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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS self conscious about his height

116 replies

walkingthroughtheleaves · 14/10/2021 22:25

My lovely DS who is 21 is 5 foot 8 and I get the feeling he is a bit self conscious about his height and wishes he was taller. Surely 5 foot 8 is a perfectly normal height for a man? I've told him that there's no point thinking about something you can't change and that you don't need to be any taller.

OP posts:
1smallhamsterfoot · 14/10/2021 22:32

I’m sure I read somewhere (quite possible I’m wrong) that average is 5 9. So he is shorter than average 🤷🏻‍♀️

PanicBuyingSprouts · 14/10/2021 22:34

However you look you can spend your whole life wishing you were different or you can accept how you are and enjoy your life.

No point in obsessing about something he can't change.

BakingOfTheFoodCats · 14/10/2021 22:36

I think it’s on the shorter side but so what? many of us have things we are insecure about or wish we could change, that’s life.

AramintaLee · 14/10/2021 22:37

I think it's a smidge below the average but there are plenty of successful and attractive men who are 5'8". Maybe point to them as an example (ie. Tom Cruise, Daniel Radcliffe, James McAvoy, Zac Efron, Joaquin Phoenix)

Cheesepuff1 · 14/10/2021 22:39

it is shorter for a man. you can get discreet shoe inserts which can add 2 inches which may help him feel he fits in more if its a real issue for him?

Animood · 14/10/2021 22:39

It's below average for the UK. Maybe he should more to Asia. He would feel tall almost everywhere there!

In all seriousness, you can say to him to not be bothered about it. But we all have insecurities and he is an adult after all.

Animood · 14/10/2021 22:39

It's not your job to make it better

PoetryLaser · 14/10/2021 22:40

@BakingOfTheFoodCats

I think it’s on the shorter side but so what? many of us have things we are insecure about or wish we could change, that’s life.
Wise words
NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/10/2021 23:00

Oh well, the average height of a woman is still shorter than that, so he needn't worry.

spotcheck · 14/10/2021 23:03

Theres nothing wrong with short.
It's not a judgement

Glassofshloer · 14/10/2021 23:05

@NeverDropYourMooncup

Oh well, the average height of a woman is still shorter than that, so he needn't worry.
This. He’ll be fine if he’s relaxed & confident.
OldGreyBoots · 14/10/2021 23:07

I'm 5'9, DP (male) is 5'7ish, it doesn't factor into his attractiveness for me at all. Obviously it's a consideration for some people which is fair enough, but there will be many people like me who focus on other things. (I like being the tall one Grin)

Darceyhemingway · 14/10/2021 23:07

@Animood harsh

Hellocatshome · 14/10/2021 23:09

I have one DS who is self conscious about being tall and one DS who is self conscious about being short. Its about time people realised body confidence issues affect men as well as women. But ultimately they are what they are and they can either accept it or spend life being miserable.

takingmytimeonmyride · 14/10/2021 23:12

That's tall to me, but then I'm only 5ft 1. My ex was 5ft 8 though and so far my sons are between 5ft 7 and 5ft 10.

I would count 5ft 6 as short for a man from my own short arsed point of view!

userchange987 · 14/10/2021 23:13

Lewis Hamilton and Valterri Bottas are 5ft7

middleager · 14/10/2021 23:16

My DH is 5ft 8. His dad is 5ft 5, so he feels tall by comparison.
My dad is 6ft, so he feels short by comparison.

I'm 5ft 1 and most adults are taller than me.

I hope he learns to focus on areas other than height - don't make it an issue.

Flowersinthefireplace · 14/10/2021 23:17

Oh well, the average height of a woman is still shorter than that, so he needn't worry

What on Earth does this mean? That women would never be attracted to someone not taller than them? Or what if he doesn’t like women?

Weird comment

TorchFire · 14/10/2021 23:22

DH is shorter than I am, and I’m 5 ft 6. He’s been entirely fabulous and in my life since 1992, and I’m beyond lucky to have met him.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/10/2021 23:31

@Flowersinthefireplace

Oh well, the average height of a woman is still shorter than that, so he needn't worry

What on Earth does this mean? That women would never be attracted to someone not taller than them? Or what if he doesn’t like women?

Weird comment

It's the usual reason men are bothered by being slightly shorter than average and it seems to be a thing with OLD to the extent that it's quite common for men to claim they're six foot when they really aren't.

I don't think it's particularly important, seeing as I've dated men from 5'3" to 6'5". But then again, I don't have a particular type beyond do I enjoy their company and are they kind to animals.

If he's into men, I don't think it really makes as much difference, going by some of my mates who are never without dates/boyfriends/partners/husbands.

Scbchl · 14/10/2021 23:35

I don't think 5"8 is that short to be honest. Id think 5"6 and under would be.

DrEllie · 14/10/2021 23:35

I'm very little myself and though I know it's different for women, I have always wanted to be taller - but it is one thing that can't be changed easily so you have to live with it. I always think smaller men seem more youthful, think Prince, Davy Jones (the Monkees) etc which is attractive

Wingedharpy · 14/10/2021 23:49

What a lovely post @TorchFire.

I feel exactly the same about my DH who is also vertically challenged.

I met him in the late 1970's when platform shoes were all the rage and, weirdly, one of the things that attracted me to him was his confidence and his refusal to wear ridiculous, fashionable shoes, that few could walk in, to make him look anything other that what he is - a short arse!

I too, feel truly blessed.

QueenBee52 · 14/10/2021 23:51

@1smallhamsterfoot

I’m sure I read somewhere (quite possible I’m wrong) that average is 5 9. So he is shorter than average 🤷🏻‍♀️

and this is helpful how Confused

TheFlyHalfsMum · 14/10/2021 23:54

My DH is 5’8 and so am I. Being the same height is perfect for us - it’s like a physical representation of the equality in our relationship!

It is shorter for a man, but that doesn’t mean it’s a problem!