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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend won’t let me bring my gecko to her house. Aibu?

315 replies

IndraOnTheMountain · 14/10/2021 16:44

I’m going to visit my friend for the weekend soon with my kids.

We have to look after the school gecko for half term, so I asked if we could bring him with us. He’s very small and his tank is only shoe box sized so this seemed quite reasonable to me.

She responded in an extremely abrupt way to say that I couldn’t bring him and would need to find another arrangement. She was particularly irate about the idea I would need to bring live crickets to feed him with. I reassured her that feeding geckos crickets is totally ethical, and that they are in an escape proof container but she was resolute. Tbh I think she was drunk.

I feel really hurt that she wouldn’t allow what seems like quite a small request! If she wanted to bring her gecko to my house I would be totally okay with that. It’s very inconvenient for me too, I think that she just doesn’t value my time or friendship. I’m already having to make arrangements for my dog and chickens when we go to visit so the gecko is just a step too far.

Aibu?

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/10/2021 17:56

I wouldn't mind a Gecko visiting, as they are incredibly cute.

However, one of my friends split up with his partner (amicably) and admitted later that it had taken eight months to deal with the results of her accidentally dropping one small tub of crickets as she was packing. Apparently, they moved into exactly the same places you'd ordinarily find mice - in the walls, under the floorboards, tops of bookshelves, under kitchen units, behind the sofa...

In his words, 'I really wish she'd been into mice instead, as at least mice don't drive you crazy with chirping all night and you stand a chance of catching the buggers with a humane trap and some peanut butter'.

bellabasset · 14/10/2021 17:58

Haven't RTFT but I had to smile as one of our colleagues had live crickets delivered to work. One kind staff member put the delivery in the fridge in our commercial kitchen................ can't repeat what was said to the rather naive staff member who was clueless as to what she had done. My cousin is a veterinary nurse and keeps crickets, they have a separate shed to house their exotic pets such as a snake

Viviennemary · 14/10/2021 17:59

I am team your friend. It would be a no from me. Live crickets. ShockShock

momtoboys · 14/10/2021 18:00

This has to be a joke.

Peanutsandchilli · 14/10/2021 18:00

Really? Hmm Why would you agree to look after a gecko if you knew you were going away? Seems bloody irresponsible to me.

Bluntness100 · 14/10/2021 18:01

Cmon no one is this entitled. Defo a reverse.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 14/10/2021 18:04

She doesn't want to and that's her choice.
Either cancel the weekend or ask the school to have another kid take the gecko.

lynntheyresexpeople · 14/10/2021 18:09

Geckos cannot live in a shoe box sized viv, and need heat lamps and mats to survive.
So, this didn't happen.
And if it did, you'd be the most ridiculous person on earth.

Megistotherium · 14/10/2021 18:12

If you are going somewhere, I don't understand why you agreed to look after gecko in the first place. Speak to the teacher and ask someone else to look after them?

DILevil · 14/10/2021 18:12

Adding my voice to “reverse” surely?

MadeItOut21 · 14/10/2021 18:14

You are so so unreasonable, OP. Either tell school you can't have a pet during the holidays or stay home and take care of it.

MareofBeasttown · 14/10/2021 18:16

@MedusasBadHairDay

If she wanted to bring her gecko to my house I would be totally okay with that.

.. has everyone been issued with a gecko except me?

Grin
caringcarer · 14/10/2021 18:16

I hate reptiles no way would I allow in my home. Dog could come though.

LonginesPrime · 14/10/2021 18:16

I think that she just doesn’t value my time or friendship.

I'm sure she feels the same about you, OP!

You've basically committed to an arrangement that meant you'd be unlikely to be able to go away for the weekend and would have to cancel your plans with her - I'd be frosty in her situation too.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 14/10/2021 18:18

Are you taking your hedgepig as well? I understand they quite like sleeping in baths!

MilduraS · 14/10/2021 18:20

I love reptiles but a lot of people don't so I don't think she's being unreasonable. Geckos are tiny and hard to find if they escape. I also know from my own experience with a bearded dragon that crickets do occasionally make a jump for it and can spend days roaming while throwing their voice to put you off the scent.

Xmassprout · 14/10/2021 18:21

I feed my lizards Locusts. The Locusts are kept in boxes they can't escape from. At least once one of the little bustards escapes as soon as I open the lid though, and then feasts on my house plants for a little while.

I'm assuming it's a leopard gecko? Just because it can live in such a small enclosure doesn't mean it should. How do you keep the propwr thermal gradient in such a small space? How is the UV set up?

toocold54 · 14/10/2021 18:22

How often do geckos need to be fed?
If you’re only going for a weekend could you not leave it at home and feed it before you go and when you get back?

Staffy1 · 14/10/2021 18:23

Yes, she must have been drunk Grin

spongebunnyfatpants · 14/10/2021 18:25

The gecko should not be in a tank that size, its far to small and traveling around with it to different environments will cause it stress.
It's not a toy that you can take anywhere with you.
If the school are keeping it in a vivarium that size they need reporting for animal cruelty.

sofakingcool · 14/10/2021 18:25

You should be able to leave a gecko for a weekend, they only feed once or twice a week

It amazes me a school would have one that is taken home by children, not what I would say is a transportable pet?!

SpicyTool75 · 14/10/2021 18:27

No, no and no.
The school should not be passing the gecko to homes like that either, cruel.

As for the crickets, we had to know part of a wall down to get to an escape artist after weeks on night time chirping. He has grown a lot in that time too.

I can understand her saying no, she must know more about their care than the school do

TSSDNCOP · 14/10/2021 18:27

Hard no from me. I could feasibly get next to the gecko, but the live insects would drive me insane

DeireadhFomhair · 14/10/2021 18:28

Gecko? Crickets? Wow, some people!

LonginesPrime · 14/10/2021 18:30

I can understand her saying no, she must know more about their care than the school do

Or she just has boundaries and doesn't want a gecko in her house!