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AIBU?

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Original poster

3 year old peeing in a potty in the corner of a museum

361 replies

Griddlesizzle · 16/10/2021 18:41

As it says in the title. Mother just whips the potty out and the child pees away, without the mum even asking anyone if there was a loo nearby. As a side point, the loo was less than 10m away…

Ai by - it’s pretty vile
Aibu - what else are you gonna do?

OP posts:
LookingGlassMilk · 16/10/2021 20:08

No, you don't understand the meaning of the word. You can't just decide that someone who is located within a system of oppression is, conversely, an oppressor. Even the fact that you think you have the right to do this indicates how deeply complicit you are.

FFS. Don't try this pedantic bullshit with me. What you said was disgusting. There was no excuse for it.

How can you say something so horrible and then think you can try and deflect it back on me? I'm not the one saying horrible things about disabled people.

Why can't you just retract what you said and apologise?

Bigbonesmeatandgravy · 16/10/2021 20:08

But we don't know if there was a remarkable reason do we? So why wouldn't you be kind and assume that there was and turn the other way?
As for naked children on a beach making you feel uncomfortable? I have no words!

Bigbonesmeatandgravy · 16/10/2021 20:09

That was @Glassofshloer

Rosesareyellow · 16/10/2021 20:09

The alternative would have been to potty train much later or not leave the house for those few months, neither of which I wanted to do.

No, another alternative is to just potty train them when they are actually ready. If it was going to take months for them to still learn to anticipate a wee or hold it for a minute or two then clearly they weren’t. You might reasonably be in a situation where they still struggle with this for a couple of weeks at most (usually a few days) when you’ve just started training - but for those incidents, which shouldn’t be too frequent, you just keep a change of clothes on you.

Glassofshloer · 16/10/2021 20:10

@Bigbonesmeatandgravy

But we don't know if there was a remarkable reason do we? So why wouldn't you be kind and assume that there was and turn the other way? As for naked children on a beach making you feel uncomfortable? I have no words!
Oh no, #bekind has showed up!

Why not #bekind to the public around you by behaving appropriately and not expecting them to accommodate your slobby parenting decisions?

dizzydizzydizzy · 16/10/2021 20:11

Honestly, I think there are bigger problems.

Child might be under 2.DD is now 6' and when she was a child, people always thought she was much older than she was. When she was 2, they thought she was 3 or 4, when she was 3, people thought she wa/ 5. I was constantly having her behavior criticised by strangers because they would see I child who they assumed was much older than she really was. Could be same for this child.

YABU for complaining about such a trivial issue.

RedMarauder · 16/10/2021 20:11

@Hardybloodyhar

I have never seen or heard if this, except on Mumsnet. It's utterly bizarre. And it doesn't just happen. The mother bought the potty with her, so it was her plan all along. I have never gone anywhere with a potty in my purse. The thought of carrying it around once used. Envy (not envy). Carrying and needing spare pants was bad enough. I'd go on outings to places with a toilet and pro actively take them every time we walked past.
I have a porta potty.

I have taken it out with me but thanks to the Community toilet scheme which I found out about due to a relation with a disability, I've never used it.

Innocenta · 16/10/2021 20:11

@LookingGlassMilk

No, you don't understand the meaning of the word. You can't just decide that someone who is located within a system of oppression is, conversely, an oppressor. Even the fact that you think you have the right to do this indicates how deeply complicit you are.

FFS. Don't try this pedantic bullshit with me. What you said was disgusting. There was no excuse for it.

How can you say something so horrible and then think you can try and deflect it back on me? I'm not the one saying horrible things about disabled people.

Why can't you just retract what you said and apologise?

I didn't say anything disgusting. You're out of your mind if you think I should be apologising to you. You are the one attacking and berating a severely disabled woman because you think you ... somehow know more about ableism Hmm
Rosesareyellow · 16/10/2021 20:12

I've been in a playground which had clean - yes I was shocked they were clean when my DD needed used them - public toilets nearby and seen parents using potties in a corner of the playground.

I wonder if there’s some misconception that 2 and 3 year olds can’t sit on a normal toilet. Maybe their parents think they will fall in? (They won’t). I find it very confusing.

Lucia574 · 16/10/2021 20:12

Completely grim.

LookingGlassMilk · 16/10/2021 20:12

Also, you 'thinking' that something 'could have' happened in a hypothetical scenario is not oppression

Oh ok, good to know that my autistic child is not oppressed.

But would you rather that he was? You're the one who thinks I shouldn't have brought him out in public.

Innocenta · 16/10/2021 20:12

@Glassofshloer Absolutely. #Bekind is the death knell of good sense.

DoormatBob · 16/10/2021 20:12

I'm surprised by some of the ridiculous over reactions on here.

We have a travel potty in the car and have used it on plenty of occasions, never inside another building though to be fair.

Ive always had my own bladder/bowel issues so seeing something like this wouldn't bother me at all. You go where and when you can, get over yourselves.

LookingGlassMilk · 16/10/2021 20:13

Jesus Christ Innocenta, I'm not attacking you. I'm just taking offence at your comment.

Why can't you see that what you said is very offensive?

Anonymous48 · 16/10/2021 20:14

If they can't hold it for more than a few minutes to get to the loo, they aren't ready to be potty trained and should still be in nappies or pull ups in public.

Bigbonesmeatandgravy · 16/10/2021 20:15

@Glassofshloer no, no, not #BeKind, just "be kind". You know, those 2 little words that have been around for quite a while now. In this context, take it to mean don't be a superior, judgemental twat.

Innocenta · 16/10/2021 20:16

@LookingGlassMilk

Also, you 'thinking' that something 'could have' happened in a hypothetical scenario is not oppression

Oh ok, good to know that my autistic child is not oppressed.

But would you rather that he was? You're the one who thinks I shouldn't have brought him out in public.

Again, you are drastically misrepresenting my points, which is quite disgusting. You are the one viciously attacking a severely disabled woman, so you might want to consider your behaviour, here!

A hypothetical situation cannot be oppressive. There absolutely is genuine oppression related to being neurodiverse (I am neurodiverse too, not 'only' physically disabled), but it's most odd that you are trying to add to that.

Innocenta · 16/10/2021 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Glassofshloer · 16/10/2021 20:17

@Bigbonesmeatandgravy if having a little respect for the public around me to create an overall nicer societal environment makes me a ‘judgemental twat’ then so be it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Nocutenamesleft · 16/10/2021 20:17

Horrific and totally inappropriate

A museum for instance. Is a public place. So what would you do if someone took a photo of your child?

The police couldn’t do anything. Because it’s a public place

No no and no. No.

If anything I’d stick a nappy on under the clothes. But I wouldn’t ask my child to get naked in public.

whatatool · 16/10/2021 20:19

I cannot believe so many of you are so offended by this?!
When they say they need to go at that age it's often 5 seconds warning.
Why aren't you up in arms about things that matter rather than a toddler pissing in a potty?!

pantsandpringles · 16/10/2021 20:23

I wouldn't have cared tbh. Not my business, as I don't know anything about the people, or the situation surrounding it.

Chickpea22 · 16/10/2021 20:23

Just couldn’t be arsed to get het up about this. So many awful things going on. This is just inconsequential.

LookingGlassMilk · 16/10/2021 20:23

Innocenta

If you are worried that I am twisting your words, then I will quote them here.

"Don't take the child into public places if they can't badly a hand dryer"

I find this sentence very offensive as the parent of an autistic child. It is a horrible thing to say.
This is a public forum, and if you are going to say something like that, then it's quite likely that someone will find it upsetting.

Clocktopus · 16/10/2021 20:24

Part of potty training is learning to hold it, if you're plonking a potty down everytime they say they need a wee then they're not learning that. Yes, they might have an accident but that's also part of potty training and you minimise this by having tactical toilet trips (e.g., before leaving the house, upon arrival, before eating, etc) and by waiting until they're reliably dry/clean before going on days out.