To send my 8 years old son to school on the bus?

[loveblueskys]

Hi all,

So DS1 is 8, 9 next month he's in yr4. So the school he goes to is about 2.6 miles from where we currently live (we used to live 5 minutes away from school before we moved in here - 2 years ago) We've been doing the drop off and pick ups of course.

As things have changed now currently pregnant and with 3 years old toddler who goes to nursery since this September, DH works hours, it became quite hard to do the school journeys with DS1.

I had a discussion with DH about sending DS1 to school and back on the bus only one bus straight from our main road to school main road (5-10 minutes walk to the bus stops.

DS is very sensible, mature enough for his age and responsible. He also very good with the journey on his own as we've tested him quite few times to lead us.

We're considering giving him a mobile phone ofc. My only concern is that what if the bus goes on diversion?

Has any of you sent DCs to school alone at around similar age? Just looking for some reassurance. TIA

You have to juggle the runs with toddler and soon baby as well, you see loads of women doing this at drop off. I assume you have a car, or are going to get one? Otherwise the house move seems not the best plan really. What does their dad suggest, his work doesn't mean he completely opts out of this

YABU. You chose to have a third kid. I categorically wouldn’t let my 9 year old ride on their own and am frankly appalled that he school thinks this is ok.

What if there’s an accident or he trips over on the bus?

You need to rethink this OP. You need to find help or you do it yourself.

OP stop being lazy. The fact you're pregnant and have a toddler is your choice. Just take your little boy to school yourself. He's too young to be facing the scrum of public transport twice a day.

Poor child. Being forced to grow up because more siblings are on the way and his parents can't juggle them all.
If you can't do the journey yourself OP, I would look to pay someone who can.

Can’t believe you actually started this thread tbh
Even entertaining the thought is disgraceful.
You should have thought about this before having a third and deciding it was all a bit of a faff
Do what we all have to do. Grow up and get on with it

I wouldn't, because UK public transport just isn't reliable enough, and there's not the culture of children bussing alone - if there were other children from his school doing it without parents that would be different (like I've seen when I accidentally took the bus to the city that stopped at every single stop instead of the express bus, and there were a couple of children coming on at each rural bus stop to go to school - because other children were doing it, and the bus service was reliable it was ok)

My DS did it, exactly sane circumstances to you although then had a longer walk from bus stop to school.

He too was very nature for his age. He had a cheap (of no interest) mobile phone. The oy ever incident was when an older lady sat next to him once and gave him a nice pack of chocolate before Xmas and he didn't know what to say after saying thank you but he decided it was better not to eat them and just brought them home.

He is now a young adult and is doing amazingly well. He got his first applied for job when he was 16 to and within a year was promoted.

Some kids really are much more nature in everyway. My DS's teacher and head knew he came and went in the bus and only ever congratulated him.

School bus yes, public bus absolutely not.

Everyone on here has said no they wouldn't and he is too young. That's the response OP. You need to take him or arrange/pay for someone to take him.

"My DS's teacher and head knew he came and went in the bus and only ever congratulated him."

What else would they do? They said "well done" to him because he was forced to tackle a grown up task at such a young age. That's not a good thing.

"The oy ever incident was when an older lady sat next to him once and gave him a nice pack of chocolate"

Yes, the regulars on the bus felt sorry for him. I'm not surprised bless him.

Our school just don’t allow this till year 5.

I have an 8 yo. I might let him walk to school at year 5 when allowed as it is a 5 min walk. I just can’t imagine putting him on a public bus. I know that most of the time it would be fine but buses occasionally break down/ don’t turn up/get missed/ get stuck in snow.

I am astonished that si many people think 9 is too young to catch a bus on their own to the next village. I live in a rural area and it is totally normal. Here service buses carry little old ladies catching the bus to do a bit of shopping or return their library books. If the bus doesn't turn up, kid walks back home, ig bus home doesn't turn up he calls home on a basic phone.
I dont understand how schools can possibly enforce rules about how kids arrive at school? I mean once they are there, what are they going to do? My kids walked to school after their 7th birthday. There's a fairly busy road outside our house , which I saw them across and then they walked by them selves down the pavemet and across the green about 400-500m

Our school just don’t allow this till year 5

School have precisely zero say in how a child arrives at school although they do try it.

I asked school to release ds2 in Y4 at the end of school so he could walk around the corner to get in my dads car (he was disabled so picked him up for me twice a week but couldn't make the walk to the yard). I included a full explanation in my email and gave my consent clearly.

My request was 'denied' and I was told someone had to be at the classroom door to collect him until Y5, with no exceptions. In the most patronising tone.

So I sent a lovely email back saying that was no problem, I'd collect him at 4.30 after I'd finished work. The next day he came out with the standard parental consent form to allow him to leave alone.

My DS has just turned 9 and is in year 5. Only started walking on his own since September. Our school is less than 1 mile away though. Don't think I'd send him on the bus!

It's a hard no from me - way too young.

Out of interest, why does having a 3yr old & being pregnant mean you can no longer drive him to & from school? Surely he has to take priority? Can your toddler's nursery hours not be flexible to fit around school times?

If it's that difficult, look into moving your son to a closer school

At my son's school pupils are expected to leave school independently from Y4 and parents are not allowed into the school grounds to collect (you have to agree a meeting point with your child outside the school grounds if you are collecting).

The school also has its own bus, the bus collects at the school entrance, a member of staff sees all the children on and the bus doesn't leave until the staff member says it can go. The bus driver has a limited number of stops and many parents meet their child at the bus stop. I would be reluctant to put my child on this bus, I wouldn't put him a general public bus at that age until his last year at Primary school.

I shree with @TirednWorried, at nine years I would expect a child to be able to get himself to school under the circumstances you describe. You said you will walk him to the bus stop so you will know he is safely on the bus with other families and shoppers. In the unlikely event of him having fallen asleep when the bus reaches school one of the other travellers would surely alert him! Presumably in your semi rural location there is only the one bus, and diversions of rural buses in the event of road works, etc, are well publicised. If you meet the bus after school and he has fallen asleep you can alert the driver yourself.
Mostly I am amazed that people think an almost nine year old should not be getting themselves to school. When I started school as a ‘rising five’ my sister, who was two years older, was responsible for getting me to school and back. This meant a short walk to the bus stop, a couple of miles on a bus, and a ten minute walk through town. In summer we were expected to walk to save the bus fare; a short cut across fields so a walk of over a mile. Different times for sure, but it’s not unreasonable that a nine year old could manage a bus journey. In another year he will be 10, the age of criminal responsibility. As others have pointed out, it’s your decision , not that of the school .

@Frazzled2207

I have an 8 yo. I might let him walk to school at year 5 when allowed as it is a 5 min walk. I just can’t imagine putting him on a public bus. I know that most of the time it would be fine but buses occasionally break down/ don’t turn up/get missed/ get stuck in snow.

If there is any snow at all the school would surely be closed, they close at the drop of a hat round here.

My 9 year old is ten in two weeks and while he’s confident, he would be out of his depth on the bus on his own.

The school being ok with Y4 going home alone is not the same as them being ok with said Y4 getting a bus alone.

@Pottedpalm where did you get "semi-rural" and only one bus route from?

The OP said it would be busy and after a 10 minute walk to the bus stop it's 20 minutes along a main road on the bus.

Our schools have never closed for the small smattering of snow we get anyway here but that's only a handful of days throughout the year.

There are all sorts of strange people getting on public transport at all times of day round here. If you'd seen the police gazette you'd know the startling amount of offences that happen on public transport.

If my only reason for sending my child alone on the bus at 8 years old was because I had made life decisions that meant it would be a bit of a pain in a morning for me then no, I wouldn't consider it.

My DD is 11, Yr 6. She's been making her own way to and from school, 1.5 miles, since start of year 5, so just turned 9. She gets the bus sometimes, but mostly scoots or cycles with friends.
She's by far in the minority in our area but she's extremely independent and sensible, always has a fully charged mobile, and has been coached thoroughly and what to do in an emergency. I think it's really good for kids to get some independence and have to figure things out for themselves. Maybe take him to the bus stop in the morning and meet him off the bus in the afternoon, and make sure he has a phone with him?

Has the op been back to say why she can’t do it? Because I did it whilst pregnant and having a toddler, by bus, is that literally the reason? Surely you would have known the situation before having another child? Or move him to a closer school?

How have you been getting him to school until now?