To be annoyed at DH

[1teaandchocolate]

On Friday morning, DH and his friend drove 4 hours down south for an event on the Saturday morning. He told me he would be back Saturday around 4. Fine by me.

He let me know when he was on his way back, told me roughly what time he would be at his friends (dropping him off). He rang me at 4.30 to tell me he was in a pub and would see me soon. DD (2) kept shouting daddy because she wanted to speak to him and I was trying to give DS (9months) his tea. He then rang back and told me he didn't know if he was going to come back. I then reminded him that he has a wife and 2 children at home and responsibilities. His friend is newly single and my DH seems to be enjoying being the 'wing man'.

After I put the kids to bed, I get a text 'I'm obviously not coming home. Don't be angry.'.
We have a wedding tomorrow lunchtime, his friend lives over an hour away and the wedding is over an hour away from our house. He has also told me he is going to stay at the wedding for the evening do so I'll have to take the kids home on my own and put them to bed whilst he enjoys a free room in the hotel.

I don't mind him having fun and seeing friends, but Ive have barely had any family time with him since beginning of august. He keeps making plans with his single mate!

AIBU?! I'm so annoyed at him, i haven't even text him back. I actually have no idea where he is. I don't know if he even made it back to his friends. I know he's in the country because his passport is here 👍🏼

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

What you do next is so important - stay strong and don’t let him minimise this. Stay in control and put your happiness first, and that of your children.

Great advice.

[Sn0tnose]

Good for you. And really glad you’ve got some support irl too. I hope that this is the short, sharp shock he needs to figure out his priorities.

[overnightangel]

Wonder what bullshit he’ll tell his parents as to why he’s been thrown out … if he actually goes to his parents, and not his mate’s.

Does he hold down a job?

[trackerc]

Hope you're doing okay OP
Been thinking of you. Everything can feel difficult with DC to consider. I hope you're able to work through your family decisions, get real life support, consider & talk honestly about what you & the DC require. Scraps offered when you have youngster & a baby doesn't bode well for the future so be clear what it is or I'm fearful he'll consider 'a couple of nights at his parents & 2 Saturdays not going out' cuts it to keep you sweet.

[Jux]

I think you have absolutely done the right thing. Is he at his mum's? I hope he tells the truth to his parents about why he's there, rather than just painting you as totally unreasonable psychotic. Glad your mum's with you - you'd be shocked at how often that doesn't happen (my own mum let me down like that so I suffered years of meanness from dh until he finally grew up).

Hope things work out for you, good luck.