To be shocked and hurt by this

[SquirrelsAndNuts]

I didn't know what to put as a title. I do feel shocked. And I think a little hurt.

I have a friend I met a few years ago. We are in the same line of work. We live quite far away from each other. There’s around a couple of hundred miles between us, but we stay in touch regularly. 
Anyway, we were chatting this week about work, and I decided to have a quick look on her website. 
I was shocked to see that she has copied and pasted everything from my website onto her own. It’s all the same - word for word. 
I don’t think at all this will have a negative impact on my business. But I just feel so shocked by this. I’m not sure if I also feel quite hurt? Or foolish? I couldn’t quite believe it at first. 

I really don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to do nothing and pretend that I haven’t seen it, but I also would prefer for her to remove it. However, I don’t want to risk hurting her or embarrassing her, or jeopardising our friendship.  
What would you do? 

[SquirrelsAndNuts]

@Justilou1

That's strange. I wonder what was happening there. That is frustrating. Someone else mentioned this as well. Thanks for letting me know.

[Justilou1]

@SquirrelsAndNuts - something weird must happened in Mumsnetland. Your last few posts arrived on this thread much, much later than the date and time states. (Like, 1 or 2 days.) This is why people were frustrated. It’s not you.

[WickedWitchOfTheTrent]

Sorry you're last updates didn't come through.. glad you've sorted it

[WickedWitchOfTheTrent]

If she's said she no longer has a website, could you phrase it like 'hi X I know you said you don't have a website, but I've just stumbled across this (put a link to her website) looks like someone is trying to impersonate you/your business and they've stolen the content from my website that I designed and built. Before I report this I thought I'd let you know, just in case, so you can check no one's stealing your business clients'

[Justilou1]

Sorry about my post from yesterday. I suspect we were both writing simultaneously. I’m relieved you spoke to her. Stunned at her front. At least you know where you stand with her. May I suggest you continue to monitor her site… I wouldn’t be surprised if she puts it back in a couple of days.

[WhatAShilohPitt]

? I just thought I’d read all your posts and replied and then saw another page where you said you’d already spoken to her. Not sure if my phone is only showing me a limited number of posts!

[WhatAShilohPitt]

Tell her that you’d been considering paying for a google ad and searched keywords that you use in your website to see where you ranked, but were taken aback to see your entire text duplicated on her website. Ask her to remove it by the end of the week and write her own copy. What a CF she is. I certainly wouldn’t say nothing through fear of it all being embarrassing. She’s a liar and is stealing your work to pass off as her own.

[SquirrelsAndNuts]

@fuckoffImcounting
Thank you. It isn't a good feeling is it. I'd hate to think if it happened more than once! So that must have been hard for you. I think you're right that people just think they can pinch whatever they want from the internet.

[SquirrelsAndNuts]

@Boysgrownbutstillathome I have which I mentioned on the thread earlier

[Boysgrownbutstillathome]

@Postmanpatsucksdick

You'll have to confront her about it. She did something wrong and it's bothered you. Don't simmer.

This

[fuckoffImcounting]

Hi OP, I also run a business and have been doing so for 25 years, I have seen rival businesses copy my website and my materials quite a few times. It is infuriating and thank goodness none of them were friends. I am sorry that you have been treated this way - some people think if its on the internet they can just pinch it.

[Justilou1]

@SquirrelsAndNuts I really am worried about your aquiescence. Are you always this much of a people-pleaser? I know you said that you find it hard to make friends, but can’t you see that she really does not like or respect you at all? Your lack of anger is not normal in this situation. You should be indignant at least, seething with resentment would be a more common response. Are you perhaps choosing to subjugate and minimize these normal feelings in favour of pretending that you are “disappointed” or “hurt” instead, in the hope that you might be able to salvage this friendship? I think that people like your so-called “friend” probably have form for ferreting our victims like you. People who never have to force them to become accountable for their bad behaviour and decisions. You would rather desperately cling to a false friendship like a barnacle to a sinking ship than admit to yourself that she’s a false friend and you’ve been had, and that you’re really, really angry about this.

[Eddielzzard]

She knew exactly what she was doing hence the lying and evasion. Now she's been caught her strategy will be to minimise, because she's already justified this to herself when she was plagiarising. She is no friend. She is a user.

[Hopeisallineed]

…Or she really is so entitled that she just didn’t care.

[Alcemeg]

I don't know how she thought I wouldn't see it at some point.

To be honest, she sounds impressively stupid!

[milkyaqua]

I thought she'd be mortified and embarrassed which is what I was worried about, but she doesn't seem it.

The sort of person to do this in the first place, wouldn't feel shame like you or I, as they feel entitled to do what they want. Sad thing to learn about your 'friend'.

and I'm not sure if she seemed a bit pissed off with me to be honest

No apology, and in fact pissed off, is standard response for these amoral, entitled types. It's a learning curve!

[SarahDippity]

I’m glad you acted and that she took it down. I would still advise you send an email to assert yourself, to be completely clear. Best wishes.

[SoyIglesiasPiggle]

OP, it’s great that she has taken it down, but don’t forget that she was quite comfortable lying to you about not having a website, and also refused your kind offers of help in favour of replicating your content instead and keeping quiet about it. I understand that you feel you want to hold on to friendships if you find it hard to make friends, but you really need to think hard about what this friendship is actually based on. Friendships where one party seems happy to lie to the other party, or where your values aren’t aligned, or even where you don’t feel able to raise issues with each other, really aren’t true friendships. I mean this kindly, but it seems that there is a user and a person being used in your relationship with CF. That kind of imbalance is going to continue to cause you problems.

[DrSbaitso]

[quote SquirrelsAndNuts]@Alcemeg
Thank you. I understand what you mean. It isn't fair to people paying for your services to find that all you've offered isn't a true reflection of your work. I don't know how she thought I wouldn't see it at some point.
I have thought of her as a good friend so I do feel a bit down about it all.
[/quote]
Well whatever else you feel, don't feel guilty. You've done nothing wrong at all.

[SquirrelsAndNuts]

@Alcemeg
Thank you. I understand what you mean. It isn't fair to people paying for your services to find that all you've offered isn't a true reflection of your work. I don't know how she thought I wouldn't see it at some point.
I have thought of her as a good friend so I do feel a bit down about it all.

[torquewench]

[quote SquirrelsAndNuts]@KikoLemons Thank you. I'm really glad that I did speak to her about it because it was playing on my mind a lot. And I'm glad she's taken it down. It just feels strange that it's happened in the first place, and I'm not sure if she seemed a bit pissed off with me to be honest. I'm not sure. [/quote]
So what if she is? She's absolutely no right to be pissed off with you for sorting out her plagiarism. There's laws against that stuff. She's in the wrong, not you. She should be thankful you're not suing her cheating arse.

[mytortoiseisill]

gosh!

but job done, well done OP.

and she doesn't get to find out how much it's bugged you either.
and you didn't have to pay a solicitor.
so you win.

[FreshFreesias]

This frenemy is the ultimate cheeky fucker.
She is effectively a thief.

[GinIronic]

I would keep checking to make sure she doesn’t put it back up when she thinks you are not looking.

[CoraPirbright]

The fact that she didn’t even vaguely apologise speaks volumes.

NOT a good person.