holidays with lazy teenagers

[KingsleyShacklebolt]

Now I am not one of those up at 6am every morning people. But we are on holiday - in the UK - this week with two children aged 13 and 16. They do not want to be getting out of bed before 11am at the earliest. Then shower, get ready, have "breakfast", sort themselves out - not ready to leave the house until 1pm. By which point most of the day has gone. I'm not spending £££ on an "all day" ticket to somewhere which closes at 5pm when the kids can't sort themselves out to arrive before 2pm.

At least they're at the age where DH and I can fuck off on our own and leave them to it. But why would you want to be on holiday, in a new place, and waste all of it lying in your pit?

These are children who manage to get up at 7am every day for school, do not need constant reminders and are never late. I'm not asking for 7am starts on holiday, but up around 8.30 or 9 and ready to go out at 10.30 or 11 at the latest isn't too much to ask is it???

We plan what we are doing in advance and usually have a bit of a plan for the order/timing of showers for the morning. Im

Depends if they're happy enough to be left behind. I'd try to do a mix of activities that you want vs what they want as well as some things that start later

Posted too soon...

I'm of the opinion that on holiday it's absolutely fine to have a lie in if you have no plans though.

Your posts isn't too clear about whether you have made plans and they refuse to get up or if you want to go somewhere on the day and they haven't got up because they don't know?

No particular plans, given that it's the UK we usually take a wait and see approach as to what we will be doing as the weather can be unpredictable. We have asked repeatedly for them to come up with ideas about what they'd like to see/do. The two suggestions were Primark and Starbucks.

Fuck me.

They are more than happy to be left, so we are leaving them and doing our own thing. What a waste though, they are in one of the most visited and historic places in the UK and the only thing they are interested in is fucking PRIMARK. Better we leave them here to watch shite on TikTok than put up with their faces tripping them while they write off whatever we want to see as "boring" or "sad".

I don't know what age they are but would they rather just stay at home. Not everyone likes holidays.

I generally leave mine to it on holiday but if we all agree to do something then I insist they get their arses out of bed and do it.

Did they want to go on holiday though?

Yes they wanted to go on holiday!

@helpfulperson

I don't know what age they are but would they rather just stay at home. Not everyone likes holidays.

Second sentence of OP's post gives their ages. Hope this is helpful.

I would t even have gone on holiday without a bit of a plan/ideas of things we could do. The teens are always part of the planning.

Communication is your problem- it's easily solved as well.

I would drag them out of bed. Honestly. Confiscate their duvet.

wouldn't

Could you go somewhere in the morning while they are in bed and then you all visit somewhere else in the afternoon? I do this is the hols as I have a preschooler and some teens. Me and the preschooler get out early and then we visit somewhere else late afternoon once the teens have arisen from their lairs.

Depends what you are doing for the day. Surely you're not spending ££ on all day activities every day?
My teens don't like getting up in the morning either, so we accept that our day starts later, but equally we do things in the evening (which you wouldn't do if you have toddlers). If we specifically want to do an all day activity we specify that everyone must be up by x time - which they accept if they want to do the activity. If they don't want to do the activity, why are you taking them to it?

Teenagers love sleeping. I would not be bother if they are on school holidays but there is a big difference between waking up at 6am on holidays and be ready to leave at 13pm. May be something in between?

I would let them relax ! School is exhausting for the teen brain which is designed to stay up late and sleep late.

Why not just shift the day about and enjoy your peaceful mornings. Let them do primark and then add some choices of their own.

Remember op you have forgotten the toddler days of being desperate for a morning off !

@KingsleyShacklebolt

Yes they wanted to go on holiday!

Was it just to have a rest and change of scene though?

I don't think up late is a waste if a day though. Everyone wants different things from a holiday. Did you discuss it?

Don't expect them to be out everyday.

Give them a list of possible things to do and ask for requests.

Check the forecast each evening and plan the next day so everyone knows what is on offer. They choose then whether to take part or not. If they say they want to join in, agree a leaving time and stick to it.

Teens aren't going to get up early - especially during the school holidays - on the off chance that something vaguely interesting might be happening.

We had talked about things we'd like to do before leaving home. Don't mind, whatever, dunno.

Anyway we're off out now and they can sort themselves out!

I remember being dragged across the world as a teen with parents who called me lazy and ungrateful. I was seriously depressed and extremely anxious about going outside.. also just really really tired.
Being left didnt help me it just made me really sad but I was an only child and yours have each other I guess so thats less of an issue.
I think you are being very harsh. They are teenagers and even if they arent depressed its a very difficult time. Teens do need a lot more sleep than adults.. also emotionally they are all over the place and can find new situations hard. They won't show this and cover it up by acting bored/cool because its very important to them to look in control of the situation because they are pathologically self conscious. Id just try and be a bit more sympathetic. This is not who they'll be when they are adults this is them growing up.. they are still kids.
I absolutely love travelling now, I have energy and interest and appreciation as an adult that I wouldnt have had the strength for as a child. I went all round the world in my twenties.
But I remember being dragged across Europe in my teens and just sitting on my own in hotel rooms wanting the ground to swallow me up.

I know its frustrating for you and you're just venting.. but remember not to take the behaviour of teens personally or think this is who they are going to be as adults. Most teens behave like this and anyones who doesn't is extremely lucky

I absolutely HATE this attitude. My mum was like it and it wound me up no end.

My holiday is also a holiday for me, and sometimes that means doing sod all and getting up late. Sure, make plans to do stuff - but then the agreement is up at a certain time. Don’t make agreements and then allow them to lie in

For a week's holiday I would compromise on three or four days when they are up, dressed and ready to go by 9 or 9.30 at the latest and then a couple of days when they can slouch about. Presumably you have involved them in the planning? I wouldn't let them fester all week!

I understand your POV, but having spent most of my childhood and teenage years (when not visiting family members) being dragged round stately homes and other sites of very limited interest to me, it didn’t feel much like a holiday. Can you see the things you want to see in the morning and then reconvene later for something you can all enjoy? Or, everyone takes a turn to pick an activity for the day. Everyone gets a bit of what they want and others join in with good grace.

They obviously don’t share your interests, surprise, surprise. I don’t think the majority of teens do.

Either decide if you’re going to let them have the holiday they want or not.

Mine are the same ages, and will agree to get up early if there's an all day thing we all want to do. So if you want to do a £££ place - find out if they do too, and then do it with or without them accordingly.