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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never speak to her again- CF!

686 replies

Peanutbuttermandms · 17/10/2021 15:10

I have a long term school ‘friend’, let’s call her S. I hear from her very sporadically and most recently, when she wants something: sponsorship money from me for one of her ‘challenges’ to stay in my central city home (!)… but folks, I give you the best one to date today…

Text out of the blue.. not even a ‘how are you’.. can I pick her son up from the airport (!) on Wednesday as he’s flying in alone (he is 10) from his dad’s abroad. You’re thinking wtaf, right?

The text goes on.. she can’t and her new DP are holidaying in the south of France and their flight doesn’t get in to airport until 5pm.. so the wee mite is alone for 4 hours after travelling alone. At 10. Jesus!

It ends ‘would obviously be great to see you too!!’

AIBU to think cheeky fucker and never speak to the self centred cow again?

OP posts:
KatharinaRosalie · 18/10/2021 06:08

@Springplanting

seriously the child is at risk at an airport anyone could do anything to her child.

Please report her.

10yo kids will be flying using Unaccompanied Minor service, and they will make sure the child is handed over to an authorised person. They will not let the 10 year old off the plane and to wander around the airport.
LaBellina · 18/10/2021 06:08

That poor boy. I would be tempted to pick him up, for him, not for her, report it to social services and stop speaking to her.
She sounds like an awful person, I really feel for her son.

HumousWhereTheHeartIs · 18/10/2021 06:19

To collect an unaccompanied minor after a flight, your name and proof of ID has to be filled in on paperwork etc and your ID is checked at the airport. There is NO WAY the CF could assume the OP is doing this unless it has been agreed. I would ignore this message too.

HouseOfFire · 18/10/2021 07:05

@MzHz

Honestly *@Peanutbuttermandms* you know you’re absolutely NBU and it’s refreshing to see someone able to say a hard no

Carry on doing you, you’re good at it Smile

Has op said a hard no??
DysmalRadius · 18/10/2021 07:15

@PyongyangKipperbang

No one can make you responsible for a child by putting your name on a form somewhere without your consent.

No they cant but they CAN make you have to have a conversation you dont want (or should need) to have about why their child was left alone for several hours. By simply sending one message, it removes that risk. Not saying it would happen but th fact that it could would be enough for me to reply "No" to remove all doubt.

If the mother is neglectful enough to take a lack of response as agreement to collect her child from the airport, then surely it's better for the child that this is flagged asap, which would happen if the child is not met. He will be fine - probably treated like royalty by appropriately trained staff - and the mother/parents will be investigated appropriately.
HeronLanyon · 18/10/2021 07:16

Good Lord op what an awful woman she is.

If it were me I would reply (even now) ‘I can’t do this’.
I’d do this so it was a hard no from me.

Wonder if she’ll simply get an earlier flight if possible or indeed book a train back, likely the day before, if need be to look after her child. No big drama in the scheme of motherhood.

HouseOfFire · 18/10/2021 07:31

@Springplanting

seriously the child is at risk at an airport anyone could do anything to her child.

Please report her.

Do you think the child will be left alone at the airport by the airline?

If under a certain age, they need to be handed to a responsible pre agreed adult

JustDanceAddict · 18/10/2021 07:32

I’d reply and say you’re not available on that day.
I can’t believe she’s organised a flight for her 10 year old with no proper pick up arrangements. But that’s her issue, not yours.
I feel bad for the boy but he is her responsibility, not yours.

Biancadelrioisback · 18/10/2021 07:39

@PyongyangKipperbang

As a PP posted, a parent has to inform the airline who is meeting an unaccompanied minor off a flight. If the CF has named the OP (in order to book the seat) then it would be in the OPs interest to have proof that she declined to do that.

When a ten year old is not met off a flight then they would be questioning the named person, and that may be the OP, so better to have proof that she was named without her consent than simply ignoring it. It really could get legal.

If she gave OPs details in order to book the seat, OP does have proof that she didn't agree to help in the form of the text OP got yesterday asking her to pick him up.

The text has been sent after the flight has been booked, even if it wasn't, OP doesn't agree to anything so she doesn't have to prove anything.

Also what legal action could be taken against OP?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 18/10/2021 07:43

I don’t know why you’re getting a hard time here. He’s not your kid and he’s not your responsibility. It’s his mother’s responsibility and sending a CF text telling someone what is going to happen is nowhere near enough. A phone call asking for help is one thing a text demanding it is completely something else.

And TBF this wouldn’t have been unknown till now-she would have known the times of her son’s fight before she booked her own and don’t care enough to ensure she was there for him. She just thought she’d palm him off on someone else to extend her own holiday.

Nah-not your circus, not your monkeys.

sunglassesonthetable · 18/10/2021 07:50

When a ten year old is not met off a flight then they would be questioning the named person, and that may be the OP, so better to have proof that she was named without her consent than simply ignoring it. It really could get legal.

It really could not.

In what world would OP have to defend herself against legal action?

Wether you reply or not it makes not one jot of difference OP.

CF is onto the next person she vaguely knows in your area to pick up the poor kid.

KingsleyShacklebolt · 18/10/2021 07:50

I know why she's getting a hard time. Because she's doing the right thing and ignoring, not replying to the CF and stoking the drama. The people urging her to reply just want to extend the drama and keep their entertainment going. Irrespective of whether that's the right thing for OP to do or not. Same as the people telling her to "cover her own back" whatever that means.

Most of us who HAVE come across a CF know how they operate. Noy on this scale, but I was left standing outside Boots for 20 minutes with the local CF's dog, because she ambushed me in the high street while I was distracted reading a text from DD on my phone with "Oh Kingsley lovely to see you, just have to pop into the chemist, you don't mind holding onto the dog do you, be right back" and was off before I'd realised what was happening and without me getting a word in edgeways.

Standrewsschool · 18/10/2021 07:53

Anyone else looking forward to Wednesday, to see if the drama unfolds?

NerrSnerr · 18/10/2021 08:04

OP of course you have no responsibility to this child or his ghastly mother. I think what people are saying is that you might want to reply with an unquestionable 'no' before blocking her, because these sorts of people are inherently manipulative & can become troublesome. Of course your silence cannot be interpreted as consent, & if the situation developed & you were contacted by airport staff or even SS about this, there can be no comeback on you. But making your lack of consent clear & then blocking her prevents you from ever having to deal with the sort of nonsense that she may try to bring to your doorstep.

I agree with this. I'd reply 'No' and then block, just so you don't end up with phone calls down the line which will be a pain in the arse to deal with. I 100% agree there should be no further dialogue but she sounds like a massive pain in the arse so I think a one word reply before blocking would be more final.

user1471538283 · 18/10/2021 08:07

I don't understand why the OP is being given a hard time. It is not her child, her responsibility.

We can all do that - send random texts to people and just assume that they will take responsibility of our child/life/problems.

I have only once asked for emergency help picking up my DS and that's because I was stranded on a big road surrounded by sheep (I know I couldn't believe it). His school was five minutes away from my friend, she wasn't in work and we often helped each other out.

This was and always has been one sided. That is not friendship.

Underamour · 18/10/2021 08:07

I think the posters saying ignore are right. Anything she says will lead to further messages and annoyance. Women are trained to be polite and helpful and the CF is counting on this. We do however need an update!

KaptainKaveman · 18/10/2021 08:11

OP can you just text back "I can't, I'm not around" and leave it in her court?

She sounds awful.

Fralla · 18/10/2021 08:19

I've not read the thread at all, but just wanted to say that this is not your responsibility at all.

And the airline will not just let the kid off the plane, they will want to safely hand him over to a responsible adult. So you will not have to worry about the kid being alone at the airport! Not sure what the airline staff do though if there isn't anyone there...

LoisWooookersonsLastNerve · 18/10/2021 08:28

CF probably sent the text to more than one person, she's probably already found someone to do it. I don't think she's going to text the op again. Silence speaks volumes.

HappyDays40 · 18/10/2021 08:31

Authorities would not assume some sort of contract of responsibility based off a text don't be ridiculous. Better not to engage altogether.
Why is everyone attacking OP? As for responsibility they would hand an unaccompanied minor over to a named person who has consented to collection and has access to the airport with their passport details not some random adult in some sort of drive by in the car park!
They certainly will not let the child go wandering off around the airport what planet are people on?
If needed the police and SS would be involved and certainly won't be knocking at OPs door. I would love to know what happens though.

3peassuit · 18/10/2021 08:35

You don’t owe the CF the curtesy of a reply. Stick to your guns and ignore the text. You and her son, deserve better.

Luckytattie · 18/10/2021 08:39

@KaptainKaveman

OP can you just text back "I can't, I'm not around" and leave it in her court?

She sounds awful.

She doesn't need to It's still in the mother's court. You don't just assume someone is doing something just cause you sent a txt Confused
KaptainKaveman · 18/10/2021 08:42

Am I right in thinking that there is no way of checking whether or not a text message has been delivered and subsequently read, unlike a Whatsapp message?

Either way the so called 'friend' is a CF of the highest order.

sunglassesonthetable · 18/10/2021 08:42

Authorities would not assume some sort of contract of responsibility based off a text don't be ridiculous. Better not to engage altogether.
Why is everyone attacking OP? As for responsibility they would hand an unaccompanied minor over to a named person who has consented to collection and has access to the airport with their passport details not some random adult in some sort of drive by in the car park!
They certainly will not let the child go wandering off around the airport what planet are people on?
If needed the police and SS would be involved and certainly won't be knocking at OPs door. I would love to know what happens though.

Common Sense prevails. ⬆️

TopBlogger · 18/10/2021 08:48

Why is everyone attacking OP?

Err..... they aren't Hmm Only a relatively small batshit percentage. Most are supportive of her