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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teacher calling DD “Thing”

251 replies

ThingDDUR · 18/10/2021 20:31

In the context I have no issue with it but ExH does so wondered if I’m UR?

Parents evening, chatting away and the teacher says “But generally (DDs name) is such a funny little thing, we’re always laughing when she’s in the room” then starts smiling and laughing while telling us some funny stories about DD (nothing naughty or bad, more pulling her jumper on after PE and shouting “Oh look here I am again” with a massive grin on her face or asking the headteacher if she’s old or very very old now on her birthday)

ExH wants me to complain to the headteacher tomorrow about the use of the word thing. I think it’s absolutely fine as she wasn’t calling DD “thing” in a derogatory way and it was just a clumsy choice of word.

So who is UR? Me or ExH?

DD is 7, just started Year 3 if it helps. The teacher also referred to DD a lot by her preferred name (a short version of her name) and this was the only time she said thing in reference to DD, otherwise it was always her full name, her short name or her full name (say her names Elizabeth Smith, teacher called her Elizabeth Smith, Elizabeth or Lizzie apart from when saying about her being a "funny little thing"). DD is also smaller in height than her friends so that might be where little comes from as I have heard her classmates call her Little Lizzie and similar as there is another Elizabeth/Lizzie in her class (obviously not her actual name thats just for example)

Vote:
YANBU - You're right the teacher was fine to use "thing"
YABU - ExH is right report to HT

OP posts:
Twofurrycats · 18/10/2021 20:48

@GettingLardy me too.
Sounds like a sweet comment at a parent's evening.

Withgasoliiiiine · 18/10/2021 20:49

It is a completely appropriate thing to say, whether or not you have heard a teacher use it before. I'm really surprised a native speaker is so unfamiliar with this commonplace and affectionate phrase used to refer to a child. It has nothing to do with her size and is not clumsy or derogatory or a sign of not knowing her by name. Is there history of your ex pulling shit like this and making you doubt things?

ThingDDUR · 18/10/2021 20:49

@toocold54

Your ex is a twat! Is he the type to get annoyed when someone calls her a girl because they’re assuming her gender Hmm
No but only because if you ask DD if she's a boy or a girl she gives you the look of "what the heck are you on about" and says "I'm a girl"
OP posts:
Milkbottlelegs · 18/10/2021 20:49

Is he always that much of a twat?

Neonplant · 18/10/2021 20:49

Is he normally such an uptight twat? I assume he's an ex for a reason. Jesus how embarrassing.

DinaofCloud9 · 18/10/2021 20:50

How bizarre. Just utterly bonkers the stuff people find to complain about.

Caliexpidocioussuper · 18/10/2021 20:50

I say this a lot as a teacher. It’s never occurred to me that anyone would take offence. It’s very clearly used in an affectionate way.

Jiggyjigsaw · 18/10/2021 20:50

I agree with pp, sounds like he is a forigner, is English his native language? That would explain a lot.... Otherwise just a twat picking a fight

AosSi · 18/10/2021 20:50

God, he's a dose isn't he. Well done on getting rid of him.

Have to admit though - seeing as a pp mentioned the teacher being upset - I wouldn't be if I got such a silly complaint. I'd have a good laugh at him in the staffroom and the story would follow him from teacher to teacher throughout DD's time in school. Kid would be treated the same as ever but as for Daddy, well...

Slagertha · 18/10/2021 20:50

Your ex sounds like a bit of a div, what does he expect them to say in response? He's acting like the teacher referred to DD as a 'little shit' or something along those lines rather than what was actually said! Is he a little bit unhinged ? X

irregularegular · 18/10/2021 20:50

"funny little thing" is affectionate, not derogatory, or even clumsy.

Neonplant · 18/10/2021 20:51

@ThingDDUR

Both native brits, but ExH likes an excuse to complain about anything to do with the school.
Don't let him get away with this shit he will make things difficult for you and her. It's completely unfair on your dd.
AosSi · 18/10/2021 20:52

And I wouldn't call it a clumsy choice of word by the teacher. It's a perfectly normal, acceptable use of it in that phrase.

MrsKeats · 18/10/2021 20:53

You have got to be kidding.
It's an EXPRESSION.

IWantT0BreakFree · 18/10/2021 20:54

It’s not even clumsy wording. It’s a perfectly normal, very common term of affection.

Bloody hell. Teachers really do have their work cut out with some of the bullshit they have to deal with from parents.

If your ex wants to complain, let him pull up his big boy pants and do it himself. Why does he need you to fight his ridiculous, embarrassing battles for him?

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 18/10/2021 20:56

It's a pretty common(and affectionate )figure of speech.

Funny little thing
Happy little thing
Clever little thing

We use it a lot when referring to DD. I can see myself using it with parents too if I interacted more with them.

newmum1976 · 18/10/2021 20:57

My dd was called a ‘little minx’ by her teacher. I wasn’t too pleased, but didn’t complain. Your ex is bonkers.

MrsKeats · 18/10/2021 20:57

You should also change the misleading thread title. Hmm

couchparsnip · 18/10/2021 20:58

Why do you have to complain for him? Even if he had a point (which he doesn't) he should be able to speak to the head himself.

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 18/10/2021 20:59

It’s an affectionate term, he is being very weird.

MyMabel · 18/10/2021 20:59

You’re ex is a funny little thing.

crochetmonkey74 · 18/10/2021 20:59

Thing is, it wouldn't be dismissed or give the teacher a laugh. The head would have to pass in on, and what sounds like a lovely teacher sould be upset. Dont complain. We havent got skin as thick as an elephant

RosieLemonade · 18/10/2021 21:00

No wonder we are leaving our profession in droves. It was clearly meant affectionately.

PPCD · 18/10/2021 21:00

I'm not even sure it's clumsily worded, it's just an expression.

Mydogmylife · 18/10/2021 21:01

Your X is an arse sadly