To never speak to her again- CF!

[Peanutbuttermandms]

I have a long term school ‘friend’, let’s call her S. I hear from her very sporadically and most recently, when she wants something: sponsorship money from me for one of her ‘challenges’ to stay in my central city home (!)… but folks, I give you the best one to date today…

Text out of the blue.. not even a ‘how are you’.. can I pick her son up from the airport (!) on Wednesday as he’s flying in alone (he is 10) from his dad’s abroad. You’re thinking wtaf, right?

The text goes on.. she can’t and her new DP are holidaying in the south of France and their flight doesn’t get in to airport until 5pm.. so the wee mite is alone for 4 hours after travelling alone. At 10. Jesus!

It ends ‘would obviously be great to see you too!!’

AIBU to think cheeky fucker and never speak to the self centred cow again?

[quote Peanutbuttermandms]@BronwenFrideswide there is a reserved word for people who treat others like she is her son and I. I won’t repeat it..[/quote]
There is, I know the word you mean and it fits your ex-friend perfectly.

OP's mind is obviously firmly made up and her course of action determined. No response. In this case I don't see why the endorsement of MN is necessary, but all power to you OP for making a firm decision as to how you are and are not willing to be treated.

Had this decision been less resolute I don't doubt the thread consensus would suggest you stick to your guns.

To avoid her sending through flight times and assuming she's washed her hands and discharged her responsibility, it would be a good idea to block her on every avenue through which she might make contact.

None of the responsibility is yours no matter what she does. But if your desired result is to avoid any form of engagement or drama. I'd say blocks all round would be the most effective way of sparing you that.

Poor kid.

Again @MagnoliaBeige Do you have any experience in child protection?
It’s really interesting to hear from all these internet experts…

Can you see where I am coming from now ? All this chat of SD, referral, crisis, awful communication, uncontactable mother .. who would willingly involve themselves in that for someone who thinks it’s such low level that it can be casually dropped in a text?! Come on. A

I mean, how would the phone call to SS go?
"Hello, I'd like to report that a child landed at the airport today and his mother wasn't there so she asked me to pick him up and I did."

I'd still text NO to her though and then block her just for the sheer pleasure of knowing that she would be shocked and discombobulated by seeing it and the horror of the dawning realisation that you are not her skivvy and that she would now be scrabbling around trying to find someone else to do it and have to show herself up to them for what she is.

Much easier to just text back. No. I’m busy. Can’t etc

Rather then play games

If you don’t reply she may as she’s a cf, think that’s a yes

She can fly home on Tuesday. There are a gazillion airports in the south of France and many flights a day to the U.K.

I wouldn't respond either. Don't open dialogue.

Just block her now.

Oh, I don’t know. The attitude is such that she thinks that’s ok in the first place. The silence will be deafening for her- she’s not used to it.

Won’t be enough for her to realise she is the issue though.

Hope she’s enjoying her holiday in the south of france.

I think there is more to this than meets the eye. I think if you go and get HER child you will then have to keep him for an indeterminate length of time. Be very careful with this.
If it was me I wouldn't reply. She really can't be that bothered about whether he gets picked up or not if she's sending out texts. I know if it was one of mine I would be phoning and grovelling in 'person'.

@Blondeshavemorefun did you rtft?!

@Blackberrycream

Again *@MagnoliaBeige* Do you have any experience in child protection? It’s really interesting to hear from all these internet experts…

I do actually, enough to know that social services aren’t going to be interested in a case where a parent asks a friend to pick their child up from the airport and the friend does so. But you sound very confident in your assertions so I bow to your superior confidence

Rather then play games

OP isn't playing games. She's just not engaging with a CFer

Amazing this thread. People post about CFers and get told not to engage then as soon as a poster doesn't engage she's somehow wrong.

Surely it depends on how long it’s been since she’s been in touch and how far the car trip would be?

@HerRoyalWitchyness

Rather then play games

OP isn't playing games. She's just not engaging with a CFer

Amazing this thread. People post about CFers and get told not to engage then as soon as a poster doesn't engage she's somehow wrong.

One reply

Them ignore if any other messages happen

@Azerothi or yes, no doubt. It’s never just a simple ask with people like this. If I ever found myself in a bind that I couldn’t move mountains to get out of, I would of course phone, apologise profusely and take into consideration the other persons life before asking!

@Bizawit 6 months and car trip of 5 hours.

@CallmeHendricks

I mean, how would the phone call to SS go? "Hello, I'd like to report that a child landed at the airport today and his mother wasn't there so she asked me to pick him up and I did."

Well if you were dealing with a different socio economic class they would be very interested. I don’t actually think the middle classes should be subject to different rules. Substitute in the pub, don’t want to do pick up and calling round acquaintances… Maybe the South of France makes all the difference

One reply why? That just opens the door for the CFer to start begging and trying to guilt trip OP. This way she doesn't have to deal with any of that

OP you say you’ve learned the power of a firm no, yet you seem adamant you would rather ignore than use it. What is it you’re afraid of?

@HerRoyalWitchyness I agree, why the hell am I getting a hard time 🥴😂

I can’t understand the risks of saying no.

I agree with you OP

I wouldn't respond at all, it's a ridiculous ask for someone you barely see nor have you ever indicated you would be on airport pick up duty for her minor child , it's so out of left field.

As PPs said the airline will have their own unaccompanied minor child policy - so if no one turns up to collect her son, they will alert authorities (CSD) following their own procedures. And that'd be the right thing for them to do.

She's his parent. You have no responsibility here and there will be no come back on you if you ignore her ridiculous text.

I think if you respond, she will try to manipulate you. Just pretend you never saw her text and never speak of it. Frankly I wouldn't blame you if you block her as she sounds a CF user who puts her needs before everyone else.

I couldn't be friends with someone who had a child so far down their list of priorities. He just sounds an inconvenience to her.

why the hell am I getting a hard time because you're standing your ground and not bowing to the whims of other posters.