to be annoyed DH is going on a stag weekend to Amsterdam?

[JinglyJangly]

DH is going on a stag weekend after Christmas to Amsterdam and too be honest, I am not too happy about it. I have heard what really goes on and why men go there, i.e. sex shops, brothels, live sex shows etc.

The blokes he is going with are a bunch of knobs. I have heard the majority of them frequent these types of places (only from what DH has said).

DH went on a stag weekend to Edinburgh a few years back and the guy who's stag party it was, was well up for visiting a brothel and guess what? he is going on the stag weekend to Amsterdam .

AIBU to be annoyed about him going? I am feeling a bit down in the dumps today and keep thinking all sorts about what they will get up too.

Whatever happened to guys going for a few beers at the local? It seems the norm for stag weekends to be held abroad nowadays. WHY is that?

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JJ - You are wrong re "I bet the majority [of prostitutes] are forced".

As I said before and you ignored completely, I actually researched this subject at some point and talked to quite a few window girls and brothel workers (different things) in Amsterdam. I have not come across one who did not want to be there. Many had boyfriends (not pimps) who were OK with what they were doing for a living (strange but true). Most were not Dutch, and came to town for several months to a couple of years, to make money fast for their studies/friends/house etc in a place where nobody knows them. Incidentally, there is no stigma against prostitutes. They have otherwise normal lives and normal friends.

Sure, there might be some forced prostitution in Amsterdam, but it is much less than anywhere else in the world. This is because prostitutes are regulated by the state, they pay taxes, and they have very regular check-ups. Not only for physical hygiene but for psychological evaluations. It is highly likely that the state officials would catch any wrongdoing like a girl forced into prostitution.

Please give me a sign that you understand me this time. I am beginning to despair at your insistence on your prejudices.

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Yes I do remember your post & I am sure you are right about 'most' of it, but according to Elizabeths post on page 21, there is quite a problem in Amsterdam with trafficking women for prostitution and this worries me.

Well perhaps if you ask your dh to ensure that if he is going to go to a brothel, he makes sure it's a registered brothel that might ease your mind about the potential for exploitation?
If that's your primary concern.....

Pooka, it is not my primary concern I wouldn't want him to sleep with any women whether trafficked or not.

I just think married men that travel to Amsterdam for a stag w'end are very sad, I just don't get it, sorry. That is just my opinion & I know not everyone will agree.

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To an extent I agree with you - I think that men travelling to another country with a primary purpose of sleeping with prostitutes is sad.
However..... I remain to be convinced that that is the reason why men have stag weekends in Amsterdam. Refers back to the previous (many posts) giving a list of reasons for stag/hen trips to Amsterdam.

So CoteDAzure interviewed every prostitute in Amsterdam did she? I think not. And how do you know where Elizabeth got her information from?

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Oh and out of interest (and since this was what the thread was originally about), did you talk to your dh about it? Think you said that you'd broach it today. Is he still going to go?

"Sure, there might be some forced prostitution in Amsterdam, but it is much less than anywhere else in the world. "

This is simply wrong. The country which has the lowest rates of trafficking and forced prostitution is Sweden, where paying for sex is illegal.

As for interviewing prostitutes, if they are still in the business, their pimps will be around. It's like interviewing a woman in a domestic violence situation and asking her if she's happy in her marriage.

If you are so well-versed on the state of prostitution in Amsterdam Cote d'Azur, why aren't you aware of the authorities there trying to shut down a third of the brothels in the city because of the criminality surrounding them? What about the fact that the council also closed down the Tippelzone (street prostitution tolerance zone) because of the criminality and pimps that surrounded it. Legalisation of prostitution isn't working in Amsterdam, what it has done is legitimise johns (the men who pay for sex) and increase demand, a demand that is met by human trafficking.

b JingleJangle

I do have a lot of sympathy with you because you've taken quite a hammering here, because this subject rouses a lot of VERY strong opnions and dare I suspect it IS a sore point for a lot of people. (NB Am sure you don't need me or anyone else to stick up for you as you are clearly capable of doing that!)

Honestly, if I had a DP/DH I too would be worrying 'what if..maybe...'. I think most people surely would have that worry at the back of their minds, however irrational they might feel it is. You're not a bad person for thinking it, IMO.

As an aside, I'm just wondering if anyone has had a DP/H/X who has used prostitutes, because I have. It certainly shocked me.

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"Elizabetths post was a strange article about problems with trafficking in Amsterdam."

Yeah, the International Herald Tribune is renowned for publishing "strange" articles. Snigger.

I was just providing the actual facts to counter the "rah-rah prostitution is great in Amsterdam" claims that have been bandied around this thread. The Amsterdam authorities don't agree with you given that they are trying to close a third of the city's brothels and have already closed one street prostitution "tolerance" zone.

Pooka - yes I have talked to DH about it & he has decided not to go .

Oh well I'm glad that it's resolved.

See I would say that makes your dh very trustworthy JinglyJangly. Trustworthy men don't want to be put in situations like that - even if they aren't doing anything, they could be complicit in what their mates might get up to.

NotDoingTheHousework
(Great username btw)

It is mind boggling and I sadly I suspect more common than we actually think. I've had more than one boyfriend who did it.

Not while I was with them as far as I know.

JinglyJangly
Glad you were able to talk to your DH.

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