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Original poster

holidays with lazy teenagers

132 replies

KingsleyShacklebolt · 13/10/2021 11:14

Now I am not one of those up at 6am every morning people. But we are on holiday - in the UK - this week with two children aged 13 and 16. They do not want to be getting out of bed before 11am at the earliest. Then shower, get ready, have "breakfast", sort themselves out - not ready to leave the house until 1pm. By which point most of the day has gone. I'm not spending £££ on an "all day" ticket to somewhere which closes at 5pm when the kids can't sort themselves out to arrive before 2pm.

At least they're at the age where DH and I can fuck off on our own and leave them to it. But why would you want to be on holiday, in a new place, and waste all of it lying in your pit?

These are children who manage to get up at 7am every day for school, do not need constant reminders and are never late. I'm not asking for 7am starts on holiday, but up around 8.30 or 9 and ready to go out at 10.30 or 11 at the latest isn't too much to ask is it???

OP posts:
NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 14/10/2021 16:33

"Who said there’s not much to do in York??!"

Me. You can't spend "ages" on the shambles at all and they've been shopping anyway.

Cat cafe? Envy (not envy)

Chocolate story is just ok for little ones and if you like chocolate.

Getting a bus out of town is not "in York".

Escape rooms and fudge and that gross bubble tea are in every town now. Hardly exclusive to York.

Now don't get me wrong, it's fine, but I can see why they wouldn't be champing at the bit to see "the sights" when they'll have lapped the city 3 times already

Ladylunchalot · 14/10/2021 16:48

After being in Yorkshire with dd (15) and ds (12) in the summer I've finally realised that the holidays we used to do are now not suitable.
We can't leave ds alone due to autism and epilepsy and he's now at the horrible almost teenage grunting phase so who knows where we'll go on holiday to next??!
I feel your pain op, it's so hard at that age to please everyone and still try and enjoy the break yourself.

FateHasRedesignedMost · 14/10/2021 17:25

They’re teenagers, probably bored and disillusioned with the holiday days out they used to enjoy. It’s normal for teenagers to be moody and want to sleep a lot, miss their friends, seek familiarity. Are you trying to take them site seeing or for walks? I remember getting so cross with my mum on holiday abroad as a teen, she wanted to explore and I just wanted to stay in the hotel spa. We argued a lot that week as she didn’t like going site seeing alone. She kept saying I was ruining the holiday and I felt I was being dragged from cathedral to museum. We laugh about it now!

If your teens are trustworthy why not let them lie in while you and DH go out? Then meet for dinner out or something they enjoy.

Maria1982 · 14/10/2021 17:43

The fact you are calling them lazy seems lacking in empathy and understanding of teenagers to me. You do know their brains are wired to be more nocturnal at that age??

My dad was the same - always harping on about us being lazy, and extolling the virtues of early rising. In my teens my brain would easily be most awake and alert between 10pm and 1am. Loved doing schoolwork then. It wasn’t anything I did on purpose !! Yes I got myself up for school and wasn’t late, but catching up on sleep at the weekends was a must. I still remember how hard it was to drag myself out of bed in early mornings.
It has noticeably got easier over the years! Late thirties now, still a night owl rather than morning person by natural inclination, but getting up early in the mornings is nowhere near as painful as it was when teenage!

Maria1982 · 14/10/2021 17:44

Also what others have suggested: compromise some days getting up, others they lie in and you go out. And plan ahead and communicate for this.

Szyz2020 · 14/10/2021 17:46

You can spend ages on the Shambles if you a)like queuing b)like poking around shops full of tat / quirky things / Harry Potter themed goods. Some teens can spend hours just mooching like that!

And of course street food and shops and escape rooms are not exclusive to York, but that is where they are away on holiday and where they currently have time to spend rather than being at school. These are things that may appeal to teens who don’t want to look at churches and museums and history but who are currently unable to hunker down in their own bedrooms at home, having been offered a change of scene by their kind parents.

Original poster
KingsleyShacklebolt · 14/10/2021 17:49

We did an escape room this morning and they both enjoyed in very much. Shambles market is good, but pretty empty of stalls during the week.

OP posts:
Bigfathairyones · 14/10/2021 17:52

Day on, day off. Agree in advance what you're doing on each of the 'on' days and make sure they notice when you say - 'good sleep?' when they leave the bedroom hovel at midday on the 'off' days. Don't stress it - holiday is the operative word.

SueSaid · 14/10/2021 18:02

I'm surprised you're surprised.

Teens like nandos, cinemas, shopping and theme parks.

Just leave them to sleep in and collect them after lunch for erm, exciting site seeing around York. The day isn't really over by lunchtime is it?

3scape · 14/10/2021 18:47

There's an age at which family holidays are just a waste of time for everyone involved. I'd suggest talking to them about what they do want and perhaps paying for that sort of thing and having a holiday with your partner

DeepaBeesKit · 14/10/2021 23:05

Even teenagers don't need more than around 10-11 hours sleep a night, so if they arent waking up by 10 or so I'd be assuming they are up half the night on phones etc. Have a 10pm curfew on phones for the 13 year old at least and you will probably find they magically rise earlier.

Marrple · 14/10/2021 23:15

I remember as a kid being dragged here there and everywhere. My mum and dad used to drive us to some little village on a Sunday when nothing was open. Looking in antique shop windows!!! A round trip of around 5/6 hours and I got a bottle of lemonade and a packet of crisps if I was lucky! Why did they think I would be interested in that when I could spend 5 hours in my bedroom listening to the Human League or going round by friends house to talk about boys ! Hideous those days were.

garlictwist · 15/10/2021 00:04

My mum has this amazing photo of me and my three siblings as teenagers sitting outside a Tuscan hilltop church looking so grumpy. It makes me laugh today as we just look like the saddest people on earth.

I remember feeling so pissed off we had to go and look at frescos rather than sit by the pool and stare at boys.

It's a stage and while you may feel they're lazy or ungrateful, they are teens and this is entirely normal.

Mischance · 15/10/2021 09:30

I remember spending a 2 week holiday in Austria with one of my teenage DDs, and she spent the whole time pining for her boyfriend (now husband) who was himself away from home anyway.

As an adult she often says how patient we were and how she wishes she had taken advantage of the lovely scenery!

WalkingOnTheCracks · 15/10/2021 11:25

Whenever we go anywhere, DP wants to go and look at castles and markets and historic woodland and cathedrals and retail outlets.

I want to go nowhere. I'm happy to hang out wherever we're staying and read a book, maybe cook dinner having been to the shops.

The teenagers want to go to flea-markets or the pool.

If we each did what we want to do, we'd never see each other at all. On the other hand, if you're not doing what you enjoy, it's not a holiday, it's an expensive pain in the arse.

So we have to set aside a couple of 'family days' and find something we're all happy to do. Waterparks usually feature.

ssd · 15/10/2021 11:30

OMG poor buggers.

What teen wants to go round Harewood house and have afternoon tea at BettysGrin

Have you never been young @KingsleyShacklebolt

Let them be.

ssd · 15/10/2021 11:31

Though of course this being mumsnet there will soon be a pile if of mothers with 17 yr old sons who love nothing more than a tramp round a fusty old house and tea with mummy.

Original poster
KingsleyShacklebolt · 15/10/2021 13:53

@ssd

OMG poor buggers.

What teen wants to go round Harewood house and have afternoon tea at BettysGrin

Have you never been young @KingsleyShacklebolt

Let them be.

They enjoyed the afternoon tea. They also enjoyed the outside bit at Harewood House.

But on a FAMILY holiday, it's not all about what one person wants to do, is it?

OP posts:
Cruiser11 · 15/10/2021 14:24

We didn’t do any NT places once were over about 11 years old, they refused to go. We left it a few years snd then bought memberships for just my DH and myself. We now play a game when we go called ‘spot the breaches’, it consists of seeing if either of us spot anybody over the age of 12 and under 25. About one in 10 trips we’ll see a teenager usually with a big camera looking as if they’re doing some sort of photography project.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 15/10/2021 14:40

But on a FAMILY holiday, it's not all about what one person wants to do, is it?

If the one person is the mum, yeah, usually.

icedcoffees · 15/10/2021 15:11

But on a FAMILY holiday, it's not all about what one person wants to do, is it?

No, but equally, when you're a parent, you can't just pick what you want to do and expect your teenager kids to be happy trailing around behind you, lol.

So you need to compromise. At their ages they're old enough to go off alone for a few hours while you do some more adult activities. Then meet up for lunch/Starbucks, and maybe do something as a family later in the day. You don't need to spend all day, everyday together just because it's a family holiday.

CrystalBird · 15/10/2021 15:19

You appear to have forgotten what it's like to be a teenager OP 😀

Flipflopblowout · 15/10/2021 15:49

So you have discovered that what is important to you is not necessarily important to your children. You should have set some ground rules before you left home on how many days they can stay in bed and how many days you expect them to be up.

Anonymous48 · 15/10/2021 21:57

@DeepaBeesKit

Even teenagers don't need more than around 10-11 hours sleep a night, so if they arent waking up by 10 or so I'd be assuming they are up half the night on phones etc. Have a 10pm curfew on phones for the 13 year old at least and you will probably find they magically rise earlier.
I agree with this. My kids were never allowed their phones (or other electronics) in their rooms, so they ended up going to sleep at a reasonable hour and then they wouldn't want to sleep all morning.
Cuddlyrottweiler · 15/10/2021 22:26

Just let them do their own thing. They probably just need down time to recharge.

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