Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

3 year old peeing in a potty in the corner of a museum

361 replies

Griddlesizzle · 16/10/2021 18:41

As it says in the title. Mother just whips the potty out and the child pees away, without the mum even asking anyone if there was a loo nearby. As a side point, the loo was less than 10m away…

Ai by - it’s pretty vile
Aibu - what else are you gonna do?

OP posts:
highstreetdiestreet · 16/10/2021 19:53

[quote Kanaloa]@highstreetdiestreet

My child is autistic as I said. He wasn’t able to speak and communicate properly and so wasn’t potty trained until much later than my other three children. Not sure what’s ‘ridiculous’ about it.[/quote]
Have you heard of sarcasm

Twilight7777 · 16/10/2021 19:54

YANBU ew! Imagine if a grown man decided that he couldn’t wait and just unzipped?! I know it’s a child but if the child doesn’t have the capacity to hold it then what are you doing taking him to a museum?

highstreetdiestreet · 16/10/2021 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Innocenta · 16/10/2021 19:54

@Clymene

It was horrible in the 80s, it's horrible now.

And I have an autistic child who was very late to toilet train and screamed at hand dryers.

Thank you for saying this!Thanks So sick of everyone justifying this on the basis of additional needs. It's not okay to make a disabled child go in public. It's not fair on them, not just on those around.
afaloren · 16/10/2021 19:55

Gross

I don’t have kids tho!

Innocenta · 16/10/2021 19:57

Some people really do not recognise or acknowledge the genuine equal personhood of disabled children (and adults).

Somehow it's not supposed to really 'count' for a disabled child to relieve themselves in public? But they deserve as much dignity as any able-bodied child or adult, even if it's not the easiest or most convenient solution.

Kanaloa · 16/10/2021 19:58

Yes I’ve heard of sarcasm but didn’t think this was sarcasm. Apologies if it was a joke, I have heard it in earnest many times so presumed it was serious. If you have a disabled child I’m sure you understand.

HouseOfFire · 16/10/2021 19:59

@Curtaintwitching

She was not harassed and I know the age of the child because we were out with them. Relatives of my DH
Name change fail?
Clymene · 16/10/2021 19:59

@Innocenta

Some people really do not recognise or acknowledge the genuine equal personhood of disabled children (and adults).

Somehow it's not supposed to really 'count' for a disabled child to relieve themselves in public? But they deserve as much dignity as any able-bodied child or adult, even if it's not the easiest or most convenient solution.

Exactly. It's about dignity. Toileting is a private act. It should be for everyone.
LuckyC27 · 16/10/2021 19:59

Went to the zoo last week and saw this happen twice with two different families, potty’s looked like back packs. I don’t have a toddler so wondered if it was the new done thing?

Spottybluepyjamas · 16/10/2021 19:59

Children that age aren't able to hold it for very long once they realise that they need to go. If the toilet was on the other side of the museum then the likelihood would be wet trousers if they decided to try and dash there. I'd have no problem with a child using a potty in a public place at that age.

LookingGlassMilk · 16/10/2021 20:00

Innocenta

A "Don't take the child into public places if they can't badly a hand dryer" I'm presuming badly is a typo for handle? A lot of children with autism can't handle hand driers. Your suggestion was not not take them into public places.

B I understand the meaning of the word. If I were to have followed your advice and kept my autistic son at home, never daring to enter a public place, then I think his development would have been damaged. That is oppression.

C That came much later. It wouldn't be an option for most parents of autistic toddlers because diagnosis takes a long time. My son wasn't diagnosed at the time.

Janaih · 16/10/2021 20:01

I read somewhere those air blade dryers are louder than they were supposed to be and it is actually painful for many small children's ears.
Still, get a set of ear defenders if this is the case. I blame that ridiculous oh crap potty training book.

Hardybloodyhar · 16/10/2021 20:01

I have never seen or heard if this, except on Mumsnet. It's utterly bizarre.
And it doesn't just happen. The mother bought the potty with her, so it was her plan all along.
I have never gone anywhere with a potty in my purse. The thought of carrying it around once used. Envy (not envy).
Carrying and needing spare pants was bad enough.
I'd go on outings to places with a toilet and pro actively take them every time we walked past.

Polly2345 · 16/10/2021 20:01

We went through a phase of doing this with both our DC. Just for a few months and then they could hold it long enough to get to a loo. The alternative would have been to potty train much later or not leave the house for those few months, neither of which I wanted to do.

3isthemagicnumber3 · 16/10/2021 20:02

I have 3 children and have never needed to do this.

Innocenta · 16/10/2021 20:02

@LookingGlassMilk

Innocenta

A "Don't take the child into public places if they can't badly a hand dryer" I'm presuming badly is a typo for handle? A lot of children with autism can't handle hand driers. Your suggestion was not not take them into public places.

B I understand the meaning of the word. If I were to have followed your advice and kept my autistic son at home, never daring to enter a public place, then I think his development would have been damaged. That is oppression.

C That came much later. It wouldn't be an option for most parents of autistic toddlers because diagnosis takes a long time. My son wasn't diagnosed at the time.

No, you don't understand the meaning of the word. You can't just decide that someone who is located within a system of oppression is, conversely, an oppressor. Even the fact that you think you have the right to do this indicates how deeply complicit you are.
Toodlydoo · 16/10/2021 20:02

Potty trained DD at 20 months (23 now and has the odd accident but it’s usually our fault). We would basically have a wee before we leave the house then a wee after 1.5 hours. Always give her the opportunity to go for a quick pee at regular intervals and i always check where the loos are. Tbh I don’t see the need for a potty in the middle of a room at the museum, if you plan a little this is avoidable.

I do have some sympathy it was not easy getting out and about at the beginning of potty training (we left a potty in the boot so my DD could pee easily). I probably wouldn’t get too upset about it but a 3yr old will be aware people are looking at them, it can’t be pleasant.

Glassofshloer · 16/10/2021 20:02

@Polly2345

We went through a phase of doing this with both our DC. Just for a few months and then they could hold it long enough to get to a loo. The alternative would have been to potty train much later or not leave the house for those few months, neither of which I wanted to do.
Didn’t you now Hmm 🙄
Innocenta · 16/10/2021 20:03

Also, you 'thinking' that something 'could have' happened in a hypothetical scenario is not oppression. @LookingGlassMilk

Clymene · 16/10/2021 20:04

@Polly2345

We went through a phase of doing this with both our DC. Just for a few months and then they could hold it long enough to get to a loo. The alternative would have been to potty train much later or not leave the house for those few months, neither of which I wanted to do.
And yet millions of parents - including those with children with additional needs - manage.
Glassofshloer · 16/10/2021 20:05

Quite, @Clymene

It’s ‘me myself and I’ with these people.

Kanaloa · 16/10/2021 20:05

@Polly2345

We went through a phase of doing this with both our DC. Just for a few months and then they could hold it long enough to get to a loo. The alternative would have been to potty train much later or not leave the house for those few months, neither of which I wanted to do.
This is basically the issue. Parents want their child to potty train ‘earlier’ but in fact the child isn’t ready as they can’t hold it or even a tiny amount of time to reach a toilet. So the child actually isn’t potty trained at all, the parents are just relying on getting them on the potty immediately at any given time.
Royalbloo · 16/10/2021 20:05

Nah, couldn't ever get worked up about this. Sorry!

RedMarauder · 16/10/2021 20:06

@LuckyC27

Went to the zoo last week and saw this happen twice with two different families, potty’s looked like back packs. I don’t have a toddler so wondered if it was the new done thing?
I've been in a playground which had clean - yes I was shocked they were clean when my DD needed used them - public toilets nearby and seen parents using potties in a corner of the playground.

The other playgrounds that don't have public toilets I've never seen parents using potties. They just timed their visits, like we did, to use the nearby pubs when they were open.

Swipe left for the next trending thread