Are you responsible for having your husband's work clothes ready and get told off if he can't find stuff ??

[fussytodd]

I'm guessing a lot of people will say NO.

It's really grating on me.

My colleague (in his late 50s/early 60s) has his clothes laid out for him by his wife every night. We took the piss out of him so much for this. She went away without him once and we were all concerned how he would know what to put on every morning. 😂😂

I didn't think it was a widespread thing. How is he not incredibly embarrassed that he can't sort his own clothes now that he's an adult.

I find the phrase "Sorry, I mistook you for a fully capable adult" does the trick

I'm saving that one for the next time DH says something stupid

Think o must be in a minority! I do most of the laundry and ironing here including dps shirts when I can. Usually I do it on a Sunday evening in front of call the midwife while he’s cooking a Sunday roast. I hate cooking so it’s an even split IMO!

I once knew someone who laid out her husband's clothes every night for the next day.
She also got up earlier than him to put his cereal in a bowl on the table with the milk next to it so it was there when he got up. Most odd.

I usually get his stuff ready just because I find it easier. Also because, although he wouldn't wake me up he'd make some pointed remark if he couldn't find something.
I only work part time though and he's full time. It was more evenly split when we both worked full time

How is that easier for you? It easier for him but certainly not for you!
And what has working part time got to do with it?

No. I don’t do his washing or ironing, he does it himself or pays for a laundry service. Absolutely refuse, he’s not a child.

I once knew someone who laid out her husband's clothes every night for the next day.

She also got up earlier than him to put his cereal in a bowl on the table with the milk next to it so it was there when he got up. Most odd.

I know a couple like this though they are in their 80s. I think she did it because when she was young the Man worked and the Woman stayed home and did everything abs it's just continued, even though he's been retired for well over 25 years.

I always feel the same about men who can't cook. Who are they not embarrassed that they've not managed to master a basic life skill?

@Rosebel

I usually get his stuff ready just because I find it easier. Also because, although he wouldn't wake me up he'd make some pointed remark if he couldn't find something. I only work part time though and he's full time. It was more evenly split when we both worked full time

How is it easier for you? I really don’t understand, if my DH made a remark about not being able to find his own clothes he’d get one back!

The odd thing with this is as well, if a man was laying out what clothes he wanted his female partner to wear it would be viewed, in my mind as quite controlling.

I just can’t imagine a woman wanting/needing that kind of ‘help’.

Whereas if a woman does it for a man, it’s like the man sees clothes/laundry as beneath him and a chore he needs doing for him.

Does anyone else see that distinction?

In our house dirty washing goes in the wash bins and when there's enough to do a load one of us puts it on. Same person is responsible for hanging it out/putting it in the drawer unless they pass it over, ie if I'm going to work I'll let my husband know I've put it on and can he sort it in his lunch break. However we're both adults who recognise sometimes life goes wrong. I pick up emergency shifts and can work 13 days in a row, by which time I've run out of work clothes twice, so I'll ask DH if he can wash all my work stuff/underwear so it's dry for tomorrow etc as I'm out the house for 14 hours. It's called a partnership, plus I'm normally organised and do have all my clothes ready for the next 5 days including underwear unless my rota has got really crazy

I wouldn’t lay out my husband’s clothes for him as that would be weird. But in our house, there is just ‘laundry’ (ie we don’t all do separate washes). If my husband takes stuff out of the machine, he just hangs it about the laundry room. This is as far as it goes. He’s good at putting stuff in the machine, but has never ironed and rarely puts anything away.

So I go in and tumble dry stuff when it’s still slightly damp (this generally saves ironing). About once a week, I take his shirts to the laundry press and I also take some of my own things (dresses or tops that need dry-cleaning or are fiddly to iron without damaging them).

So yes, he does find his shirts in the wardrobe ready-to-go and his socks etc because when I do a laundry sweep, I just put everything away or it piles up in the laundry room (family of 6). But I don’t work so it’s not a massive deal. If he asks me, “Where is xyz?” I just ignore him. This does annoy me because he will often ask me where things are before he’s even used his eyes to look. Not just clothes, but things like keys too. How the hell am I supposed to know? This is a man who runs about 6 companies and he can’t attempt remember where he last had his bag or whatever.

Actually yes, I iron once a week and I’ve always done his shirts. If he couldn’t find anything he’d ask me where it was.
He does all the shopping, most of the cooking, deals with the cats, bills etc. I do laundry. We have cleaners for the housework. I think we split things fairly evenly. Whatever works.,

Definitely not!!

He deals with the CARs.. we do have cats and we share responsibility for those.

My husband does the laundry in this house and he works, how cool is that!
He works a very demanding job in which he would end up in prison for manslaughter if he doesn't do it properly so that really is some pressure but, he manages just fine doing the laundry and finding his own socks.
Your husband OP is a wanker.

And for the 266th time:NO NO NO.Are you married to a child?

It depends what you mean by ready. I get DS ready by laying out his clothes and helping him pull on jumpers, but he's a preschooler.

I do all laundry at home and our cleaner does all ironing / putting away. But DH does all the washing up, that's just our split. He might ask if he can't find something, but usually it's his hat and I've no idea where he put it. I will also ask him if I can't find anything. Nobody moans at the other one, usually, and that behaviour would really upset me. Your DH sounds like he's rather unpleasant OP. Is he unpleasant to you at other times too?

Not anymore!

I had a husband like this. Had. One of the best ones was phoning me at work because he couldn't find his work ID and blaming me for his uselessness. My favourite though was ringing me in the middle of me seeing patients to tell me he couldn't find dc's shoe and somehow he expected me to be able to find it from 15 miles away. He's still useless now. I'm shaded he can wipe his own arse. Although if memory of the laundry serves correct...

My late DH and I used to divide the ironing until I notice he didn't iron DD's clothes as well as he did his own: especially the work shirts.

As a consequence I ironed DD's, mine and all DH's except his work shirts. To be fair, after that, DH was always on my case that I shouldn't do any of his ironing at all, but creased clothes are anathema to me.

Full disclosure: DH did all the cooking, shopped for it, did DIY and the veggie patch, all finances and arranged all the fabulous holidays we had. What a chap.

I do the family washing and ironing. And tell people to put their own things away

I do the washing for all my family, just think it's more efficient than individuals all doing their own. Difference is that they appreciate it and help with it(ie hanging out.)

gets really grumpy and has a go at me at 5 am and wakes me from my sleep and makes me feel like shit, if he can't find a clean shirt or socks.

This is really not OK. He is literally training you to modify your behaviour to service him by making your life miserable if you don't.

This will continue as long as you stay with him. What does he do for you?

What other options can you make for yourself ? Do you earn enough to support yourself ? You always have choices.

Certainly not. And I'm a SAHP and do all the laundry (he does other jobs, like all the washing up). He keeps an eye on how many shirts he has in the wardrobe and when he starts running low he tells me in good time so that I can slot them in on a day when there's a big airer available to dry them on on their hangers. He then irons them. Similarly with his trousers (which we have dry cleaned), it's usually me who actually drops them off and collects them but he will let me know when he's got a few pairs that need doing and makes sure he has enough to keep him going in the meantime so although I'm the one taking them I'm not doing any of the mental load or "wife work" associated with it. I don't mind actually taking them as I can fit it in with a trip out to do something else. If he forgot to keep an eye on anything that'd be his problem.

He just gets really grumpy and has a go at me at 5 am and wakes me from my sleep and makes me feel like shit, if he can't find a clean shirt or socks.

OP, are you aware that he is abusive?