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AIBU?

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Original poster

3 year old peeing in a potty in the corner of a museum

361 replies

Griddlesizzle · 16/10/2021 18:41

As it says in the title. Mother just whips the potty out and the child pees away, without the mum even asking anyone if there was a loo nearby. As a side point, the loo was less than 10m away…

Ai by - it’s pretty vile
Aibu - what else are you gonna do?

OP posts:
Clocktopus · 16/10/2021 19:26

You've never heard of a potette then.

No, because there's no need for a potty outside of the house (and realistically no need for one inside the house either but that's personal choice).

JudgeJ · 16/10/2021 19:27

@DPotter

When a toddler needs to go, they need to go. better a potty than a puddle and an upset child and hassled Mum.

Maybe the mother knew exactly where the toilet was and also knew the kid wouldn't make it

Hassled or lazy who can't be bothered to find a loo? Still as long as She's OK Jack.
DeepaBeesKit · 16/10/2021 19:27

Clocktopus see I think that's absolutely minging making a toilet trained child use a nappy. It's basically making them wet themselves.

If you were stuck in a motorway traffic jam which would you do, go and wee discreetly behind a bush, or wear an adult nappy?

Bet it's not the nappy. Yuck.

Clocktopus · 16/10/2021 19:28

Yeah, that doesn't sound discreet at all actually

Quiet corner, my body blocking DC from view, slide whole nappy into back of pants (no pulling down the pants), pull front half of nappy up from the front (again no need to pull down or remove pants), fasten, done.

Much more discreet than allowing a child to pull their pants down and wee on a potty.

Somethingsnappy · 16/10/2021 19:29

@AliceinBorderland

Most cafes wouldn't be happy for people to go in just to use the loo.

They could buy a drink you know. Rather than using an office door step as public toilet.

By which time the child has probably had an accident.....
NigellaSeed · 16/10/2021 19:29

Funny how many people think it's vile and disgusting. It's a little 3 year old peeing in a potty. A toddler still. It's hardly a sweaty old man squatting over a empty can of beans. Get a grip.

DeepaBeesKit · 16/10/2021 19:29

Clocktopus my DD age 2 is tiny and the family small toilet seats dont fit our loo. We need a potty because she isn't big enough to safely use an adult toilet.

If you never ever took a potty out, how old were your children when trained?

Clocktopus · 16/10/2021 19:29

Clocktopus see I think that's absolutely minging making a toilet trained child use a nappy. It's basically making them wet themselves.

Toilet training, not trained. It was an emergency nappy so for emergencies, child had the option to not use it, and across four DC I used it less than a handful of times.

YouTubeAddict · 16/10/2021 19:29

Only on MN. I think this happens because people try potty training before kids are ready. I didn’t even try until DS was three and he was perfect within a week (we just stayed at home) Not a single accident because he was ready.

Clocktopus · 16/10/2021 19:30

If you never ever took a potty out, how old were your children when trained?

One at 2yo, one at two and a half, one just before age 3, and the other at just under three and a half.

Bywayofanupdate · 16/10/2021 19:31

I'm with you. They're not going to be able to use a potty in public forever so why start that way? And yes it's grim and uncomfortable for everyone in the surrounding area 😱 I was horrified when my friend got her son's potty out in a cafe garden for her little boy to use.

Clocktopus · 16/10/2021 19:31

Clocktopus my DD age 2 is tiny and the family small toilet seats dont fit our loo. We need a potty because she isn't big enough to safely use an adult toilet.

That's fine, it's your choice. I meant it's not compulsory/essential to have a potty.

LookingGlassMilk · 16/10/2021 19:32

Don't take the child into public places if they can't badly a hand dryer

This is a horrible ableist comment. Should children with autism never be brought into public places?

My eldest has autism and was absolutely terrified of hand driers. Our solution was to use a portable potty. We tried our best to find a quiet empty corridor somewhere. He loved fire extinguishers so we usually found a spot beside them.

I didn't have to do this with my other two children. They didn't have the same problems. It's not that they were parented so much better -they didn't have the same sensory issues.

highstreetdiestreet · 16/10/2021 19:32

@Clocktopus

You've never heard of a potette then.

No, because there's no need for a potty outside of the house (and realistically no need for one inside the house either but that's personal choice).

It's a matter of opinion.

There's absolutely no need to judge how parents decide to potty train their young children.

DeepaBeesKit · 16/10/2021 19:33

I didn’t even try until DS was three and he was perfect within a week (we just stayed at home) Not a single accident because he was ready.

I did both mine at 2 and had maybe half a dozen accidents. That's probably 4 nappies a day per child, 2 kids, 365 days in a year....close to 3000 nappies saved from landfill/150 nappy cycles in the washing machine. These are the different choices we all need to make for the environment.

highstreetdiestreet · 16/10/2021 19:33

@Clocktopus

Yeah, that doesn't sound discreet at all actually

Quiet corner, my body blocking DC from view, slide whole nappy into back of pants (no pulling down the pants), pull front half of nappy up from the front (again no need to pull down or remove pants), fasten, done.

Much more discreet than allowing a child to pull their pants down and wee on a potty.

If the child is in a corner and blocked by my body, then using a potette is literally no different.

And it's not teaching them to wet themselves.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/10/2021 19:33

@Curtaintwitching

She was not harassed and I know the age of the child because we were out with them. Relatives of my DH
Are you the op? Name change fail?
CoastalWave · 16/10/2021 19:33

Grim. They're doing it for attention.

If they actually bothered to potty train PROPERLY (ie take the week off work and nail it at home first, then short trips not a bloody trek round a museum) there would be no need to do this.

Thelivesofothers · 16/10/2021 19:34

Did this years ago and I'm not sorry.

You can't ever know other people's lives, so some of the global condemnation on this thread feels a little misplaced.

Let me give you some details: by the time this happened I was over a year into toilet training a child with undiagnosed (later diagnosed) special needs. It was a huge victory when he could tell me he needed to go, so I had to respond immediately because that was the timeframe he operated in. I was horribly socially isolated, and meeting a friend for the first time in many months.

What would you have me do, let him piss all over the floor in the national gallery? Piss himself even though he'd told me he needed? Magically transport myself up a flight of stairs and through three galleries with a double pram to the accessible toilets? Cage me up at home with the rest of the parents of "unmentionables"? Not let me leave the house? Deprive him of the opportunity to toilet in a socially acceptable way by keeping him in nappies until someone else deemed it appropriate? Suddenly wish away his "differences"?

Judge less, lest ye be judged. If you're a perfect parent to a perfect child, knock yourself out, but maybe think of the lives of others before you decide how outranged you're going to get about something so utterly minor.

P.s. he's 16 now and fully toilet trained, able to take himself off to the loo and I know how very very fortunate I am that that's the case.

Innocenta · 16/10/2021 19:34

@LookingGlassMilk

Don't take the child into public places if they can't badly a hand dryer

This is a horrible ableist comment. Should children with autism never be brought into public places?

My eldest has autism and was absolutely terrified of hand driers. Our solution was to use a portable potty. We tried our best to find a quiet empty corridor somewhere. He loved fire extinguishers so we usually found a spot beside them.

I didn't have to do this with my other two children. They didn't have the same problems. It's not that they were parented so much better -they didn't have the same sensory issues.

Sorry, no, it isn't. Toileting your child in the open is degrading, and I'm saying that as a severely disabled person.
Clocktopus · 16/10/2021 19:34

I didn’t even try until DS was three and he was perfect within a week (we just stayed at home)

This is pretty much what I did, age difference aside. I waited for signs of readiness then picked a long weekend to stay at home and do it, started on the Friday and by the Monday they were reliable enough to take out and about. As a PP said, you ask them when passing a loo if they need to go.

Clymene · 16/10/2021 19:35

It's disgusting. There is no excuse.

Clocktopus · 16/10/2021 19:35

And it's not teaching them to wet themselves.

Neither is using an emergency nappy once in a blue moon.

Innocenta · 16/10/2021 19:36

@Thelivesofothers Why do only your and your child's needs matter in this situation? What about everyone else who is affected?

DeepaBeesKit · 16/10/2021 19:37

Toileting your child in the open is degrading, and I'm saying that as a severely disabled person.

Clearly there are no men on this thread because they wee against trees, down alleyways and at street urinals late at night and dont seem to find it degrading. I see parents taking kids for wees behind the bushes in our local park a lot, the council closed the only public toilet near there years ago.