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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be shocked and hurt by this

301 replies

SquirrelsAndNuts · 19/10/2021 22:43

I didn't know what to put as a title. I do feel shocked. And I think a little hurt.

I have a friend I met a few years ago. We are in the same line of work. We live quite far away from each other. There’s around a couple of hundred miles between us, but we stay in touch regularly.
Anyway, we were chatting this week about work, and I decided to have a quick look on her website.
I was shocked to see that she has copied and pasted everything from my website onto her own. It’s all the same - word for word.
I don’t think at all this will have a negative impact on my business. But I just feel so shocked by this. I’m not sure if I also feel quite hurt? Or foolish? I couldn’t quite believe it at first.

I really don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to do nothing and pretend that I haven’t seen it, but I also would prefer for her to remove it. However, I don’t want to risk hurting her or embarrassing her, or jeopardising our friendship.
What would you do?

OP posts:
ChaToilLeam · 21/10/2021 18:56

And yes, it is hurtful, but protect yourself now.

Vynalbob · 21/10/2021 18:56

I think I'd try to make your website even better but would say something, egs
Oh I checked our your website...

My webmaster is fuming that you've copied it all

How's business since you've changed your website to parry with mine

Looks very familiar, did you use stuff off my website.

Oh you CF what do you think you're doing!

OK maybe scrap the last one

PeachyPeachTrees · 21/10/2021 19:19

She lied about not having a website, so you wouldn't notice how she has copied you. She is not your friend.

Screenshot everything. Get her to remove all the identical text and don't offer to help her with her website. Just because she hasn't stolen a physical item like your jewelry doesn't mean it's any less wrong.

OverweightPidgeon · 21/10/2021 19:20

This , to me , is almost the same as her helping herself to money from your purse - I’d go mad if I were you!

mrbreezeet1 · 21/10/2021 19:30

No you are not being unreasonable, she shouldn't have done that.
She should make her own stuff up.

Angie1403 · 21/10/2021 19:41

If you think she would be embarrassed by you asking her what’s going on then you already know yourself that she is aware she has done something wrong. Not much of a friend IMO, if she were, she would have asked to use the content or at least told you

Djifunrsn · 21/10/2021 19:43

She's a thief, not a friend!

Screenshot yours and hers.

Solicitor's letter.

me4real · 21/10/2021 19:44

Of course she's aware it's wrong.

@SquirrelsAndNuts Maybe there's some sort of copyright strike you could do if you contacted the hoster of her site.

I would have words with her but I would find it hard to trust her again.

Misprit · 21/10/2021 19:47

I imagine she would be embarrassed if I speak to her about this

I bet she won't. She's clearly shameless. I would brace yourself for anger and faux injured feelings, or just being ghosted. She will know the friendship's over and try to make you feel like the villain of the piece.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 21/10/2021 19:48

Maybe she isn't actually your friend but she saw someone she could use to her advantage.

She can't seriously have thought you'd never find out she's copied your site.

I think you'll find out where you stand when you tell her to remove your content from her website.

CoraPirbright · 21/10/2021 19:49

I think screenshot as others have suggested and do all that technical stuff to your images etc to protect yourself. Then a message trying to be professional and take the emotion out of it:
“Dear Susan, since you told me that you no longer have a website, I was extremely surprised to stumble across “cheekyfuckersrus.com”. I was even more surprised to see that you have lifted whole swathes of my own website and copied it directly across to yours. This will affect my SEO and infringes my copyright and will need to be removed immediately. I trust you understand and hope that we can move past this. Kind regards, Squirrels”

But frankly I’d kick her into touch - she is basically a thief!

Marelle · 21/10/2021 19:57

Edit the text on your website. And add a bit of code that prevents people right clicking so she can’t copy your text again.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/10/2021 20:14

OP has long gone... she can't be bothered to reply in case she upsets her friend who is ripping her off. Can't help all of the people all of the time...

Insanelysilver · 21/10/2021 20:22

I would say, that id clicked on her website snd was very shocked to see that she’d copied and pasted everything from your website!
And then I’d wait and see how she responds to that.
I wonder if she’d deny it or ignore that you’ve called her on it , or apologise , or minimise the importance of her having done it.

saraclara · 21/10/2021 20:25

@SquirrelsAndNuts

To answer the questions about me selling products. It isn't that I sell products. The part on my website that's been copied is - on my site I've put a bit of information about me, the way that I work and what services I offer. It's this that's been copied and pasted.
You gave the impression that she copied your entire website. But it's just one page.

Still wrong of her but very different from the way you portrayed the problem initially.

BabycakesMatlala · 21/10/2021 20:25

@CoraPirbright's advice is spot-on.

Cherrysoup · 21/10/2021 20:26

Please speak to a solicitor. This is outrageous.

Insanelysilver · 21/10/2021 20:27

My husband designs and he says the text etc is copywrited. You can’t just go round stealing peoples websites.
She’s stolen from you and totally mugged you off. I think you need to confront her and she needs to then remove it and start grovelling!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/10/2021 20:32

@Insanelysilver Copyright means the content is owned by a person or party.

Copywrite isn't a word and doesn't mean anything in itself. But a copywriter will write words (be it in publishing or media or advertising).

3luckystars · 21/10/2021 20:40

I did a course last year about having difficult conversations, it’s part of being in charge and I know it’s not easy but it has to be done.
This is one of those situations as you will feel a lot better if you just say it out. The letter that CoraPirbright has written above is perfect. Good luck.

MsDidoTwite · 21/10/2021 20:45

Before you contact her screenshot all of her web pages and make sure that the date you do so is captured too. The metadata on the screenshots themselves will carry this information too.

RoseChampagne · 21/10/2021 20:47

well then yes thats not on - id be having a word with her

Insanelysilver · 21/10/2021 20:59

I’m a bit dyslexic, but thanks so much for pointing out my mistake.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 21/10/2021 21:00

saraclara

SquirrelsAndNuts

To answer the questions about me selling products. It isn't that I sell products.
The part on my website that's been copied is - on my site I've put a bit of information about me, the way that I work and what services I offer. It's this that's been copied and pasted.

You gave the impression that she copied your entire website. But it's just one page.

Still wrong of her but very different from the way you portrayed the problem initially.

The op says she provides services. So if her 'frirnd' has copied the about me section, how I work and the services I offer - what else is there? The contact us page, maybe the price page if it's not in with the stuff on the services.

Lilymossflower · 21/10/2021 21:04

Have an enthusiastic chat with her about how you would love to help her with her website, as you had a thought about how she said hee business isn't doing so well for her, and you want to help her as a friend !

Set a date that you will meet up a s go through the website together, and that you will give her friendly pointers and advice.

If she really is embarrassed about copying you, she will remove said content from her site before that set date , so that you don't find out.
If she is just brazen however, she will tell you or show you straight up and then you can confront her