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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that daughter wont be able to go clubbing due to tightening of age checks

240 replies

Carolinethe · 15/10/2021 14:08

My DD is one of the youngest in her year -August baby- and so has only just turned 17.

She has several friends who are turning 18 shortly and one has already mentioned going to nightclubs etc. She gors to the pub with friends and I gather has been served alcohol before now but I dont like to probe too much.

My perception is that licensing requirements have been tightened up so its much harder to get in if you are under 18 these days. I dont want to tell her to try and blag it and have the embarassment of being turned away by a bouncer for not being old enough when all her friends will have got in. So realisticall is she fated to not going clubbing until until next year when probably the attraction will have worn off/ everyone will be going away?

In my day we were attending clubs from about 15 onwards and I had various forms of ID stating fale birthdates to make us 18+ for when we were asked. I believe now this has been clamped down on so that id is only available with proof of birthday etc so no chance of faking it.

what do others do? Or is it out of reach for her?

OP posts:
JellyfishandShells · 15/10/2021 15:19

My youngest was in the same situation - and looked much younger, as well, very baby faced. Her best friend had very strict parents who didn’t want her going out so at least she had some company when her older in the year friends were going out.

She wasn’t massively bothered by it, despite her older sister ( oldest in her year) having had a much more social time of it in her upper 6th.

She more than made up for it in her first year at Uni !

TatianaBis · 15/10/2021 15:20

@Rachie20

There’s a rotating trade in renting out/selling provisional licences around here. They change then create a social media profile to match as sometimes they get asked to show that to see if it matches.
Good work.
maddening · 15/10/2021 15:20

If she is going to try make sure she knows she can call you to get her if she does not get in as she will then be on her own trying to get home late at night and therefore vulnerable.

TeeBee · 15/10/2021 15:22

My 18-year old son went out clubbing last night (moderate size town South East). He was surprised to see that three 17-year olds, whose ID was scanned and beeped to show they should be rejected, actually got in with no problems at all. So I suspect it depends heavily on the club and on the people manning the door.

yikesanotherbooboo · 15/10/2021 15:22

My DD was ID'd aged 26; she had forgotten her ID and so was turned away from the venue despite having known one of the waitresses for her entire life.
Her cohort( nearly 30) had to wait until they were 18 to get into pubs and clubs unless they had very convincing fake ID. Same for my other DC and DNS . They just accepted it as the way things are now.

TatianaBis · 15/10/2021 15:24

Reminds me - once when I was around 15 a big group of us gathered on Wimbledon Common on a summer night and lit a bonfire. Some police turned up to check up on us and we explained we were too young go to the pub. I mean some of us could get served (I could as I was very tall) but not all - particularly the boys.

The police said, well it's not rocket science - you pick out the ones who look the oldest to go and buy the drinks and then take them outside. Grin

whatswithtodaytoday · 15/10/2021 15:24

It's been like that for years. I'm 40 and could get into clubs from 15, but they started cracking down the year after I turned 18. I was ID'd far more frequently post-18 than pre!

megletthesecond · 15/10/2021 15:28

I've not really been out in 16 years. Hardly anyone was ID'd in the 90s and early 00's. There were always youngsters in the pubs. Probably a good thing they've finally tightened age checks.

CarrotSticks23 · 15/10/2021 15:29

I'm 26 and this has always been the case my entire clubbing life. The days of getting into clubs at 15 are long gone!

I'm not sure I've ever been to a club(bar maybe one or two local ones) that would accept any ID except passport or drivers license. The only way is to either borrow an older siblings ID or find someone who looks like you and borrow theirs.

Even now I get IDed and would be turned away without. Very occasionally if you are with a group of people who are all solidly over 18 and you are forgotten you might, but a group of sixth formers?!

I'm August as well and honestly it's probably only about 4 months they miss out. You've got to wait till a solid portion of the year turn 18 before things start to move away from houseparties/pub crawls and then there's exams and things. I really didn't miss out on a lot but maybe I just had nice friends!

Tigerblue · 15/10/2021 15:29

My DD was born right at the end of August. Luckily she just accepted she wouldn't be going to a nightclub as she knew local pubs were hot on checking age id, so no point in trying. She used to go out for a drink/meal and there was always someone in the group who didn't want to go anyway, so had someone to come back with.

girlmom21 · 15/10/2021 15:32

Every time I've been clubbing they've ID'd everyone, even those very clearly over 25.

Her best bet would be a pub that has a dance floor and music on a Saturday night (not that I'm encouraging underage drinking - I think she should wait) but they're mostly pretty strict now.

StrongArm · 15/10/2021 15:37

the attraction doesn't wear off in a year's time believe me

dd is august and in general had to wait

some clubs do under 18 club nights though I doubt she would want to go - it's an option if she does though!

mine still get ID'd now in their 20s. In fact we were in the pub the other day and both of them got ID'd even though I was with them and said I was their mum and would vouch for them!

momtoboys · 15/10/2021 15:40

This made me think of an instance a few years ago when a mum of a student a couple of years behind two of my sons came up to me and asked "Can I ask where you bought your sons fake IDs?" I was stunned. I know kids get/make fake IDs and I don't doubt my kids have them but it never occurred to me that parents would actually go out and purchase a fake ID for their child to use? Maybe I'm just old and out of it! LOL

RollaCola84 · 15/10/2021 15:42

@ManAlive24 because being the only one who can't go when your friends are is crap. I missed out on the post A level results night out because I was a few days short of being 18.

UltimateBugKilla · 15/10/2021 15:48

Yabu, checking ID has been tightened upfor years.

Every local bar/pub/club (SE London) is no ID no entry.

whycantwegoonasthree · 15/10/2021 15:51

I regularly got turned away from clubs into my late twenties – I looked about 14 so they assumed my ID was fake.

Now that's annoying.

Getting refused entry to a nightclub when you already have a mortgage.

Sparklesocks · 15/10/2021 15:53

The penalties for businesses serving underage drinks are fines or sometimes risks their license if it’s repeat offences, so most bars and clubs don’t take any chances and will have ID checking in place. I imagine particularly after closing for COVID-19 etc they can’t afford to take those hits so are vigilant. She’s very unlikely to get in.

2Two · 15/10/2021 15:55

If your daughter blags her way into a club, potentially they lose their licence and/or the doorman and staff lose their jobs. Do you want that on her conscience?

JohnGetHomeNow · 15/10/2021 15:56

Ds had to either have a provisional or actual driving license or a citizen card which has the hologram on it. He is one of the youngest but the older ones didn't do bars/nightclubs because they wanted all their mates with them so they went to restaurants or hired places out.

Chloemol · 15/10/2021 16:06

It’s against the law to sell alcohol to those under 18

Why are you encouraging your daughter to break the law? And possibly get someone the sack for inadvertently selling it to her

GoldChick · 15/10/2021 16:08

Don't worry they will still want to go out next year

hangrylady · 15/10/2021 16:08

@HowardNoir

Your precious child will be fine without going clubbing, and much safer too! You can both get over it
Not sure where you got 'precious child's from. Yes I'm sure OP and her daughter will get over it but if you can't see it's a bit gutting for a teenager to miss out on something that all her friends are doing then you're a bit clueless. Why comment unless you have something constructive to say? (or know where she can get a decent fake ID).
sillysmiles · 15/10/2021 16:12

Personally I'd let her try but have it drilled into her that if she gets separated or gets refused at the door and her friends get in, that she's to ring and you'll collect her.

Heifer · 15/10/2021 16:13

Wow lots of judgy comments on here. My DD (almost 18) bought herself someone elses old provisional licence and has used that on numerous ocassions. It's been scanned lots of times, she's never had a problem getting into venues or being served alchol so far - she is going to a proper Nightclub for the 1st time this weekend so we will see if she gets in or not. It what lots of 17 yr old seem to do here.

Kite22 · 15/10/2021 16:13

ID checks have been stringent for many years.
My dc and dn and all their friends are in their 20s (heading towards 30s) and none of them would dream of going anywhere without ID..... including buying some cold medicine in a supermarket.
My married, 26 yr old god daughter got ID'd going into a 15 film with her 6' bearded husband a couple of years ago.......

That said, at 18, my dd did say she would often see people in clubs who she knew were in the school year below her or even the year below that, so some people clearly continue to get in on fake ID, as we always have done - I mean, it isn't difficult to borrow your brother / sister's driving licence if they aren't using it that night, is it?