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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shocked and hurt by this

301 replies

SquirrelsAndNuts · 19/10/2021 22:43

I didn't know what to put as a title. I do feel shocked. And I think a little hurt.

I have a friend I met a few years ago. We are in the same line of work. We live quite far away from each other. There’s around a couple of hundred miles between us, but we stay in touch regularly.
Anyway, we were chatting this week about work, and I decided to have a quick look on her website.
I was shocked to see that she has copied and pasted everything from my website onto her own. It’s all the same - word for word.
I don’t think at all this will have a negative impact on my business. But I just feel so shocked by this. I’m not sure if I also feel quite hurt? Or foolish? I couldn’t quite believe it at first.

I really don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to do nothing and pretend that I haven’t seen it, but I also would prefer for her to remove it. However, I don’t want to risk hurting her or embarrassing her, or jeopardising our friendship.
What would you do?

OP posts:
Thepennysjustdropped · 20/10/2021 22:05

Gosh. I feel for you. It's crazy that she didn't have the decency to at least put it into her own words. She has some brass neck! She has lied to you. I think I would say, "It's weird, I found your website and it's exactly like mine! You've lied to me! You need to change it, because mine is copyrighted" (and all the other good suggestions on here).

It's hard to break up with a friend, but surely lying can't be excused?

I know someone who did this for her new business - she cut & pasted whole pages from an American website of someone who was already established in her field. I know because I suspected, and cut & pasted it into Google, and found the US website, word for word.

Thatsnotall · 20/10/2021 22:10

Actually, having read on, I'd screenshot every single page of the site, make sure you have all the evidence, then I'd simply just text her this, on WhatsApp so you can see she's read it (if she has standard settings):

'I thought you didn't have a website? www-herwebsiteaddress-com'

And just wait for her response.

ColourHex · 20/10/2021 22:30

Not sure if it's been mentioned at all but you can report the site to Google for copywrite infringement and hopefully get it removed from search listings. Won't remove the site but no one will be able to find it

support.google.com/legal/troubleshooter/1114905?hl=en-GB

SarahDippity · 20/10/2021 23:02

I posted my advice early this morning and it is to screenshot both pages and email them to her. I strongly advise against calling her as it is clear she cannot be trusted, and if you feel troubled about what to say, just copy and paste (and I give you full permission!) what I or someone else has written if you are struggling to word it yourself. Plus you need to create a paper trail.

Good luck with it! Bite the bullet.

Graphista · 21/10/2021 00:05

She has stolen your work and could potentially steal customers - why aren't you more angry about this? I'm angry on your behalf

Sod the friendship she is no friend!

Record her pages for evidence purposes - if there's a way to do it so that it shows WHEN she did this do that too, I'm no longer as tech savvy as I used to be but this should be possible. Ditto your own work.

Get a letter from a solicitor sent to her sharpish telling her to remove it ASAP or you'll be suing for...well it's a breach of your copyright actually - the text is YOUR copy

She has stolen from you as surely as if she had taken your purse! Stop taking this lying down op.

Stop talking to her - seriously - protect yourself. ANY further comms in writing only

She's NO FRIEND

OVienna · 21/10/2021 17:33

Do you have any record of when you spoke to her about your website or offered to help her?

If I were you I'd be searching on the wayback machine/for other cached links and trying to capture images of what it has looked like previously, ideally before you had these conversations. Try to pinpoint when the content changed.

From what you've said, I can't tell if it's a bit too generic to be considered falling afoul of copywrite. Very hard to say w/o actually looking at the website. But if you can provide in a technical way she updated her site after your content was already loaded, it would help.

OVienna · 21/10/2021 17:34

sorry "prove" that the content on her site postdates yours, that is.

StargazerAli · 21/10/2021 17:57

If you mention it, it will affect your relationship, but it's already altered due to her disrespect and taking you for granted. I think you need to bite the bullet and tell her for your own self respect. It will only eat away at you if you don't.

Tictocrobot · 21/10/2021 18:01

I’m pretty sure you’re a photographer. This seems to happen ALL the time and is so disrespectful. Sorry it’s happened to you.

Lndnmummy · 21/10/2021 18:01

Your SEO will be impacted, This is not on

Clementineapples · 21/10/2021 18:05

Dear friend
I’ve checked out your website and I’d hate to ruin our friendship but the entirety of my website in copyrighted and I’d hate for someone to notice and report you.

runthatbymeagain · 21/10/2021 18:10

I know it is not an Ecommerce business so you are unlikely to be linking your website to Google Search Console, Google Manufacturing Centre or Google Merchant Centre but if you do have these, you should get an alert about duplicate content from Google. Can you ensure you have completed the “alt tags” on all images and have you named the image files you’ve uploaded with the name of your business? Has she stolen your image files? If so you can contact Google via a DMCA form and request they remove stolen content from the SERP ( search engine). If she has uploaded anything copyright to you to Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or YouTube, you can also get it booted off using the appropriate DMCA form. They are individual to each platform but easy to fill in. You can do all this without her knowing. If you are using a site such as unsplash for image files, ensure your files are a few pixels bigger than hers. (Not big enough to slow down your site) That will all help Google identify you as the primary site. Although just being the first to have uploaded the content should be enough for Google to see her as the copycat. She is likely to be penalised in the rankings as she has copied you. Do you have access to tools such as Ahrefs, Moz or SemRush? Do you have Google Analytics set up? It might be worth paying for Ahrefs for a month or two to see how this is affecting your ranking verses her website’s ranking. Sistrix is a site which will show you your digital footprint over time. You can go back in time and see if you have lost significant traffic. If you have a big dip, that might show you when she started cannibalising your site and whether it has affected your ranking. Finally, if you put her website url into an amazing online tool called Wayback Machine, it should rewind her site to show when she uploaded your content. That would then allow you to see if you lost traffic at that time using some of the other tools I mentioned above. Good luck OP. I’d hate this and would be taking action via DMCA forms in the first instance. But is she has copied you, the chances are Google knows this and has penalised her website already.

Nearly47 · 21/10/2021 18:14

She is NOT your friend. Why are you worried about hurting her feeling? Do you have other, real friends? Do you need her friendship so badly? I think whar she's done is really, really bad. I am worried by your lack of outrage and reaction. She stolen from you. Pure and simple.

secretbookcase · 21/10/2021 18:14

It's really not the act of a good friend to steal your material.

I'd contact her and say you've found out she has copied and pasted your content and professional profile onto her website, that you're upset that she lied about having a website, upset that she stole your material and that you want her to remove it immediately.

Ironically, she won't be doing as well as you because there will be a strong disconnect between how she presents online and how she presents when potential clients make contact with her. She needs to find her own voice and her own USP if she wants to be successful.

Biscuitybiscuit · 21/10/2021 18:18

If she was the last friend I had what she's done is wrong, she'd be gone.

JimHairy · 21/10/2021 18:27

So I work in search marketing. It’s been mentioned, but it really is a big problem if your site content has been duplicated elsewhere and you’ll lose rankings as a result. Google will penalise you and I’ve seen it take months and months to recover page position because of this exact issue.

christinarossetti19 · 21/10/2021 18:35

If it helps, think of speaking to her about this as protecting your business, rather than criticising her.

You'd be right to do this with any party who had copied and pasted your content.

The fact that she's a friend is secondary.

thenovice · 21/10/2021 18:38

If she were a stranger rather than a friend, what would you do?

Dontgetyerknicksinatwist · 21/10/2021 18:39

She doesn’t sound like a genuine friend. She’s stolen your content because she’s plain lazy and can’t be bothered to write her own. She’s a user, thief and a lier. You absolutely have to say something please don’t let her walk all over you.

Whyareblokesonhere · 21/10/2021 18:41

tell her you've been taken to court and are faced with losing everything because you c&p from another website when writing your profile

greenritta · 21/10/2021 18:44

Take screenshots in case it gets further and you need proof?

Oppy · 21/10/2021 18:45

I understand how you feel, I'd be the same. In situations like this I consider if I'd have done the offending action to that person myself. I doubt you'd have done anything like that, certainly not to someone you perceive as a friend. Lay out the facts. Try to remove your emotion and lay out the facts - she told you she didn't have a website and she does, and she's copied and pasted your content (stolen) without your permission. Tell her you don't understand why she's done this this especially after you have offered your help. Ask her politely to remove all your content. Don't get into a debate, don't go into how much it's hurt you or offer further help, Keep it that simple and see what she comes back with. See if she's defensive or apologetic, see how you feel about her response and go from there x

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 21/10/2021 18:49

💐

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/10/2021 18:51

@Summersnake

A successful business woman ,will have no problems sorting this out with a solicitor She is not your friend Instruct a solicitor to have her take it down. You don’t need to contact her again ,let a solicitor do it She’s not likely to contact you after that anyway
.

This!

ChaToilLeam · 21/10/2021 18:55

Screenshot first.

Then tell her in no uncertain terms to take it down. Or get a solicitor to do so.

Don’t worry about losing a friend. She never really was one. She has stolen website content from you and she has lied to you. This is not how a friend behaves, she’s a snake and you have found her out.