We’ve been together lots of years now. I usually only post here when I have issue with him, to gain perspective, and to be fair it’s a long time since I’ve posted. When the kids were tiny I looked after them 24/7 while he worked and had important things to do every weekend. I always thought he liked the fact I had no life outside of home, although I always made it clear I had not intention of remaining a SAHM. At the time I remember feeling totally on my own and thinking he will get a big shock once the kids are up a bit and I start doing things for me once again. 2yo ago all the kids were all at nursery and school so I started Uni. He can’t understand why I need a job as he gets paid enough to cover outgoings. He started getting jealous, I was patient. He calls my career aspirations my “precious little job”, questions my priorities, accuses me of cheating, shouts at me then stonewalls me all the time, asks why I’m going on about it if I try to ask him why he loses his temper at me, moans about not getting enough sex (I feel so put off him by how he treats me), thinks I’m masturbating if I’m in the shower too long, gets jealous of tv programmes like love island, has a go if I haven’t texted him enough in the day, can’t text my sister without him wondering who I’m texting, drink drives, always storming out pissed and tries to hide his drinking but I can smell and see the effect clearly. I know he has had low self esteem for a long time and I have been reassuring but now I just think he is controlling and manipulative as nothing I say to reassure him makes any difference (well, he will apologise then just repeat behaviour), claims he is scared of losing me and has made veiled suggestions of suicide should that ever happen. Has anyone dealt with this and does it ever go away. He shat all over my suggestion of counselling as I know he has unresolved grief too, saying he was his own man. I have I’m not entirely sure whether I can tolerate any more micro managing or belittling. My sister knows what he says and does so I do have support, but I am changing my perfectly normal behaviour to accommodate his reactions, and trying to rationalise his treatment of me and I don’t think that’s healthy at all.