Teacher calling DD “Thing”

[ThingDDUR]

In the context I have no issue with it but ExH does so wondered if I’m UR?

Parents evening, chatting away and the teacher says “But generally (DDs name) is such a funny little thing, we’re always laughing when she’s in the room” then starts smiling and laughing while telling us some funny stories about DD (nothing naughty or bad, more pulling her jumper on after PE and shouting “Oh look here I am again” with a massive grin on her face or asking the headteacher if she’s old or very very old now on her birthday)

ExH wants me to complain to the headteacher tomorrow about the use of the word thing. I think it’s absolutely fine as she wasn’t calling DD “thing” in a derogatory way and it was just a clumsy choice of word.

So who is UR? Me or ExH?

DD is 7, just started Year 3 if it helps. The teacher also referred to DD a lot by her preferred name (a short version of her name) and this was the only time she said thing in reference to DD, otherwise it was always her full name, her short name or her full name (say her names Elizabeth Smith, teacher called her Elizabeth Smith, Elizabeth or Lizzie apart from when saying about her being a "funny little thing"). DD is also smaller in height than her friends so that might be where little comes from as I have heard her classmates call her Little Lizzie and similar as there is another Elizabeth/Lizzie in her class (obviously not her actual name thats just for example)

Vote:
YANBU - You're right the teacher was fine to use "thing"
YABU - ExH is right report to HT

your ex is a nutcase

I told my adored toddler DGD that she was a 'funny little thing' at the weekend.

It’s a common term of endearment and means that the teacher must like her. If your ex wants to complain, he can do it himself and make sure he doesn’t put your name to it!

How can you not have heard this before ? It's a totally normal expression

Your ex is quite mad but I voted that YABU, which you are for even contemplating that your ex might be right!

He’s being utterly ridiculous. I’d be truly embarrassed to raise this absolute triviality / non-event as a complaint.

I’m a teacher. Complainers like your ex are why I hate my job.

FFS

I’m glad to see 99% of people see sense

As a teacher, by all means let him complain - it's nearly half term and we're knackered and need a laugh!!!

He is being bloody ridiculous, it's clear the teacher meant it affectionately. Fair enough if English isn't his first language, but he's ridiculous if it is!

What a twat

Your ex is clearly being ridiculous.

"Funny little thing" is such a well used phrase in my world.

I thought you were going to say teacher couldn't remember her name and used "thingy".

I could agree that's not on - but as someone who's a nightmare with names even this wouldn't bother me 🤷‍♀️

Reminds me of a running joke I had with my year 7 form a few years ago. It started as the alphabet game and stuck, so each morning I would greet them with a different animal name "good morning my little aardvarks.." and so on. We got to Y and I obviously thought Yaks. A parent complained. About me calling his kid a Yak

@blueluce85

He's fucking off his nut if he has a problem with that

This perfectly expresses what I think.

He should be glad that your DD has such a warm and affectionate teacher, to be honest. She clearly knows your DD well and enjoys having her in the class. Which is surely what every parent wants from a Yr3 teacher?

Entirely normal turn of phrase.

If he wants to complain let him crack on.

I find it weirder that a) he's asked you to do it in his behalf and b) you're considering it!

Do you work as his PA?

Context, intention and tone are everything.

Nope, nothing wrong with what the teacher said. He wants YOU to look like ‘that’ parent/twat and it’s a power play over you…. Otherwise why would he want you to complain?!

He's "that" parent - the one we laugh at in the staff room (parent governor here) Its a normal expression, I use it about my own child!

If he has an issue, tell him that you don't and you won't be complaining on his behalf - let him complain himself so they at least laugh at the right person :D

I am pretty certain that Jane Austen uses this term in her books as a term of affection.

If English is not his first language I could sort of understand but if not then utterly mental. Unless he is trying to set you up so you look like a prat and ruin your relationship with the school by complaining?

Its an affectionate phrase. That teacher was giving detailed accounts of your child and to do that she clearly pays attention to her. Please don't complain

I made this exact comment about my friend’s wee boy today. It’s a perfectly normal expression. I also called her baby girl a “cutie pie”. It had nothing to do with steak/pastry.

The teacher didn't have to regale you with funny stories about your dd - she could have saved herself time and told you only how she is doing in English, maths and other subjects. Instead she was kind and showed that she cares for your daughter. Honestly, this wouldn't even make me laugh as a Y3 teacher - I'd be upset. It's clear you think she knows your daughter well so even if you did think it was a poor choice of language, could you not just let it go? Having everything you say picked over is one of the very worst aspects of teaching.

Why does he want you to complain instead of doing it himself? Is he setting you up to look like a crazy mum?

I think it shows an affection for your daughter. My dd's nursery teacher used to call her a funny onion. Still makes me smile!

Jesus, it’s no wonder so many teachers leave the profession within the first few years of qualifying!

Your child’s teacher sounds lovely and clearly finds your child endearing. Your ex sounds like a massive block of knob cheese.

Tell him you’ve complained and forget it. If he brings it up be very over the top with their alleged apology 🙄

Your ex is an odd ball and honestly if you complain about that the school staff will think you are too.