Is it okay to wear black jeans to a ‘wake’?

[Peridotty]

My DH is going to a family member’s viewing. He has a black shirt but no black suit trousers or black shoes. The family member passed away suddenly and the cremation is happening tomorrow. He is flying to there in 4 hours time so no time to buy anything new. He has black jeans and blue trainers. Would that be okay or not? There is no funeral but it’s a 30 minute viewing before the cremation.

@NewlyGranny

Everyone should have a funeral- appropriate outfit handy. When you get to my age, you know you'll use it. 😥

It catches everyone the first time, though. The main thing is he's getting a flight and going. With any luck, a relative will have some smart black trousers pants to lend him.

Whatever he does, do not have him turn up in just pants! ;)

Does he have any other dark trousers?
Does he have any shoes apart from blue trainers?

He could buy something very cheap from Walmart or Mervyns or something...

All else fails, black socks over the trainers if they are a bright blue

It's fine. People nowadays wear all sorts to a funeral.

@jackstini

Socks over trainers???

Are you saying you are away from home so do not have a suit only jeans and trainers?

Can he pop to the shops at his destination? Trainers are not appropriate. The US is rather traditional when it comes to stuff like this.

I’d say it’s fine, especially if people know he’s flown in at the last minute.

I’d check the shops at the airport - if there’s any extra cash - or ask a male relative or friend attending the wake if they could lend him a pair of trousers for the day?

[quote Peridotty]@jackstini

Socks over trainers???[/quote]
Back in the 90s and early 00s when nightclubs had bans on white trainers, boys would take their dark coloured socks off and put them on over their white trainers. I don't think it is appropriate here though!

@Peridotty - yep. If the trainers are bright blue it's a quick fix - eyes won't be drawn to them and no one will notice

(Separately - it's also a solution if you ever want to get into a club or smart restaurant and they don't allow trainers )

@Bonsaibreaker I believe he left his suit at my house in the U.K. because he didn’t think he needed it anymore but I wouldn’t want him to wear our wedding suit to a funeral.

In my view, shirt and black jeans- fine. Trainers - disrespectful. Horses for courses.

@EileenGC good idea. I just suggested that he ask his brother for a pair of black trousers. He might have a pair. But he will still have to wear blue trainers as they are the darkest colour he owns. He only has two pairs of shoes and the other pair is white.

He is super minimalistic when it comes to clothing. Only wants to buy a few pairs of pants, just enough socks, 2 pairs of shoes and one pair of blue jeans and one black jeans. He hates shopping for clothes.

It’s too late now, but what colour are his shoes? Did he not have a brown pair or could he borrow a pair from his brother? Most men have at least one pair of black shoes.

Can he not just spend £30 and buy some pants and black shoes?

Also what is he saving his wedding suit for?
I mean if its top hat and tails granted not funeral appropriate but if it's just a dark coloured suit then why not wear it?

It would be ok in the US in most circumstances.

He should wear formal black shoes with the jeans and shirt.

A black jacket or coat wouldn't go amiss over the outfit if he has either article.

He should bring a sombre condolence card. There will be baskets at the crematorium to drop it into.

I've been to a lot of American wakes in mainly RC circles. People wear black, but nobody expects complete formality.

This is a weird thread. You’ve already said it’s too late for him to do anything about it so why ask in the first place?

You don’t have to keep justifying why he has no smart clothes on hand, I think we get the gist.

I’ve never known a wake to have a dress code.

I’ve never known a wake to have a dress code.

Isn't it more an unwritten rule?
You wear your Sunday best/formal wear out of respect?

@Pachonga wasn’t sure if there was a dress code. I googled it and it said that they could be casual events but other sites say they should dress formally.
@Bonsaibreaker don’t think cheap options like that exist here. He isn’t keeping the suit for anything but just saw no reason to bring it with him from the U.K. along with all the other baggage we had to bring.

Is he in the US?

No goodwill?
Charity shops?
Where is he staying Rodeo Drive?

Isn't it more an unwritten rule?
You wear your Sunday best/formal wear out of respect?

Not where I am. You wear nice clothes, clean, ironed, but certainly not Sunday best or formal wear! More like you would dress if going out to dinner somewhere nice.

And certainly not black.

If that's all he has .
Could he borrow, or hire?
Why if it were possible would you not want him wearing your wedding suit to a funeral?
Dh is a casual dresser and as a family we keep a set of hospital and funeral clothes . We discovered amid lockdown we needed 2 white shirts and thankfully tesco were open and got sorted.
I guess if people know your dh then they will know his dress mode.

Where is that if you don't mind me asking?