a non-stop crying baby and cranial osteopathy really helped.

I can't believe how hard this must be for both of you.

I would second the cranial Osteopathy. My ds2 cried a lot ( colic) and after a session on cranial osteopathy this was the first time he really settled for a long period of time.

[lisaandalan]

Have to taken the baby to the drs it may have colic or something. X

[MummyCroft]

It could be CMPA. You'd need to try non dairy for 2 weeks. It takes that long for it to leave their system. It's so hard. I've not had a full night's sleep with mine she's 16 months. Wakes about 2 times a night. She was waking every hour for a long time. What keeps me going is that she won't need the boob when she's 18. I've had to cut out milk, egg and soya since Jan. I BF and she has allegies. I miss chocolate.

[VainAbigail]

@Spongeboob

There are two of you vs two kids. You need to tag team them equally. You're not outnumbered. Stop referring to baby as "it" that'll just push the aversion you're feeling. You're a team, you need to coordinate.

Agree with this completely.

The “it” thing is very sad though.

[lisaandalan]

Cranial osteopath. X

[TheVolturi]

Oh my goodness it's so absolutely shite op I've been there! My first was awful. He literally cried the whole time and never slept. Comfort milk helped him a tiny bit I think. I was scared of him at one point because no matter what I did, he cried. I felt like a failure because he was just a baby and everyone has babies right? What's so hard about a baby? I tell you what's hard, a baby that cries and cries and cries and refuses to sleep! There was very little joy in those early weeks and possibly months. He did get better as he became less newborn.
Really really loud white noise (mine liked the sound of a stream) played constantly was a massive help.
This will pass op and you will get there, honestly.

[impossiblypossibly]

@MummyCroft

It could be CMPA. You'd need to try non dairy for 2 weeks. It takes that long for it to leave their system. It's so hard. I've not had a full night's sleep with mine she's 16 months. Wakes about 2 times a night. She was waking every hour for a long time. What keeps me going is that she won't need the boob when she's 18. I've had to cut out milk, egg and soya since Jan. I BF and she has allegies. I miss chocolate.

Agree with this! Sounds like you have tried any different things but if baby is only a month old then none if the things could have been used for very long. Specialist formula for CMPA won't have any effect within a day or two, likewise reflux meds. likely need longer to take affect and see and improvement

[User527294627]

Gosh you poor thing, sounds so so hard

I wouldn’t rule out CMPA just yet - it can take a few days at least for it to clear out of their system so you wouldn’t notice an improvement in a day or so. I would try cutting all dairy for two weeks to see if that helps things.

You’ll get there. Promise one day this will be a distant memory. Do whatever you have to to survive until it gets better.

[ArabellaScott]

Oh, OP. I'm so sorry. My firstborn was like that. It was hell. White noise, yes, skin to skin helped. Lots of baths together. It might be his gut settling, too. Or just colic. Sleeping tiger, tiger in the tree helped a bit sometimes. Sometimes you've just got to wait it out.

The thing that really turned it round was a craniosacral osteopath session. It fixed his latch, and he was much calmer after that. But I know not everyone is into this! My mum dragged us along.

I promise you it will get easier. Promise promise. Take good care. x

[Habbyhadno]

We had this with our second baby and it was hell on earth. The only way he would nap was if I was walking him upright in a buggy, I spent hours and hours pacing our estate at all times of the day.
Also, swaddling him up quite snugly seemed to help a bit, but turns out he had an intolerance to milk, we switched him to oatly as soon as we could and he was a different baby after that.
I found HIPP organic was much better than Aptamil or Cow & Gate, if you have a perfect prep don't use it, do the old school kettle stuff to make the bottle up, this helped a lot.
Also tried cranial osteopathy but no idea if that helped but worth a shot.

It is hell OP, I remember every second of it and I ended up in tears to match him most days, keep going though. It WILL get better eventually. Sorry you're having to deal with this.

[Habbyhadno]

Obvs you can't use oatly with a tiny baby, just felt the need to clarify.

[Ozberry]

The biggest shock for me with my second baby was that what worked for the first didn’t work for the second. They are different people and need different parenting. Everyone says second time around is easier because you know what you are doing. Not in our case. It was my second time being a mum but his first time being a baby so it was all new to him.
It’s early days for you. Your bond will grow. One day you’ll catch yourself in a moment of loveliness. But till then, I’d really try with the going out. Cabin fever kicks in a million times quicker in babies. If outside is hard work, what’s the soft play situation where you are? I know it’s commonly perceived as hell here, but letting the toddler wear themselves out while you breastfeed in peace may actually feel like a break. I lived there for a couple of very rainy summers.

[peachesarenom]

I'm another one to say the baby must be suffering in some way. It's gonna be quite an effort to find out what's bugging the little one. I hope you find out soon.

Sounds like you're in the middle of a really tough time. All you can do is keep looking for help. I've not had any problems like this but I have found Facebook mum groups a god send!

Defo join some groups and see what the mum experts have to say. Babies don't cry like this for no reason. I trust the mum's who have been looking for help and found solutions more than a GP. They help you to know what questions to ask the GP. They help you see a way forward.

Good luck OP!

[EmotionalSupportBear]

i had a couple of screamers. i do think you need to investigate CMPA a bit more, and give the alternative formula a bit longer.

That being said, what used to work with my two was a decent swaddle, and being put in the bouncy chair.. the ones made of wire.. i literally used to sit with my foot on one side and physically bounce the seat myself, worked a lot of the time to quiet them both down.

i've since found out they're both on the spectrum, so i do wonder some if it was a case of sensory overload, which might be why the bouncing/swaddling helped.. the other thing that did was car rides.. and on the BAD days, i would hand them off to my mother and she'd give me a bit of peace/support.

[RussianSpy101]

I don’t want to worry you, but I would get baby to the GP.
I also think you’d benefit from going, as I agree with a PP about PND.

Please don’t call baby it. I know it’s hard right now but you’re all this baby knows and needs. Was he/she prem?

[ALittleBitWorrriedNow]

Are either of them poorly? Sometimes when you’re tired it can be easy to miss x

[steppemum]

First of all, huge sympathy, because it sounds like hell.

BUT you have listed a huge list of things you have tried, gaviscon, different formula, etc etc.
but your baby is only a month old!

I think you need to revisit some of those things. Try it for one whole week, before you ditch it. If there is an allergy, it will take days for it to clear the system, and start to settle.
If it is colic and you try gaviscon, again, it can take days to make a difference.

I actually wonder if all the switching and changing is making it worse.

[betterchangemynamequick]

I've been there OP, DC2 screamed from the minute they were born and we had a 1.5 yr old also. HV and GP were dismissive, I was at my wits' end. Everyone told me it would get easier. They were right but it didn't help much at the time. We did a lot of getting outdoors, baby seemed easier outdoors and toddler was occupied.
Try to tag team as PP suggested, take turns with baby and toddler. I worked hard on a daytime nap schedule, took baby out in pram and walked them to asleep. The schedule became sacred, it def helped. Nights consisted of cosleeping with baby on boob with the YouTube hairdryer video playing 🤯. It wasn't fun but honestly, it won't last forever.
Do see your GP if only to check everything is ok. Try and get some respite if you have anyone to take one/both kiddies now and then or coincide their naps!

[VividImaginationAgain]

Have you family or friends that can help. My sisters first baby was like this and my mum used to walk with her in the pram between feeds and some days my sister would drive to mine and have coffee whilst dh and I took turns of walking about with her. She cried day and night and only slept for for around an hour between feeds.

My sister tried homeopathy, cranial osteopathy and cut out dairy completely whilst feeding her. I think you need more hands on deck if have any. My niece is now doing her masters and is very clever but has always been and and is still a fairly sensitive soul!

[ALittleBitWorrriedNow]

I’d definitely recommend a cranial osteopath for bubbs - childbirth is not just tough us mums.