Is it okay to wear black jeans to a ‘wake’?

[Peridotty]

My DH is going to a family member’s viewing. He has a black shirt but no black suit trousers or black shoes. The family member passed away suddenly and the cremation is happening tomorrow. He is flying to there in 4 hours time so no time to buy anything new. He has black jeans and blue trainers. Would that be okay or not? There is no funeral but it’s a 30 minute viewing before the cremation.

If that is all he has got then no other choice.

Does he have a dark coloured suit he could wear instead though, even if not black?

@matildalThink No he doesn’t have a suit at all.

IMO that would be fine

If he's flying they'll just be glad hes been able to wear it.

I think it depends on the family. People will have different views on the importance of wearing black, formality etc. Personally I would go slightly smarter but not necessarily black. That seems more respectful to me. But other people might feel differently. And the most important thing is to be there.

Make it not wear it!

Is it in Ireland @Peridotty?

I don’t think it’s appropriate tbh

@qualitygirl no it’s not, in the US.

No it would be disrespectful. Jeans are casual wear.

Better to be there whatever the outfit.

Why ask if there is literally nothing he can do about it?

If he wants to he might well be able to buy black trousers at either the departing or arrival airport, it might be worth checking what shops they have, but many in the UK have an M&S which will have black trousers and shoes for example.

I don't think anyone will notice. Him being there and being respectful is the important thing.

He doesn't need to wear black. Most people don't anymore. A pair of trousers, a shirt and proper shoes, rather than trainers, would be smarter.

It’s fine. He’s there, that’s the important thing.

If that's all he's got it'll have to do but it's pretty shocking that an adult man doesn't own a single suit or smart outfit suitable for a funeral.

In my family, that wouldn't really be suitable, but it depends from one family to the next

I think smart is more important than black

@PheasantsNest

No it would be disrespectful. Jeans are casual wear.

I don't think it's in any way disrespectful. Turning up in clean, non scruffy clothes is all that's needed to show respect. However, a slightly smarter, non-black outfit would be more appropriate.

Ah I see, well if it was Ireland then ANYTHING goes at a wake. But I'm really not sure in the US. However I doubt anyone will actually be concerned as to what trousers your dh will be wearing I'm thinking they'll be happy that he made the effort to get over there to be honest.

I would find it disrespectful, especially the trainers. I can't believe a grown man doesn't have a pair of trousers or proper shoes.

@Beefmeupscotty

If that's all he's got it'll have to do but it's pretty shocking that an adult man doesn't own a single suit or smart outfit suitable for a funeral.

If you're quite young and / or your job never requires you to dress smart, I can understand it

@MatildaIThink

If he wants to he might well be able to buy black trousers at either the departing or arrival airport, it might be worth checking what shops they have, but many in the UK have an M&S which will have black trousers and shoes for example.

Also to add, in the UK, supermarkets are still open and many sell clothes, any on the way to the airport?

Everyone should have a funeral- appropriate outfit handy. When you get to my age, you know you'll use it. 😥

It catches everyone the first time, though. The main thing is he's getting a flight and going. With any luck, a relative will have some smart black trousers pants to lend him.

@Beefmeupscotty his job doesn’t require him to wear a suit (software engineer so he lives in T shirts plus he WFH). He owns a suit and nice shoes from our wedding but that’s not here with us. He literally just does casual wear.