“They made love all night then fell asleep in each other’s arms,” AIBU to wonder if there really are couples who do these things outside of romance novels?

[HeartsAndClubs]

Sometimes I read this kind of thing and then I wonder wtf they came up with that imagery. And then I wonder whether I’m the only one who wouldn’t even entertain the idea of falling asleep in someone’s arms after making love all night…

Or is it just me?

@mbosnz

Yes and you never read that in Fifty Shades do you?

@thecatsmum12346

She was already pretending to be asleep when he sloped into the bedroom. She heard him putting up the loo seat (which would remain up, forever) and calculated that there would be enough time to squeeze out a huge fart and waft it out of the bed before her joined them. ‘Them’ being the family dog and cat who cuddled into mummy and enjoyed her various tummy rumblings and nightmarish wailings in the wee small hours. He, unashamedly pissed like a race horse, took ages farting around doing other stuff, turned lights on and off by mistake and did a long mighty wind break that sounded like a huge trumpet! He got into bed and stared at his phone while she continued to ‘sleep’.

Wow. Now that's hyper-realism.

[quote jennythesquirrel]@mbosnz

Yes and you never read that in Fifty Shades do you?[/quote]
Um, no?! I've never read 50 Shades of Grey - it's like Twilight to me - literary stinging nettles with wasps combined - I'm allergic!

@thecatsmum12346

She was already pretending to be asleep when he sloped into the bedroom. She heard him putting up the loo seat (which would remain up, forever) and calculated that there would be enough time to squeeze out a huge fart and waft it out of the bed before her joined them. ‘Them’ being the family dog and cat who cuddled into mummy and enjoyed her various tummy rumblings and nightmarish wailings in the wee small hours. He, unashamedly pissed like a race horse, took ages farting around doing other stuff, turned lights on and off by mistake and did a long mighty wind break that sounded like a huge trumpet! He got into bed and stared at his phone while she continued to ‘sleep’.

'Here is the stuff of which fairytales are made.....'

We used to. Last night i woke him up because he was breathing in my face

I’ve just finished reading Pillars of the Earth which on the whole I enjoyed a lot but the romantic sex scenes are beyond ridiculous. In one scene they make love outside while the baby just sleeps on the grass next to them. And it specifies that they make love 5 times the night after the get married. It makes me lol to think of Ken Follet writing ‘3 times’ … no not passionate enough… ‘FIVE times’

Oh dear God. Sigh. I'm pleased to have my literary choices vindicated.

Um, no?! I've never read 50 Shades of Grey - it's like Twilight to me - literary stinging nettles with wasps combined - I'm allerg

ok then Jilly Cooper then?

@jennythesquirrel

Um, no?! I've never read 50 Shades of Grey - it's like Twilight to me - literary stinging nettles with wasps combined - I'm allerg

ok then Jilly Cooper then?

Nope!

Karen rose - generally you get sex scenes at 45%, 65%, 70%, and 80% on kindle. . . It gets a bit tedious. . .

The civilised alternative is to spend a pleasantly conjugal afternoon, followed by tea. And separate bedrooms at night, with occasional forays for a cuddle if mutually wanted and neither is having a snoring phase.

@longwayoff

The phrase 'to make love' has altered its meaning over the years. Originally it referred to 'courting', maybe a little smooching, a kiss or two perhaps. Not shagging each other senseless for 12 hours at a stretch which, as I recall, is a privilege of youth alone.

it originally meant to speak to someone in a gushing and romantic way. 'He made passionate love to her' but all clothes remained on and not so much as their hands touched.

sweeny toddler 😂😂😂

@Whataday21

Definitely in my younger years, and definitely not now. And it was shagging, not making love 😂

This!

I remember once we spent so long at it that we nearly missed the cut off point for buying our lottery tickets only sold on Saturday nights back in the day.....

We jumped on our mountain bikes and road down to the lottery till before 7.30pm.

That was a very painful couple of miles.......the price you pay for sex and gambling

In the early days, absolutely true.
Not now.
I'm a born-again virgin......

Not sex all night, but we both like to sleep. But cuddling definitely we cuddle most night's, and i love it tbh. Together nearly 3 year's and still love the closeness

For the first 18 months of the relationship yes..... 8 years in, it's a good 20 minutes max then a snuggle to sleep, then push him off so I get my nice cold pillows to myself 😂 all night long sounds horrendous thinking about it now!

it originally meant to speak to someone in a gushing and romantic way. 'He made passionate love to her' but all clothes remained on and not so much as their hands touched.

Iirc Darcy's first ill-judged attempt at wooing Elizabeth Bennet is described as 'violently made love'.

But who sleeps on the wet patch/patches? Oh, just realised they have to sleep snuggled up together as that’s the only dry bit!

I absolutely can't stand post-sex hugging. Hot and sweaty, yuck.

Also, lying in each other's arms = bad necks in my experience.

I don't need date nights, flowers or hugs. And I like to buy my own jewellery.

What I want from dh is to share the housework and raising the kids.

That's my kind of romance

Falling asleep in each other’s arms sounds like hell. The thing that keeps our marriage alive is the fact we have a huge bed, giving us plenty of space from one another

I came here to say the standard “yes in the early days we definitely did loads of that now we just fart at each other” but the I read what @thecatsmum12346 wrote so there’s nothing to add.

Cant stand being held - once woke up to discover I had my hands and knees pressed into my partners back to keep him at his distance. And all night - jeez, even as a young un that was not going to be on the cards, I like my sleep too much.

In the first few months we would shag all night and sleep wrapped around eachother. 13 years and 3 kids later I'd rather drink tea in my fluffy pyjamas and watch netflix!

@thecatsmum12346

She was already pretending to be asleep when he sloped into the bedroom. She heard him putting up the loo seat (which would remain up, forever) and calculated that there would be enough time to squeeze out a huge fart and waft it out of the bed before her joined them. ‘Them’ being the family dog and cat who cuddled into mummy and enjoyed her various tummy rumblings and nightmarish wailings in the wee small hours. He, unashamedly pissed like a race horse, took ages farting around doing other stuff, turned lights on and off by mistake and did a long mighty wind break that sounded like a huge trumpet! He got into bed and stared at his phone while she continued to ‘sleep’.

🤣