Teacher calling DD “Thing”

[ThingDDUR]

In the context I have no issue with it but ExH does so wondered if I’m UR?

Parents evening, chatting away and the teacher says “But generally (DDs name) is such a funny little thing, we’re always laughing when she’s in the room” then starts smiling and laughing while telling us some funny stories about DD (nothing naughty or bad, more pulling her jumper on after PE and shouting “Oh look here I am again” with a massive grin on her face or asking the headteacher if she’s old or very very old now on her birthday)

ExH wants me to complain to the headteacher tomorrow about the use of the word thing. I think it’s absolutely fine as she wasn’t calling DD “thing” in a derogatory way and it was just a clumsy choice of word.

So who is UR? Me or ExH?

DD is 7, just started Year 3 if it helps. The teacher also referred to DD a lot by her preferred name (a short version of her name) and this was the only time she said thing in reference to DD, otherwise it was always her full name, her short name or her full name (say her names Elizabeth Smith, teacher called her Elizabeth Smith, Elizabeth or Lizzie apart from when saying about her being a "funny little thing"). DD is also smaller in height than her friends so that might be where little comes from as I have heard her classmates call her Little Lizzie and similar as there is another Elizabeth/Lizzie in her class (obviously not her actual name thats just for example)

Vote:
YANBU - You're right the teacher was fine to use "thing"
YABU - ExH is right report to HT

What a dickhead

Very telling that he wants YOU to complain.

Is he generally a coward?

Not that there’s anything to complain about.

Why does your ex tell you what to do in regards your daughter and her schooling ?
Why does he think he is the boss of you ??
If he wants to be a massive dick and complain , let him
The fact that you are doubting yourself and having to ask us lot for a second opinion shows you are not out of his clutches and power play and you need to work on separating yourself more from him in your mind.

I suggest you attend separate parents evening so he can be a prick all by himself and it doesn’t impact on you in anyway

He’s a dick.

It’s just an expression, used in a fond way not a derogatory way.

And there it is…the kind of opinion (from your exH) that makes me question whether the blood, sweat and tears I’ve put into teaching over the past 11 years is worth it when complaints about such things actually do come into the school and really affect staff morale and cause staff to question their efficacy as a teacher. I’m so glad you totally disagree with him.

Your DH is nuts.

Sweet little thing
Funny little thing
Cute little thing
Happy little thing
Smiley little thing
Grumpy little thing
Bad tempered little thing

I could go on. ‘Little thing’ is affectionate. (Even if you add ‘grumpy’ or ‘bad tempered’)

Of course you shouldn’t complain about this unless you want any subsequent complaints to not be taken seriously…Headteachers, teachers and all other school staff are incredibly busy, overworked people and really don’t need to be dealing with nonsense like that.

Total dickhead

That said, you’ll give them all a good laugh in the staff room if you do 😆😂🤣

Your ex is being ridiculous.

It's a completely normal phrase

Please don't report a probably exhausted, overworked, fantastic sounding teacher for something so utterly ridiculous!

@RosesandPumpkins

I’m a teacher. Complainers like your ex are why I hate my job.

FFS

I’m glad to see 99% of people see sense

I’m a bit worried about the 1%.

Depending on how the rounding up/down works, and excluding the person that voted YABU for even considering complaining, I reckon there’s at least 3 other people who think the ex-DH is sane.

This is insane, it's a nice thing to say about your daughter- v affectionate. If he complains then he will never, ever be taken seriously if he does subsequently have a legitimate complaint. He sounds like a total nutter.

My god. He sounds like a absolute dick.

I work in a primary school - my favourite term of endearment for any child whose name doesn’t instantly spring to mind - there are 342 of them- is “Pickle”.

I can hear every parent on parents evening complaining that the Office lady called them a vinegary thing on a sandwich

I think it's quite sad that your ex can't see how fond the teacher is of your DD. Your DD sounds delightful, btw

Your ex is insane

It’s parents that drive teachers away from the profession, not their children.

Your ex is nuts. But if HE is offended then HE can make the complaint. Steer well clear yourself.

Your DD having a class teacher who she loves and can be herself with, a teacher who clearly “gets” her and is very fond of her, is a real gift.

Your ex seems to want to sabotage this lovely relationship, maybe because it hurts his self importance.

Huge red flag.

Why are you even entertaining the idea of complaining? And of him expecting you to do his dirty work for him?

Make sure that if he does say something to the school himself you distance yourself entirely from it and let them know how much you appreciate this teacher.

It would be a real shame if he was able make the teacher feel she has to change her behaviour around your DD and thereby undermine the relationship they have. Top priority here is DD’s well being and happiness at school.

This teacher likes your child . No wonder this is your ex - what an idiot !!!’

Eek I called a kid a quirky little thing on the phone today… hopefully won’t get fired tomo!

Tell him you’ve complained and forget it. If he brings it up be very over the top with their alleged apology 🙄

Please don’t do this. It will only encourage his batshittery.

Oh and in my vocabulary a group of children are called “wombles”. Taking a class out of the dining room - “Right then Wombles, let’s go”. I used to run a nurture group that they ended up calling themselves Womble Group because they were my wombles - it was a wonderful sense of belonging.

Your DH is saying I called them burrow living litter collectors