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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

holidays with lazy teenagers

132 replies

KingsleyShacklebolt · 13/10/2021 11:14

Now I am not one of those up at 6am every morning people. But we are on holiday - in the UK - this week with two children aged 13 and 16. They do not want to be getting out of bed before 11am at the earliest. Then shower, get ready, have "breakfast", sort themselves out - not ready to leave the house until 1pm. By which point most of the day has gone. I'm not spending £££ on an "all day" ticket to somewhere which closes at 5pm when the kids can't sort themselves out to arrive before 2pm.

At least they're at the age where DH and I can fuck off on our own and leave them to it. But why would you want to be on holiday, in a new place, and waste all of it lying in your pit?

These are children who manage to get up at 7am every day for school, do not need constant reminders and are never late. I'm not asking for 7am starts on holiday, but up around 8.30 or 9 and ready to go out at 10.30 or 11 at the latest isn't too much to ask is it???

OP posts:
AlbertBridge · 13/10/2021 13:16

Second sentence of OP's post gives their ages. Hope this is helpful.

😂 😂

Rachie1973 · 13/10/2021 13:18

I’d just leave them be.

Let them holiday as they like and you do as you like.

They have years to visit the historic sites that you appreciate. I love that shit but as a teen, I preferred to veg out.

Echobelly · 13/10/2021 13:18

I've had to adjust expectations not because of kids but DH on holiday often isn't ready to go anywhere until lunchtime, unless we have planned a very specific big day out. I've just learned to slow down and accept it. He wants to slow down on holiday and I've learned the benefits of not trying to fit in EVERYTHING on holiday.

I'd say leave teens to it if they can't get arses in gear.

FrankButchersDickieBow · 13/10/2021 13:28

So you say you are in an historic town. As a teenager, I couldn't give a fuck about that. In fact it would bore me silly.

You haven't actually said what activities you are doing OP.

I used to hate being dragged round towns 'ooh look at that church' or visiting a museum, or a market. In fact I absolutely hate museums now and I'm sure it was because we were forced to go as teenagers.

I would have loved lounging around and pottering about in the day and then going out somewhere nice for food.

mirror9 · 13/10/2021 13:33

I always take the stance with my teens that we are doing x tomorrow and leaving at x. I will give 2 wake up calls if they say they want to come and then leave at the time I said - maybe 10 min after to give them a little extra time. There's food in the house and they have a mobile. They will be fine.

underneaththeash · 13/10/2021 13:49

I think being up by 9 and out for 10.30 is fine. My kids are 15,13 and 10.

Bramshott · 13/10/2021 14:25

The day you describe sounds lovely @UniBallEye!

ChaToilLeam · 13/10/2021 14:31

I don’t think I’d be very inclined to spend much time on holiday with someone who labeled me lazy and disorganized. Hmm Way to connect with your teens!

And I’m not a fan of teenage bad behaviour, but it sounds like they just want to loaf around and do their own thing. It’s not the crime of the century.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/10/2021 14:44

My parents used to take us to beach holidays abroad , which was obviously lovely of them. Drove my dad mad that we’d sleep late, miss the included breakfast (was always half board) and then nag for food about midday before he and my mum were ready for lunch!

But at least they could wander onto the beach without us and know we’d join them under our own steam when ready. So their holiday wasn’t wasted - my dad is an earlier riser which was a big plus for my mum when we were little kids as she got lie ins!

Would something like that appeal to you all - a holiday where people can dip in and out and do as much or as little as they want? Rather than a city break or similar.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/10/2021 14:44

On your specific quesion, I do think it’s normal for teens to want a lie in (although mine doesn’t - she does like a loaf around though)

Original poster
KingsleyShacklebolt · 13/10/2021 16:09

We have had the "overseas, hotel, all inclusive" style holidays in the past and have one booked for next summer. But ever since they are little we have been on UK based holidays too, usually self-catering. We have had this one booked for months. We're in York, so it's not like there is nothing to do. Last time we were here the kids were much smaller and we did the stuff which was part of the Jorvik group.

In covid times, being spontaneous is not an option, everything has to be booked in advance. So far as a family we have been to Harewood House, had afternoon tea at Betty's in Harrogate and went on a ghost walk. DH and I have walked around the walls, been to the Minster and walked round the racecourse.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 13/10/2021 16:13

So as long as the DCs are doing SOMETHING every day , then why worry about what time they get up ? If going to Primark is the highlight of their trip then let them go. It's hardly like teenagers are going to enjoy the rambling shopping streets or the history.

safariboot · 13/10/2021 16:18

But why would you want to be on holiday, in a new place, and waste all of it lying in your pit?

Why would you want to be on holiday and be forced to get up when you're tired?

Most teenagers are naturally "night owls", and gadgets tend to aggravate this. Just because yours have the discipline to get up early when they need to doesn't mean they like it.

I also think that when it comes to holidays there's two kinds of people. People whose ideal holiday is doing stuff, and people whose ideal holiday is doing nothing.

Saoirse82 · 13/10/2021 16:34

I don't think many teens care about seeing historic towns, I certainly wouldn't have at that age. It sounds like typical teen behaviour, frustrating I know but certainty not unusual.

Cantcook842 · 13/10/2021 16:40

I suppose it depends where you have taken them, what there is there to do for them and what the weather is like..

rookiemere · 13/10/2021 16:47

Also can they walk or are they dependent on you for a lift in the car to go anywhere?
This Summer we stayed in Whitby for a week and I think DS really appreciated that we were within walking distance of our holiday flat and he had a bail out option when we became to annoyingly parenty for him.

Original poster
KingsleyShacklebolt · 13/10/2021 16:49

Well it's about a mile into the city centre, we're walking everywhere because traffic and parking in York is just horrendous, worse than Edinburgh and it's just not worth the hassle.

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/10/2021 16:56

Very normal IMO, no point in getting stressed about it. When mine were that age we didn't expect to see them before about mid-day, if it was sooner then it was a bonus.

DH and I would go out for breakfast or visit somewhere. Come back and make lunch for us/brekkie for them .... then do something together in the afternoon. Segway, beach, boat trip, shopping, cinema etc.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/10/2021 16:58

Why would you want to be on holiday and be forced to get up when you're tired?

^^
I do agree with this myself, and I’m an adult!

If you’re a night owl the whole point of a holiday is to lie in - the whole world is set up for the convenience of larks, so we night owls practically live for those few occasions where we can obey our body clocks. Most teenagers are, as a pp has said, at least temporarily night owls.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/10/2021 17:05

@UniBallEye eating out with teens is fab isn't it. I love the fact we can go to proper restaurants and try different sorts of food. No rush, no bedtimes or trying to keep them amused with colouring/polly pocket or other shite. Gets a bit expensive when they get to their late teens though and starting ordering cocktails Grin.

ittakes2 · 13/10/2021 17:13

Its there holiday they can spend it how they like!

mycatscausehell · 13/10/2021 17:15

as someone in york, maybe try going to the hotpot restaurant as a family? then a walk along the river in the evening?

Marrple · 13/10/2021 17:18

Given a choice, I think a lot of teens wouldn’t go away in the UK if they had a say. They probably don’t want to be there so nothing much you can do.

thevassal · 13/10/2021 17:24

You need to just accept that for a few years teenagers are just weird, love sleeping and hate spending time with their family.

I was a child who loved reading and history. As an adult I still love history, got a related degree, even worked in the field for a while. I love going to museums and castles in my spare time....but I recently read my diary from when I was 15 and 16 and despite the two great holidays my parents had taken me on, which I would love to go on now, all it is is moaning about missing my friends, having to share a room and not having access to the Internet!

In a few years time they will probably be back to enjoying spending time with you again but for now accept that this is their holiday too, and what they want to do is sleep, relax, and go to primark. The fact that you find those activities boring and a waste of time is as irrelevant as the fact they find your activities boring and a waste of time...just accept and leave them to it!

Gatehouse77 · 13/10/2021 17:29

With ours we planned in advance and included days with nothing to do which could turn into something. Or not, as the case may be.

That meant expectations were set in advance and it was agreed on before leaving.

Obviously, it’s not all plain sailing and there were still upsets but that’s normal family life. For us!