To think it Is it a feasible proposal that a school might consider allowing a currently pregnant Year 12 the opportunity to repeat year 12 next yeara currently pregnant currently pregnant year 12

[redhilary]

I have reposted this thread from chat due to limited traffic.

Is it a feasible proposal that a school might consider allowing a currently pregnant year 12 girl the opportunity to repeat Year 12 next year.

They should make reasonable adjustments so that she can be included despite the circumstances she finds herself in.

Having said that, people think sixth form colleges will give poor results but mine was great and I did well. I think they can give more consideration to young adults as human beings than can a cold, solely academically-minded school/beurocracy.

There is a point where you have to look at how realistic study with looking after the baby actually is. I did my dissertation with a newborn and it nearly killed me. It was one of the most hideous experiences and by the time I handed it in, I was basically hallucinating as I was so tired. I think you need to find the most supportive environment for her and that may well be the college. I found it stressful knowing my peers were doing their work without the pressures of a baby. When they moaned about how hard it was I just found them intensely irritating. Her life has changed and set her apart from her peers and that in itself can be quite a jolt.

@redhilary

Thank you Hamster and Getaway. I have known her all her life and I am her God Mother. I owe it to her and her mother who without, I would never of got of the floor from the mental and physical illness I suffered from 18- 24.

I know very well what my Darling God Daughter is going through right now. I am with her all the way, I will do everything in my power for her at this time.

OP you sound a wonderfully perfect Godmother...good luck

You sound very caring redhilary.
You are right of course that your God Daughter should not be discriminated against and I can quite understand why you and her Mum would want to fight against prejudice when you see it. But I would urge you to look at all options as that fight may not be in her best interests.
I can empathise with the dilemma though. Without going into details, I was extremely badly treated in a former workplace. I could have fought to keep my job and my union were confident I would have won, but it would have meant returning to a very toxic environment where I knew that my line manager would have just been waiting for the day that I was 5 minutes late or gave someone a funny look, and as it happened
a financially acceptable exit route presented itself. I was very torn between fighting because of the principle of the matter and leaving. In the end I did leave because I realised that I was in danger of getting embroiled in an unpleasant fight, the "prize" for which was something that wasn't really in my best interests. I'm sure my employers consider that they "won" and I am still annoyed that they got away with their behaviour but actually I'm much happier as I am now, and they still have a vacancy, so maybe I won really?
Different circumstances I know, but I think there are parallels. You could fight and win the grammar school place for your goddaughter but then that's just the start of it. If the school aren't fully supportive, as they may not be if they have been forced into it, then it could make an already difficult situation a lot worse. Going down an avenue that at first seems bad or unfair, might actually turn out better in the long run.
Obviously none of us know what your local provision is like so the suggested FE college may or may not be the answer, but do look at it, and what else there is locally. My friends who teach at our local FE college are, I believe, excellent teachers. Well they are certainly excellent human beings who have taken these kind of jobs precisely because they want to work with young people who have needs or circumstances that make mainstream schooling less suitable. I can't guarantee that all FE college staff are like that of course, but I know some are, so it is worth a look.

I worked at a school where a couple of girls resat year 12 or 13 due to pregnancy. Others also resat for other reasons. On the face of it, I think it’s reasonable.

However, my experiences of this were at a comprehensive that prided itself on pastoral care and was used to helping pupils with difficult home situations. Not all schools are that flexible, and IME grammar schools (and high-achieving comps) do sometimes prioritise their results over their students.

Even if you did get the school to eventually agree to her repeating year 12, I’d wonder whether she might be happier somewhere she didn’t have to battle SLT? Some colleges even have on-site nurseries, and they tend to be more used to supporting students in ‘unusual’ situations. With 7s at GCSE and the right work ethic, I’d expect your goddaughter to still do well.

Even if the school end up agreeing

In a sense it doesn’t matter if the grammar school is right or wrong. Fact is, they don’t want her. Why try to keep your child at a school they are unwanted - it won’t be a good environment for them especially at a time when they are navigating all sorts of new challenges.

Tell your friend that her dd will do her best in an environment that truly supports her, not one that has been forced to keep her through discrimination threats. And she may do better taking more time off and coming to her A levels when the baby is older, than trying to juggle it all earlier and burning out/melting down.

It takes years of coping strategies for High Functioning Autistic people to feel comfortable, building their wall. These walls can/will collapse if one brick is removed from them.

I think you will find having a baby will blow a hole wide open in that wall. It’s obvious current school is not the place to be when that happens, it’s setting the situation up for failure all around. She needs to take some time out at this point as her wall will essentially be shattered. Taking the next year to rebuild a new one that will look completely different to her previous one and then look to continue on at that point in a supportive environment (not the current one).

Please contact the following organisations to get definite legal advice:
www.ipsea.org.uk
www.sossen.org.uk

I got my DD's EHCP when she was 18 in year 13 so it can be done, I'd strongly recommend your friend applies now as the local authority will need to get an Ed psych report done. There are several brilliant facebook pages - NotFineInSchool, EHCP Professional Parents and Send Family Instincts. There's a wealth of support and information through all these charities and voluntary groups - they can help your friend get all her facts etc, I think all that's happening on this thread is people are discussing whether or not they think a pregnant teenager should return to school. You need to find out if she can, then everyone can have a think about if she should.

Why try to keep your child at a school they are unwanted - it won’t be a good environment for them especially at a time when they are navigating all sorts of new challenges

This is pretty much what I came here to say.

If she stays at this school, everytime she struggles and needs to pick herself up she's probably going to have senior management suggesting a "better environment" for her or questioning her ability to apply herself. That's such negative messaging to repeatedly hear about yourself.

Do I think she school is letting down a vulnerable pupil with disabilities? Absolutely. I think it's worth formally raising that with them.

But I also think it's possible to tackle the issue and ensure your goddaughter has the best possible chance at success, and that's probably through her going to an FE college where leadership actually believe in her potential and can provide supportive resources.

I understand that F.E Colleges are more likely to be supportive to a new mother.

Then why wouldn't they been seen as the best option in those circumstances?

Surely being at a college who support her current situation would be wholly better for her than a school who they feel don't want her there?

I know what it's like to have a teenager with SN and need to fight for every last gasp of support, and i wonder if you're fighting this simply out of habit, which is understandable, but possibly not the best thing for the circumstances she is now in.

The school will not give her the emotional support she needs. She will do much better in a nurturing sixth form or college. I'd be arranging a meeting with the local authority admissions/send department and discussing a managed move with the school.

If I were her I'd plough on and just do them...... Which is what I did
Tiny babies are far easier, plus if she gets out of the loop by taking a break she may never get back into it.

Keep her in education and make sure she sits her Alevels as normal. Being pregnant won't stop her studying. And having a supportive mum at home means she can study at home too.

Why do you think you are better placed to decide how she will manage than her teachers?

@5zeds

Why do you think you are better placed to decide how she will manage than her teachers?

OP doesn't. She's asking how she can ensure the school provide the service that the girl's teachers are encouraging.

It is the school's leadership that is hinting they don't want the girl there for a third year and OP has already told us why she thinks they are doing that. You really could just rtft.

FE college will be a much better environment for her.

With kindness, I agree with the PPs. Her GCSE results were poor, and she has struggled with her emotions even before the stress of being a young mother with a newborn - A levels are difficult and stressful at the best of times, let alone when you're 17 and have a newborn baby to take care of. The school are probably just being realistic about what is actually best for the girl.

Her mum might want her to stay in school, but if it's not in the best interests of the girl (and it sounds like it isn't) then she should be open to alternatives. You can't call disability discrimination every time something doesn't go her way, I'm afraid. This isn't discrimination. It's weighing up the girl's situation, her capabilities as a student, and her emotional issues in the past which indicate that her staying in this school could be extraordinarily difficult for her and lead to other serious problems, which really isn't worth the risk considering her likelihood of actually getting positive results out of being at the college.

Will she definitely need to repeat? Baby is due December and she'll get 6? weeks off? Given her Mom will be massively stepping up to parent the baby would she be able to keep up with her studies sufficiently to pass whatever she needs to in y12?
Or do they want her to essentially drop out the year and come back September? I'd think if she's essentially giving up her place this year then she might be subject to readmission based on the criteria for external students which tend to be much higher. It would also mean there might not be enough space for her if everyone in the current year 11 moves up she'd essentially be pupil 31. On those basisid think they could reasonably choose to not readmit her.

I agree a fe collage sounds a better fit due to the extra support they can give her.

Why do posters keep saying her GCSE grades were poor 4 Grade 7 4 Grade 6 and 1 Grade 5 at GCSE are not poor grades . This especially for a girl who is Autistic and Dyslexic. I also think whether you like Grammar schools or not, she did very well to get in to Grammar school at 11 considering.

Thank you Staples for that information and legal contact details.

As a parent of a teen daughter with ASD I am shocked that after 3 incidences her parent would want her to continue in this school esp after having a baby. A young person with high functioning ASD lashing out like that shows they are unsupported and under pressure. This does not sound like the right environment for this young girl. A new start in FE is likely to be no more stressful than starting in a new year group esp being the girl who had to repeat due to having a baby. As many previous posters have pointed out the FE is likely to be a much more supportive environment. Does your friend maybe see the grammar as more prestigious or something because it just doesn't make sense to me.

At my school the pregnant mums continued at the local college after, they didn’t come back to our a level form.

You acknowledge that a change in an autistic person’ environment can cause them to lash out.
Why do you think she’ll be in the right frame of mind to continue schooling?
It’s possible that she won’t be affected at all as her mother steps up to do the actual parenting (much like a free FT nanny), enabling to her to continue studying.
However at this stage nobody knows and given her past behaviour when the wall came down the school have ample evidence.

Your/your friend’s focus right now should definitely not be her academics but adjusting to the realities of having a baby. Even professional , older women struggle to adjust to having a new baby what with the new mum hormones etc. You cannot guarantee her mental and emotional stability.

Furthermore … you call her group of friends ‘supportive’ yet at the same time they see her as a ‘warning’.

There’s no point fighting for the sake of it.

Also bear in mind that since she’s autistic there’s a possibility her child might be to.

DP and I both inherited our neuro diversity from our parents :) now that was fun

@SecretIdentitee

As a parent of a teen daughter with ASD I am shocked that after 3 incidences her parent would want her to continue in this school esp after having a baby. A young person with high functioning ASD lashing out like that shows they are unsupported and under pressure. This does not sound like the right environment for this young girl. A new start in FE is likely to be no more stressful than starting in a new year group esp being the girl who had to repeat due to having a baby. As many previous posters have pointed out the FE is likely to be a much more supportive environment. Does your friend maybe see the grammar as more prestigious or something because it just doesn't make sense to me.

Also this!

There’s already evidence that she’s uncomfortable at grammar school.

Although they prob are trying to get rid of her and should do more id also be wary that they wouldn’t do their best if they were forced to take her. I can see a “see we told you so” scenario in a few years time when she drops out or fails her a levels as she hasn’t been given adequate support. I’d personally prefer her to be somewhere where she was wanted and that wanted her to do well.

The post is more about what the mum wants. What does the daughter want? Does she actually want to be at this school doing A levels with a cohort of children she doesn’t know with tiny baby?!