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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you keep the baby in this situation

140 replies

springturnips · 15/10/2021 17:54

An acquaintance who I speak to has occasionally was telling me a fiends daughter is pregnant after a one night stand at uni. I know it's none of my business but it got me wondering if you were in that position would you continue with the pregnancy or not. When we were discussing it we both said we personally wouldn't but there's no right or wrong answer and it's up to the woman to decide what's best for her.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 15/10/2021 19:10

At 18 no. Once upon a time I would have said yes, but over the last eight years, I've changed my mind. I planned a baby at 18, I was in a secure partnership. Unless she's got a lot of family support and willing babysitters, it's too tough going.

Stickyblue1987 · 15/10/2021 19:10

Yes I would continue with the pregnancy. My dsis had a baby at 17, was a single parent. She's now 30, married to a wonderful man, has another dc, owns a beautiful home and went back to uni as a mature student and is now a teacher.

PurpleFlower1983 · 15/10/2021 19:10

At that age I wouldn’t have, however, having had 2 children now I know I could never abort a baby.

RunningToHeaven · 15/10/2021 19:15

I would keep the baby as I know I would feel awful having an abortion. It’s just not something I could do.
But I completely believe in women being able to choose and would understand why some would choose to have an abortion. Hope she’s ok whatever decision she makes.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 15/10/2021 19:17

Great question for AIBU!

SilverGlassHare · 15/10/2021 19:19

I wouldn’t have at 18 or 19.

SilverGlassHare · 15/10/2021 19:22

I mean, I wouldn’t have kept the baby at that age.

Like a PP, having had a child, I now can’t imagine being able to abort. But I do think it’s entirely a matter for a woman to decide, I wouldn’t judge a woman who did abort whatever her reasons.

thewhatsit · 15/10/2021 19:24

As someone a fair bit older, married with kids, I could look back and say no way. But hand on heart, if it had happened to me at that age, I probably would have kept it.

JapanJetplane · 15/10/2021 19:25

Honestly don’t know. I’m 100% pro choice in any situation for any reason, but not sure it would be the right decision for me. But you never know until you are actually having to make the decision, so I couldn’t say definitively.

JohnGetHomeNow · 15/10/2021 19:30

No, but then I knew several girls through school who had babies at 15, 16 or 17 and saw first hand how demanding it was and costly. I was way too selfish and wanted to get my degree and improve my circumstances (poor family life) and I knew that basically getting pregnant that young wouldn't be my only chance at having a baby. I think the film Juno really sums it up when her Dad says you will be back here someday having a baby when you are ready or something like that.

Mummylewi · 15/10/2021 19:34

I would.

Bufferingkisses · 15/10/2021 19:39

Knowing what I know now, no I wouldn't. However without the life experience and hindsight I would - and did.

TedMullins · 15/10/2021 19:42

No chance. I had an abortion at 24 - really low paying job and I’d just been dumped by the guy who got me pregnant. There was never any hesitation and I never think about it. It wasn’t a big deal for me.

LaikO · 15/10/2021 19:46

I wouldn't have an abortion so yes, I'd keep the baby.

IfImLyingImDying · 15/10/2021 19:47

The OP is way too simplistic.

Glassofshloer · 15/10/2021 19:47

I had a termination at 17. It haunts me if I’m honest. It’s difficult because I have a lovely daughter now and have ended up in much better circumstances than I think would’ve been achievable as a teenage mother. But it doesn’t stop me feeling very sad and low sometimes. It’s a difficult topic isn’t it.

YouJustFoldItIn · 15/10/2021 19:49

Aboslutely not. It's a stupid, short sighted and selfish thing to do.

Middersweekly · 15/10/2021 19:56

No I wouldn’t keep the baby. Not from a one night stand. No matter the age. A relative had this happen though and she kept the baby. She was 30+ and not a student of any kind. Her choice at the end of the day but hard going though as the ONS man isn’t in the picture at all.

gofg · 15/10/2021 20:11

I would keep it.

lawofdistraction · 15/10/2021 20:13

A one night stand? Whilst doing a degree? No, I wouldn't keep it.

Mummadeze · 15/10/2021 20:16

I definitely would not have kept my baby in her situation. I got pregnant in my 20s and didn’t keep it because I felt too young

Tink626 · 15/10/2021 20:25

I would. I know there is no way I could go through with having an abortion. I don't judge women that do, but I know it isn't something I could ever do.

5329871e · 15/10/2021 20:27

I’d keep the baby. I just couldn’t kill it. Doesn’t matter how inconvenient for my life, it’s another human soul.

But I recognise that’s my choice, and I’m not anti-abortion for people who don’t feel the same way as I do. It would be terrible to be forced to have a baby.

But in general, I wish people had more respect for human life.

GettingItOutThere · 15/10/2021 20:28

at pre 21 in my circumstances , no.

older than that possible. but I am pro choice!

WyfOfBathe · 15/10/2021 20:43

One of my friends did have an abortion in similar circumstances. I completely understood why, but personally I think I'd have kept it.

I was born when my parents were 19, although they were already married, so the idea of being a young mum didn't worry me so much.

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