To never speak to her again- CF!

[Peanutbuttermandms]

I have a long term school ‘friend’, let’s call her S. I hear from her very sporadically and most recently, when she wants something: sponsorship money from me for one of her ‘challenges’ to stay in my central city home (!)… but folks, I give you the best one to date today…

Text out of the blue.. not even a ‘how are you’.. can I pick her son up from the airport (!) on Wednesday as he’s flying in alone (he is 10) from his dad’s abroad. You’re thinking wtaf, right?

The text goes on.. she can’t and her new DP are holidaying in the south of France and their flight doesn’t get in to airport until 5pm.. so the wee mite is alone for 4 hours after travelling alone. At 10. Jesus!

It ends ‘would obviously be great to see you too!!’

AIBU to think cheeky fucker and never speak to the self centred cow again?

@MagnoliaBeige
Well having worked in inner city schools, a failure to pick up at home time would be a referral. This parent is in the South of France without a plan. Can you not see the issue?

She's a cheeky, self-centered cow, by the sounds of it. I don't think a 10-year-old should be on a flight alone. She should have at least been there to meet him off the plane.

I probably would have replied but you are not wrong to ignore and not responsible either. Hope this is the end of it. Does she have any other way of contacting you? I saw you blocked her. She might be enough of a CF to push it and try alternative contact methods.

Her poor boy, I really hope she doesn’t just leave him there. My dh found a 10 year old boy crying in the woods today as he was lost. He managed to speak to mum and sort out getting him back to the car park. The poor little mite was crying as he was so lost. Hopefully this CFs son is used to this type of thing and won’t get upset, but either way it isn’t on the OP, she is not responsible for his welfare. And even if the CF takes silence as acceptance the child won’t be kicked out of the airport, so he will be safe.

@CallmeHendricks nope I’ve commitments and no means to get there. Interested by your line of questioning though; even if I didn’t, are you suggesting I’m being obstructive to her unreasonable request if I perfectly reasonably say ‘no’! Lol.

"Well having worked in inner city schools, a failure to pick up at home time would be a referral."
But if the OP picks up then it's not a failure, is it? So why the need to make a referral?

This is one of those situations when the cf has made it someone else’s responsibility to do something without asking them or with their consent, and if they refuse, they’re the ones in the wrong.

The child at the airport is not op’s responsibilty. Even if the airport is given her name, he is still not the op’s responsibility.

To use a cliche, cf’s emergency is not op’s problem.

You shouldn't feel obliged to text her back but I wouldn't be able to help myself.

It's a child, not a parcel, so I think a brief 'no' however you want to frame it, is important. Dump the friendship by all means. But make sure there is no ambiguity at all re the child. Of course it's not your responsibility, but if she Is as irresponsible as you suggest why would you not do that and save the poor child some potential hardship.

@Standrewsschool got it in one.

A hard NO is fine, no need to flap and fluff and sugar coat it, a request was made and NO is one of the options one should anticipate in response. The OP doesn't need to lie or make stuff up to cushion the blow, doesn't need to put an apology in front of the no, the no on it's own is all that is required.

Of course not!
There's no need to give her reasons as to why you can't/won't do it, true or not. Don't engage, as you've decided.

But if the OP picks up then it'snota failure, is it?

Wel no but she's under no obligation to pick this child up, she hasn't agreed to pick this child up. It has nothing to do with her. It's his mother's responsibility to make sure he's collected and if she can't she should change the flight times

@sessell still don’t see how I have to clarify anything with her when she has made a request from me which I’ve neither acknowledged or agreed to. I’ve a right to remain silent. I am.

She has a right to parental responsibility. She’s not!

@BronwenFrideswide yes, and a lack of response IS a response too…

I would do this for an old friend, yes.
It rather depends how much you actually like her.

Years ago when air travel was much more relaxed, our 10 yo was allowed to fly between parents (short haul budget carrier, Europe) but dad had to stay in the uk airport until the flight landed and I had to be at the receiving end from uk take off. Not too onerous as only 1.5 he flight. Then age went up to 13 then 16 and now as previous posters have noted has ceased in the low cost market.

I also travelled as an UM extensively as a child and have clear memories of lots of paperwork and photos attached to the bloody great neck tag..... you had to complete everything when you booked the flight.

She's taking the piss, even if you went they wouldn't release the child to you.

@PoetryLaser I don’t think it does matter whether I like or liked her. The facts and responsibility remain the same, irrespective of personalities.

She’s morally reprehensible for allowing this situation in the first place.

Without a doubt. Not someone who has the qualities I would look for in a friend, I'm pleased for you that you have seen her for what she is, OP.

@CallmeHendricks

"Well having worked in inner city schools, a failure to pick up at home time would be a referral." But if the OP picks up then it's not a failure, is it? So why the need to make a referral?

Seriously! The op would be making the pick up to avoid distress to the child. That would be in tandem with a referral.Do you actually have any experience dealing with child protection?

@BronwenFrideswide there is a reserved word for people who treat others like she is her son and I. I won’t repeat it..

@PoetryLaser

I would do this for an old friend, yes. It rather depends how much you actually like her.

Well I’m guessing that the fact OP has started a CF thread about her means they’re not particularly close these days.

[quote Blackberrycream]@MagnoliaBeige
Well having worked in inner city schools, a failure to pick up at home time would be a referral. This parent is in the South of France without a plan. Can you not see the issue?[/quote]
Can you not see that if the OP takes your advice, there is no failure to pick up and the parent in the South of France did have a plan? So again, what exactly is the risk that social services would be interested in if the OP takes your advice and picks up the child (which she’s clearly not going to do)

OP you don't owe her but the No text is the decent thing to do re the child. Also puts you on the moral high ground, which matters if you have any mutual friends. Finally will save stress. If I was in your situation I'd have nightmares about what is. A No text sorts all that.

@HerRoyalWitchyness

But if the OP picks up then it'snota failure, is it?

Wel no but she's under no obligation to pick this child up, she hasn't agreed to pick this child up. It has nothing to do with her. It's his mother's responsibility to make sure he's collected and if she can't she should change the flight times

I think we're all saying the same thing here.

However, a poster said that, if it were them, they would pick up AND THEN inform SS. My point was that, if the child had been collected (regardless of the rights and wrongs of the mother's attitude), SS would not need to be informed, as there was no crisis.

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